#crypt's clips

[martyrbat]

pov: youre looking at the mini map to see who's right on your fucking ass in mario kart (150cc):

[VD: Batman looking confused (and slightly repelled) as he asks the Penguin, ‘Peach?’ A car immediately honks afterwards. END VD]

[martyrbat]

[VD: a screen recording of someone playing the game Batman: Dark Tomorrow. In it, Batman is getting his shit fucked up by nonstop explosions. A car first explodes near him, causing Batman to collapse on his back as the player rapidly switches through items to get to a medical kit. Batman stands and the player repair's their low health and switches their tools again to now be holding a bat-cable. They try shooting it to escape just to have an explosion happen right next to them again. Batman crashes into the ground again—the head of character model clipping through a brick wall as the player once again has to switch tools to be holding a medical pack. Six explosions happen as Batman keeps trying to stand up, all while being relentlessly shot at from off screen. Finally he escapes and cowards behind a wall, where he then blocks his head as another (off screen) explosion happens. END VD]

[martyrbat]

batman (1966) S1E03

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT: the Batmobile pulling into the Batcave. Batman and Robin exits the vehicle and Robin immediately calls out, “Alfred!” We're shown Alfred more in a close-up and it's revealed he's casually hand vacuuming on top of a nuclear reactor (which has a warning sign to keep off and that the atomic pile is super high, high voltage). He questions, “Sir?” Robin shouts, “Be careful!” which causes Alfred to dismiss, “Not to worry, Master Robin. The safety lock is operative,” before continuing to vacuum. The camera pans to reveal the blinking green sign that says, ‘safety lock set’. END TRANSCRIPT]

[martyrbat]

[VD: a screen recording of someone playing the game Batman: Dark Tomorrow. In it, Batman is crouched over a criminal as no music plays. He stands up and his steps makes a little scuttle sound effect as walks down the sewers. He starts to round a corner just for a hidden criminal to fucking jumpscare us in suddenly screaming out, “WAH! The Batman!” Batman immediately punches him unconscious before their sound clip can finish playing as the music starts back up. Batman crouches to handcuff them but another criminal swiftly approaches and kicks the vigilante before he can finish. END VD]

[martyrbat]

batman: the animated series S2E01

[VD: an exterior shot of a house in Gotham City at night. One side is pristine, with crisp white paint and clean windows. The other side is decrepit, the windows bordered up as the building itself looks rusty and like it's falling apart. Inside, Bruce Wayne is shown in his Matches Malone disguise and is unconscious on the floor after being electrocuted for sneaking in through a window. In the foreground we can see a man's shoes as he sarcastically announces, “It appears we have a prowler!” His voice is low and growled as his henchman flips Bruce over so he's laying on his back.

Bruce groans lowly as the goon slaps him twice to wake him up. He's hoisted up on his feet and then is roughly turnt around to face the shadows, where the mystery man is standing with his arms crossed. He asks, “Who are you? What are you doing here?” Bruce stutters his explanation in a fake voice as he rubs his head, “I'm Matches Malone. Heard bout a new mob. Thought I could make some more dough…” The man steps closer and jeers, “Is that so?” He walks away as Bruce watches him. The man flips a coin once with one hand as he continues, “Well, you heard right. In fact, you can double your take on the jobs we’re pulling... Assuming I let you live to join my gang!” He dramatically steps out of the shadows, revealing to only Bruce's surprise that it's Harvey Dent!

Bruce gasps slightly and stares at Harvey in shock as Two-Face steps closer to him. He sneers, “Matches Malone, huh? Never heard of ya. But theres something about you that I don't like.” He jabs his finger against Bruce's chest as he goads, “Nothing that I can put my finger on but I trust my hunches. Kinda like a second sight, y'know?” He pulls out his coin and states the stakes, “Good heads you live, bad heads you don't. Simple, huh?” Behind Bruce, the goon cocks his gun as Harvey flips his coin. Bruce stares wide-eyed as Harvey looks at him with an impassive expression. The coin lands in Harvey's palm—the scarred side facing up. Bruce looks down at it with that same appalled expression before looking over his shoulder—where the gun is already being raised to bluntly hit his head with the muzzle of it. We hear Bruce's pained grunt as the scene cuts back to the exterior. END VD]

[martyrbat]

batman: the animated series S1E11

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT: A crowd of people are circled around the mayor's son's birthday cake. A woman falsely announces it's a sparkler candle when it's actually a bomb placed there by the Joker – who's disguised as an entertainment clown named Jekko. He tells the crowd to keep looking at the cake and he'll go find the child. The mayor is standing near his house and is talking to Bruce Wayne – who's holding a large present. He tells Bruce, "I don't know where Jordan could have gone, he was dying to see you..." He awkwardly laughs and excuses his son's disappearance by saying, "you know kids." Bruce responds, "Not really." Jekko the Clown runs up and says, "So long mayor, I gotta go. But I left them with a bang!" and laughs as he runs away. Bruce frowns and murmurs to himself, "that laugh," recognizing it as the Joker's. The mayor mumbles, "Good riddance Jerk-O." END TRANSCRIPT]

[martyrbat]

superman: star of bangalore

superman loving ice skating in this audio story is so important to me... do you think the tessa virtue 2018 roxanne performance changed his life....

TRANSCRIPT:

Clark (voice over): The icearama was being presented at the Metropolis Coliseum. Lois and I got a couple of press passes and were pleasantly surprised after we sat down. It was a big extravaganza on ice! Featuring the best ice skating dancers and acrobats in show business, and a variety of musical numbers. The production was top flight, the music tuneful, the girls beautiful—and the colorful costumes glittered and sparkled under the spotlights!

Lois: I've never seen such skating!

Clark: You haven't seen me yet.

Lois: I bet.

Lois: Maybe this show will bail Newton out.

Clark: Maybe.

Lois: The costumes are stunning, aren't they?

Clark: Uh-huh!

Lois: Look at that!

Clark: It's called a full axile!

Lois: How do you know so much?

Clark: Haha, I told you—I do a little skating myself!

Lois: You'll have to show me sometime.

[martyrbat]

batman: the animated series S1E23

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT: a clip of Bruce Wayne undercover as an average blue-collar worker. His hair is dyed silver and he has a five o'clock shadow. He's walking through an alleyway when a black cat emerges from a metal trash can, knocking over the lid before jumping down and meowing at Bruce. Bruce smiles at it as two criminals walk out through the fog behind him. Bruce turns to them. One asks if he's looking for a job and Bruce, in a gruff voice and fake accent, says, "Maybe. What kind of job?" The second criminal says, "Oh, you'll like it. It's long-term employment," before the other tries to punch Bruce.

Bruce easily side steps the attempted punch and trips him, sending him stumbling and falling onto the ground in a pile of cardboard boxes and trash. The second criminal swings at Bruce but he easily ducks to dodge it and kicks the man in the stomach. Bruce's hands are casually in his coat pockets as he side steps two more attempted punches, causing the criminal to punch through the wooden crates that are behind Bruce's head instead. Irritated and in pain, he attempts to headbutt Bruce but he simply steps out of the way - sending the man falling down into the crates and knocking himself out.

The cat suddenly meows again and gains Bruce's attention. He fondly watches it hop up on a wooden fence as the first criminal sneaks up behind him. Bruce smiles again at the cat and goes to start walking but then gets hit in the head with a piece of wood. It sends him to the ground with a pained groan as the cat screeches and jumps off the fence on the other side. We focus on Bruce's unconscious body as the criminal stands over it and the video ends. END TRANSCRIPT]