Hello to anyone who comes across this post.
I’m literally just going to rant about random stuff in my life, so please feel free to scroll. I do appreciate anyone who stays to read though.
Anyways, on with the rants.
I’ve felt distant from God lately, mainly because I realized I don’t love him as much as I should. It’s funny that I feel like I’ve evolved in some ways but really my understanding of faith is still so juvenile. I’ve really turned away from things that are sinful, but I still have so much to go. And sometimes I’m just afraid that I’m never gonna be the person God wants me to be, but I find solace in the fact that even when I’m acting my worst, that God can still use me. He can use me even when I know I am being my worst. And that really helps me get through the day.
There’s also many things I’ve realized, I’m plus size, well obese is more like it. I know that with my existence it’s a nuanced topic. I’m leaning more about health and realizing the damage that comes from all the blantant lies about “body positivity”. Because no, my body isn’t healthy, yeah, I wish I was thinner, and I wish I was healthier.
But people don’t want to hear that.
I’ve also realized that a lot of times, and when a man wants a woman just because she’s chubby or fat, it’s fetishization, and objectification.
But people don’t want to hear that either.
I just hope that if I ever find a man to love, that he wouldn’t mind me not matter what size I’m at. Whether I become super skinny, or whether it takes me a long while to get to a healthy weight. I just would want him to love me for me. Of course attraction is important, but I think that loving someone for the work in progress they are is immensely more important.
Oh yeah, one last thing before I go, Ray Bradbury was right. In Fahrenheit 451, he was absolutely right. We need to get off our screens and explore the world more, be more social, even if that means being awkward. And I get it, I think I’ve made tech an idol, but I’m working on lessening my usage.
That doesn’t mean I hate tv, movies, or YouTube, or that I’m an extremist and say that it should all be burned away and never exist.
Just be on it less. We should read books again, it’s healthier. And honestly I’ve been reading more books lately and I’m having so much fun with it. However, that will ultimately culminate in me making my room a personal library, but I’m more than okay with that.
Ray Bradbury wasn’t really against tech itself, he did love the animatronics at Disney, and he said he didn’t fear tech, more that he feared what man would do with it. That it would make people shallow, lacking substance, more dependent.
And he’s right. But don’t let that send you down a spiral. Just read books or talk to people.
That’s all for today
Thanks for coming to my Crim-talk.