#crowara

[chisupamoved]

selectively open ❥ ┇ SEND 📔 FOR A JOURNAL ENTRY WRITTEN BY MY MUSE.

@crowara​ said: 📔📔📔📔📔!!! for oiks!!!  

view in hq;; imgur uploaded them out of order and im just sigh.

MONDAY.   oct 12th.

I can’t stop thinking about HIM. It’s making me crazy !! I don’t know what to do, this is new. Feeling like this is new and I don’t know if I like it. Am I allowed to like it?

pros.

smile

eyes

makes me smile

i feel happy around him

hair !?!?!?

cons.

????

none?

nothing

Fuck

VOLLEYBALL THINGS. DON’T FORGET. SNACKS FOR KUNIMI

TUESDAY.  oct 13th.

I spoke to Hajime about Suga and he just LAUGHED!! What the hell, so unfair. He was no help and now I’m more confused than ever about my feelings, besides would Koushi even like me? 

He wouldn’t would he? 

Maybe I should lock away my feelings and forget.

But I don’t want to forget. I want to try, try and see if we can be friends. Having him in my life that way is better than not at all.

What do I tell him first?

I’m trans or I like/love? Him?

Both seem like they’d end badly.

But Koushi isn’t like that right? He’d not hate me for who I am, right? 

WEDNESDAY. oct 14th.

I ran into him today, I think I made a fool of myself, but I did ask if he wanted to go get something to drink and he said yes. So that’s something right?  THIS FRIDAY. 

Had a bad anxiety attack today

Had to hide in the bathroom

Chest is still tight.

THURSDAY. oct 15th.

Had a pretty bad day, school was just a headache. The girls seemed just more full on today, grabbing me and pulling me around.  I couldn’t say anything, it felt wrong if I did. Koushi texted me during the day, that made it better. I didn’t tell him about today, I wish I did. But does he really need to know that? But I have tomorrow, I’m super excited. Nervous but excited.

FRIDAY.

Writing this in the morning before school. Still nervous, very scared. Sent him a good morning text, is that a little much?

Before practice writing this: more nervous, hope that doesn’t mess up my serves. 

After practice: it totally messed them up

THE ‘date’? Hm. was it a date? I never asked. Either way it went well, I really REALLY liked being around him, it just made me want to tell him how I felt more. Koushi seemed to have had a good time, i hope so. I got him sunflowers, he seemed to like those? 

NEXT TIME DO I ASK HIM ON A REAL DATE?

[victoryonice]

        many ask what is is like for suga @crowara to grow up with an naturally gifted and humble older cousin.

[risesonthecourt]

@crowara said: [TEXT]: I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth 

(Sent: Suga): ....Why?

(Sent: Suga): You’re going to suffer through a lot of gross tastes for that you know. I don’t think any of them would be nice.

[victoryonice]

as victor is now @crowara older cousin his main goals in life is not only embarrassing suga as much as he possibly can but also flexing his medals in his cousins face.

[victoryonice]

"GO CHOKE ON YOUR GOLD MEDAL, VITYA!!!!"

      “ which one?”

[chisupamoved]

“ there’s no way i can hide these marks… ” for oiks!

open ❥ ┇ morning after // @crowara

A chuckle slips out— how could he not at such a statement, it was his fault after all but Koushi definitely tempted him with being well himself which was a crime alone. Ideas how to cover what he did flutter to his mind but— Tooru wanted to simply admire his handy work.

“Oh Kou-chan you worry so much I think they look good on you and on display!” 

But Tooru didn’t want Koushi to get into trouble due to him, even if the idea was somewhat humorous to him. Maybe that was a little unkind of him to be so amused by the thought of Koushi getting a scolding, if that was to happen Tooru definitely wouldn’t hesitate to make it up to his beloved.

He presses his face into Koushi’s neck and then sighs, “I can cover it in makeup if you want?”  Tooru presses a kiss onto one of the marks he’d made, “or you could wear a scarf maybe?” He smirked to then kiss at Koushi’s jawline, “not that it would cover everything. I’d normally say I’m sorry but… this is down to you as well, Kou-chan.”

[victoryonice]

      the following pictures are some of the pieces in exhibition titled “  when you cousin ... : the sad truth of koushi sugawara  and what is it like being the cousin of victor nikiforov .“

a note: i ask you to not leave this exhibition with nothing, please keep koushi sugawara ( @crowara )  in your hearts for the pain he has to go through... he needs all the support.

when your cousin since he was 17, and you yourself were 11, has been able to use the line “ yes but which one of us has the a gold olympic medal ?” in arguments:

when your cousin talks about you to the press:

when your cousin starts a media storm by being a dumbass... the same dumb ass who didn’t tell you he was in the same country as you so you find out from said media storm:

when your cousin is a messy drunk :

when you cousin is even a messier drunk with the person he likes

when your cousin can’t even stop being extra for like two seconds.

[victoryonice]

@crowara liked for a starter

                “ кокос ! ” the older man barely let his younger cousin take a breath the moment he stepped into the house. victor embraced the younger boy fiercely. the fact that victor was in the sugawara resident was in ways just as much of a surprise to victor himself, only deciding it yesterday. having only notified his aunt of his visit saying he wanted to surprise little кокос when he came back from school. 

       letting go of the embrace victor  paused to look at this cousin for a second before his hands went for koshi’s cheeks, pinching them while cooing “ you have grown so much !!! and look at how cute you have become !! i bet you have to chase people away with a stick ! “