#crouleek

[badlydrawntykimikk]

Happy Holidays @vuorikettu ! I was your Secret Santa this year °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° I actually signed up from  my main account Crouleek, but since tumblr purge it’s almost inaccessible:< Hope you have amazing Holidays and Happy New Yearヾ(＾∇＾) Full yaoi version on my Twitter~

[incarnandine]

soooo last year I got a series of wonderful drawings with my otps from @crouleek-art for v-day; this year, I had in mind to do something similar - but I chose the pairs we actually do ship together :D

I’m awful with words and wishes and you already know that, but - thank you, over and over again, for pushing me always to go further instead of giving up on my art; for being there for me and for all the awesome memories we made together. <3

Happy Valentine’s day, @crouleek <3

pssst let me send you the original watercolors, the quality is way better

[49thpersona]

Happy birth!! @crouleek  _(┐「ε:)_ ❤

[raioseucliffe-cheney]

Stay with me (Valentine’s Challenge)

@crouleek this OS here is for you. Had a hard time thinking up the right setting so I came up intertwining two short stories into one. Hope, ya’ like it ^-^’

@dgm-valentine

Everything changed for me in a drastic way on a cold and snowy day. Until this day life itself was quite the struggle for me. I live since the day I was born with a severe heart failure and nearly died when I turned nine years old, from then on any kind of straining activity - no matter what kind of sports -was prohibited to me by my guardian Froi Tiedoll. But stubborn as I am, I went to Kendo class regularly even though it caused me multiple times to end up in the infirmary or at home for at least a few days in order to recuperate. This is also why I am mostly on my own since I don‘t need anyone to pity me for my health condition. I participate in PE even though I am freed from this lesson permanently. To be honest, I hate being weak. This is why I fight and drive myself constantly to the limit.

To actually be able to live a normal life like anyone else, this is a wish I‘ve forsaken a long time ago. I simply realized early enough I need to fight in order to enjoy whatever time is granted for me to stay alive for another day. Just by turning sixteen a new factor appeared in my life just as I learn at the same time my life can be saved by a heart transplantation. This chance would mean, I can simply follow my dreams I had to bury after a hard scolding from Tiedoll for my stubbornness. At least a little spark of hope is resting now again deep within me. One that assures me I won‘t have to die so young at all.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Four years pass on while I am now on the list, still waiting for a suitable donor. Just recently I was forced to quit Kendo for a while since I am quickly out of breath. On top of that I am again in the hospital due to the fact my heart nearly stopped in the middle of the night. If Noise hadn‘t checked on me - even though he‘s blind since he had an industrial accident - I would‘ve died while I was asleep. Being locked up and bound to a hospital bed is far worse than having to attend French lessons at school. Therefore I am constantly in a bad mood.

At one day I try to sneak out as I bump into the most obnoxious person I‘ve ever met. Actually, I was going to avoid being seen by one of the nurses as I hit my face on the back of a slightly taller person with flaming red hair being in my way out of here. „Watch out where you‘re going“ are now my words right now slightly aggravated as the red-head turns now around to me and I gaze right into a single eye shimmering in a clear emerald green while the other one is covered by an medicinal eyepatch. „Sorry, still adapting“ is the red-head now answering with a sheepish grin appearing on his face and I start to grit my teeth since my line of patience is wearing with any passing second thinner and thinner. But before I can react he grabs me at the hand and drags me into the storage room. Before I can complain at all, I notice footsteps outside and a short sigh starts to escape my lips. So much for being able to escape the hospital.

From now on I have at least company by Lavi as I find out his name. Even though he seems to talk nonstop, there are also some moments where he seems to be deeply absorbed with thoughts. During this time I also learn why he is currently at the hospital. Somehow I start to close myself even more up. Simply knowing I might not even survive until this summer in gnawing deeply at my entire soul. Therefore I refuse to see him again. If I have to be honest to myself, I am quite pathetic when it comes to interacting with Lavi. I allowed him to approach me in a way I‘m not prepared to face at all. Always refusing for someone to be too close to me, I start to find myself slowly in a situation I can hardly comprehend.

Since I am now befriended with the annoying red-haired man I suddenly start to become afraid of dying. Because somehow there is a bond between us I never shared before in my life at all. A bond, I still don‘t know what kind of emotion it triggers deep within me. As my health condition is now starting to deteriorate, the only visitors I have right now are Tiedoll and Noise since they are kind of my family. I haven‘t seen or heared of Lavi at all after he had been released from hospital. So therefore I can‘t explain at all why it suddenly starts to hurt deep inside if I only think for a short moment about the red-haired young man. Even when I close my eyes, most of the time I can see the shimmering emerald green directed at me while a gentle and warm smile is resting on his lips.

As a bitter cold winter is having a strong and firm grip on the country, I simply start to forsake even myself. All motivation, all inspiration to move one is fading. There is no hope at all. I moved up to the top of the list, but it is obviously too late. It hurts. It truly hurts to know this is the limit I have reached at all. It hurts even more to know, I had started to cling on to something that wasn‘t even ment for me to feel or enjoy at all. Fact is, I won‘t be able to see that annoying red-head at all and simply the thought of it infuriates and drowns me at the same time. Until everything started to go downward I was at least able to talk with him over the phone. But recently any sign of Lavi is vanished. As if he never existed within my life at all. This night is the one, where I give in and allow tears to stream down my face without knowing at all how much my life is going to change.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Valentine‘s Day. Kind of ironic to think this stupid day will be the one day to be brandmarked deep into my subconciousness. As I awake I still feel drowzy. My sight is blurry and I wonder what had happened in the recent hours. As I blink I can recognize Tiedoll and Noise standing next to my bed. Even Daisya is here. There is an expression on their faces, starting to make every cell within my body to churn. „They finally found a suitable donor for you. In the early morning hours they had to do the surgery, otherwise, you‘d be...“ is Daisya now saying with a gravely calm voice and I start to gulp multiple times. So why do I have such a bad feeling right now? I should be grateful to be able to live on once my body accepts the transplanted heart.

Once I am with Tiedoll alone there is again this expression on his face giving me the feeling to suffocate internally. „There is this letter from the donor“ is all he says to me as he hands me an envelope with a handwriting I haven‘t seen before at all. But somehow everything inside of me churns even more and I hesitate to even open the envelope. Usually the teachers in school all wrote my name in simple letters. But I‘m astonished to see the right kanji being used in order to pronounce my name correctly. Is it someone I am related to? Taking in a deep breath I open now the envelope as I can hear Tiedoll leave the room for now in order to give me the privacy I need.

Hey, Yuu

I really hope ya doin‘ fine. First of all I need to apologize for not being in contact with you at all lately. I had a lot of work to do for my grandfather, that‘s why I wasn‘t able at all to call you like usual. You know, you should really get out a lot. It is like with a flower. It starts to wilt without the proper amount of sunlight and water. I could do that, but otherwise I might be showering you with too much affection and I am unsure if you would even endure this habit of me at all. Somehow I end up falling in love so easily and crush everything. It‘s just....

....well how should I put it? Being around you made me realize that this time would be all right. This time I may be granted with happiness. That I might be able to be in a serious relationship full of warmth and love. But then there is still this voice resonating inside of me I am still unworthy. I still have to atone the crime I‘ve commited. Please, Yuu, just live and move on. Fight and stay strong as you usually have. Because this time you aren‘t all on your own anymore. Besides, I already know everthing there is to know about your health condition. That‘s why I give my heart to you. I am going to spend my life together with you. Actually I wished we‘ve met sooner. Then I might been able to take you out on a proper date. Right now, knowing I do the right thing, it hurts while having your pretty face constantly in front of my inner eye. I am really bad at saying goddbye at all. So I simply tell you, I am now with you the entire time

Lavi

While reading the letter tears flow down my cheeks and the pain inside my chest seems to grow unbearable. What is this idiot even thinking? Leaving me behind like this? I don‘t know about the things he might have done wrong before but I do know this annoying red-head means for sure a lot to me. It hurts even more to know, that the heart I got transplanted is actually that of the red-haired young man. A slight curse escapes my lips as more tears roll of my eyes and to be honest this wasn‘t for sure what I had hoped for to happen at all.

~~*~~*~~*~~

A year has passed on and I am able to live without restrictions at all. There is still the bitter taste while Valentine‘s Day is approaching soon. Meanwhile I learned Lavi had been involved into a deadly car crash, where he had lost his right eye. Two other people had died while he felt guilty for having survived while acting as designated driver for a friend. I also met the other person who‘s life was saved by one of Lavis donated organs. Funny thing is, this person the red-head saved next to me was his distant relative. But the more time I spent with him, I get the feeling to still have Lavi around me. Maybe it is just as he said in his letter. That he‘s now a part of me always at my side.

„You know, it‘s just a myth, but I heard that someone you truly love might be able to return even from the dead“ is Lenalee telling me with a mysterious smile resting on her lips while she drags me along shopping some ingriedients she needs for making self-made chocolate. Lucky for me I am always left out on her list. Shortly I raise my eyebrow, then I start to sigh deeply. Actually I doubt something like this is even possible. But somehow I start to wonder if there is even some truth to her words. Quickly I shake my head. It sounds too good to be true at all. Even though I‘d give everything to see that stupid rabbit one more time again.

Two days later I leave the house quite early in the morning, so no one can bother me at all. I sit underneath a big tree on a mat while it is snowing and I simply gaze at the gravestone not far away from me. Actually I don‘t care at all about getting hypothermia or even a bad cold. I just want to spend as much time with Lavi as possible. I kind of owe him this much since he saved my life by donating his heart to me. As I close now my eyes for a short moment, I suddenly feel strong arms wrapped around me and a warm breath starts to tingle at the skin of my face. I keep my eyes closed since a part of me is actually scared this might just be a simple trick of my mind. Therefore I lean in a bit closer and a radiating warmth seems to rise inside of me. „Sorry for making you wait, Yuu“ are the words now coming spoken out in a low voice and I open my eyes in shock while hearing them. Quickly I turn my head around and a single emerald green eye is directed right at me. But how is this possible? As far as I know Lavi had died a year ago. But at the same time he is right now next to me. I just don‘t know what to believe at all.

„Baka-Usagi“ is all I am muttering right now as I cling on to the anorak he wears right now and I hide my face so he won‘t be able to see the tears glistening within my own eyes. I agree to accompany him so I‘d be able to get a proper explanation to the entire situation. At the same time I have to think about what Lenalee had said to me about beloved ones being able to return even from death. Just, please, don‘t let this be some stupid dream at all. Because after I was released from hospital, all I was haunted by were these dreams where I just could see Lavi the entire time. So this is why I truly hope, that this has to be real.

Clad in silence I find myself sitting at the kitchen table of a small apartment with a mug of green tea standing right in front of me. Shortly gazing out of the window just shows how quick the weather has turned. The snowfall is so dense that you can barely see what‘s on the other side. So maybe I‘ve been lucky right now. I sit opposite this red-haired young man and all the things I want to say somehow won‘t come up at all. „Why...?“ is all I am able right now to say to him while staring at the mug I‘m holding on to.

„Difficult to explain, but I try my best, Yuu. You see, I am not really a human being“ „What ya mean by that? Of course you are human, Usagi“ „I only took on the form of one so I could roam around and learn more. I am actually a Phoenix Spirit, one of the rarest to find out there“

is he starting to explain, rubbing his neck and for the moment I feel like, this idiot tries to create whatever kind of story so I‘d believe him. As if I need some children‘s fairy tale right now to listen to. I simply get up without even making one sip of the tea and I head now towards the entry door as I feel a firm grip on my arm. „Yuu, please...“ is he saying to me right now. Actually, I am this close in yelling at him what kind of idiot he is and that I don‘t want to have to see him ever again. But right at this moment everything inside of me starts to churn by the simple thought of leaving this stupid rabbit behind.

„Let‘s pretend, I am going to believe you, why...“ is the question now coming from me as I avoid to look right at him, slightly biting my bottom lip, the content of the letter still clear in my head. „Obviously the will to survive is very strong inside of you. Besides, I don‘t know myself why I was even able to be reborn in this form again“ is he now saying while I direct my eyes now towards him. The same flaming red hair, now with a slight touch of copper. The same shining emerald green eye, this time filled with with an expression I don‘t really know at all. I just feel confused and relieved at the same time.

„Wait, if you are what you pretend to be, then you‘ll always be able to survive your partner“ is my response right now, slightly glare at him and no, I‘m doing really fine without him. I don‘t need such annoying, charming person around me who haunts me constantly within my dreams. „Go and look for some spirit you can ask out, I‘m out of here“ are the next words coming from he as I want to grab my coat and right in this moment he hugs me from behind, partly hiding his face in my hair.

„Yuu, just stay with me, please“ is he directing these words now to me, making me realize again what day today is. „Che“ is now escaping my lips as I close my eyes, slowly giving in to his plea.„But you still owe me a proper explanation“ are my words now directed to him, since I‘m not someone believing in spirits and this kind at all. Better for this idiot to make up, otherwise I might consider to look for someone else.

[49thpersona]

Wszystkiego najlepszego!🎂 Zdrówka, aby szczęście Ci dopisywało, by się gładko rysowało, dużo fajnych serii do oglądania, dobrej muzyki do słuchania, ŻEBY LAVI SIĘ ODNALAZŁ🎉 I co? No i żeby dobrze generalnie było, w życiu i na duszy(#^u^#)❤ Sto lat!

To takie idealne życzenia, że nie wiem co odpowiedzieć 😭😭 dosłownie wszystko czego od życia potrzebuję w jednych życzeniach. Więc dziękuję!! 💛💛 Oby sie spełniło 🔥🔥🔥💟

[incarnandine]

it's the 5th time my laviyuu mug from @crouleek pops up on my dash reblogged by various people and it makes me so happy bc she's such a wonderful amazing skilled artist and merits all the recognition in the world /flails;;;

[taintedblood-twistedlove]