#crowngleam

[immortium]

crowngleam said: I'm going to impart a trade secret of the Turtleneck Wizards Society. Your magical essence is stored within the sweater, and the only method for it to be properly washed is through being bathed in local fountains and ponds while still being worn by the owner. If the fabric tears, the magic is released, which may lead to mass destruction and perhaps even a fashion disaster.

i hope you dont mind more questions. this knowledge means a lot to me and im taking this all very seriously. i have no intention of misusing this information in any way and i appreciate your tutelage 

but anyway. back to questions. do the fountains have to be local? and must i put my magical essence into the turtleneck or will it happen from extended time on my body? will the ward that fends off all romantic intent be automatically placed upon donning the turtleneck or should i be casting a spell as i summon it from the dark realm?

[dirtineverycrack-blog]

@crowngleam not yet, i’m feeding mysef the grapes

[aunepassante]

@crowngleam True as that may be (and to be clear, chocolate chip is still better than oatmeal), there are situations in which a person favors the simple notes of oatmeal and cinnamon. The soft squelch of dried grapes. The texture of malleable dirt between their teeth. These people should not be looked down upon for their preferences.

[aunepassante]

@crowngleam Privilege of what sort?

[lamelamentations]

crowngleam replied to your post: crowngleam replied to your post: ...

Writhing in an attempt to feel something. To feel anything.

Should I write you down as Worm Kin, then?

[lamelamentations]

crowngleam replied to your post: crowngleam replied to your post: ...

Out of all the actions a worm is capable of, its by far the most arousing.

Worms of a Dirt Mound squirm together. 

[lamelamentations]

crowngleam replied to your post: The Wiggles were underrated, and also ahead of...

The sex icons of an era.

If you think about, wiggling is kind of sexy, don’t you think.

[immortium]

crowngleam said: First off, you have to be committed to your role. This includes wearing a turtleneck no matter what the weather conditions are, as well as proper turtleneck maintenance. For maximum effectiveness, only own a single turtleneck sweater.

are you suggesting that i either

a) never wash the turtleneck (as it will always be on me and wont ever have a chance to be washed properly)

b) wash the turtleneck while it is on me (im sure this is possible)

and also what should i do if i tear the turtleneck. i cant be seen as undesirable AND ragged. that just wont fit my style you know