How do I cut off feelings for an unhealthy pale/pitch vacillation? I keep coming on to them pale because they're just so damn pitiable but they keep fighting me and the fights feel so good too. It's not good for my mental health but I just can't stop. Got any advice?
I've b33n thinking about this one dearest anon, apawlogies fur it being kind of a late reply!
You used the word "pity" here which is usually refurring to the flushed quadrant, but I'm taking you at your word when you say pale f33lings-- especially beclaws no matter what quadrant you're in with this purrson, it s33ms like it's not good fur you!
Without exact details it's always a little difficult fur advice-giving, but I'm certainly not going to ask you fur more purrsonal infurmation! Instead, it's best to appurroach the situation as it is: You f33l like you want to help this purrson, but fur whatefur reason, they don't want to receive your help, and are aggressive towards you as a result.
So this answer can be applied to anyone in that situation regardless of quadrant: If somebody doesn't want to receive help, they are not ready to receive help. If you wanted to continue your purrsuit to help this purrson, I'd offer diffurent advice, but I'm furry glad to s33 that you know your limits and know that this is taking a big toll on you!
It stinks and it hurts, but unfurtunately, the best advice I can give is to stop offuring help. I know how hard that can be, I purromise I know furst-paw even, but if they were ready fur help, they wouldn't be fighting you on it. Fights like that can become addictive, especially if your brain has decided it's fur a good claws-- like helping a furend or a potential quadrant-mate-- and stopping is difficult especially beclaws you have to s33 somebody suffuring!
But if you're suffuring too, you should purrioritize yourself. If they want help, they will ask fur it, and please understand this is not your respawnsibility to help them, nor are your respawnsible fur their suffuring!
Also, if somebody has expurressed that they aren't interested in a quadrant with you, it can be good to remind yourself that coming on stronger won't help with anything. If they don't want to be in a quadrant, furend, they don't want to be in a quadrant! In the nicest way pawsible, you purrobably aren't helping your case by continuing to push.
If they're pitiable beclaws they n33d help, it's impurrtant to understand that you are not respawnsible fur helping them-- they will ask fur help of their own accord if they ever truly want it, regardless of how obvious it is if they n33d it.
And, barring that, regardless of how pitiable somebody is, if they don't want to be in a purrticular type of relationship (quadrant or not!) you purrobably shouldn't push!
(It's b33n a long time since I answered an ask like this furend so I hope I was able to help! Good luck with efurrything! :33c)
