#critic please

[sternstvnde]

[jollykid]

The writer

In one morning, there is a writer. A writer who believes in smoothness and blinding brightness. A cleanliness that is so straightforward, it seemed like a good goal. A future that meant hurt-free. A sound that is silent and she’s allowed to think of self-fulfillment, of happiness that is only hers. She found a piece in her mind. She writes it down and let people see it. She hoped people appreciate. She hoped people understood. She’s right, and she’s supposed to be great. Greatness looks good to strive for. It’s hurt-free. She followed these pulls and she ends up in the real world. She likes to think she knows enough to be at peace. She wishes she’s read enough to be always right. She wishes and she dives in.

The existing collection of lives and structures is certainly noisy. A wild flock of breaths nearly pushed her into a dark alley. This alley smells of ageing garbage. It’s dark and wet. It’s a tunnel that sucks you in. No it’s not your fault, you’re just a curious person and something about mysteriousness is attractive. It offers a novel chance of you finding something different, then you might become different as well. She wanted to get in fully but she’s stuck. It was also scary. So she picks: danger or normal? Danger or normal?

The writer stays still. The dark place is enticing. But is a heart without security, only filled with hopeful wishes and imaginings of futures of hurt-free ready?

[mrvincible]

I need a critic

Kung nagagawa ko to na palaging walang tulog, then maybe I shouldn’t sleep na at all. hahahaha Loljk XD

You see, I have taken the challenge I brought upon myself to write my thoughts, ideas, etc.

here are some of them. Tell me something about it please? does it have wrong grammar, wrong use of words, does it have a funny title, etc?

http://mrvincible.tumblr.com/post/148849060360/parallel-lines

http://mrvincible.tumblr.com/post/148605523940/the-sum-of-my-parts

http://mrvincible.tumblr.com/post/148554198745/special-needs

http://mrvincible.tumblr.com/post/148354345900/irrational-number

http://mrvincible.tumblr.com/post/147991135885/primary-colors