#crossfatness

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God bless Las Vegas for charging two dollars extra to "go healthy"

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Instagram has started targeting me with ads for men's girdles. Related: why is this guy wearing a girdle?

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Crossfit Exercises That Make Athletes Fart: Ranked

Have you ever wondered why Crossfit gyms insist on blasting Pit Bull or AC/DC during every work out? It’s to cover the veritable symphony of farts going on during each session. Here are the exercises that make people fart the most based on very scientific science methods.

1. Jump Rope

A true farting classic. If you’re looking to set a farting PR, the rope is the way to do it. It really is a great exercise when you think about it. What other movement causes people to fart uncontrollably and sometimes pee in their pants?

2. Wall Balls

If I do Karen (150 wallballs for time), I will fart at least 50 times without fail. My lungs run out of wind WAY before my abdomen does.

3. Heavy Back Squat

The fart at the bottom of a heavy back squat is the riskiest one of all.

4. Ab Mat Sit-ups

These are the worst because you’re putting pressure on your abdomen, but then every time you sit up you’re plunging your head into a cloud of your own shame.

5. Actually, People Pretty Much Fart During Ever Crossfit Exercise

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This was me last night getting into the bathtub after heavy clean and jerks, heavy front squats, and Fight Gone Bad all in a row. 

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People who eat too much as a way of life see Thanksgiving the same way drunks see St. Patrick’s Day: Amateur hour. 

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God, Chris Farley was so awesome. This story couldn’t possibly rule more than it does. 

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It happens every Monday.

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The end of this video perfectly exemplifies the way I feel when I make a heavy lift and then some other jerk in the gym goes slightly heavier.