thinking about shockwave transformers and [Crack Baby - mitski]
he makes me. sofucking ill. first. the reason i associate the song with him the most;
these lyrics. these fucking. these lyrics. in refrence his emotions. his passion his love his hope.
(orion was his hope once.)
shockwave. senator shockwave. was so many things. but more than anything he was someone who wanted better. he wanted a better bench without a broken fucking leg in his garden he wanted a better senate he wanted a better world for his people.
and they took that from him. the senate looked at him looked at his hope and they took it. they took his face. (he had always been proud of his appearance. he would frequently change his paint and kibble. he liked looking pretty) and replaced it with a single eye, they took his hands, and gave him a gun and claws. for destruction- not the rebuilding he wanted for the world.
(blank open eues, one emotionless optic thag cant really 'close')
he was so many things and now all that is left is a holllow void where those things were and its like- do you think he knows. do you think he looks at cybertron. at optimus. recalls his memories and knows he should feel something?
he doesnt, though. doesnt feel anything anymore. knows he should. knows he wouldve. almost knows what it used to feel like the feeling in his chest the butterflies in his stomach but its all. gone.
he had it once. knows he should have it knows hes become something so far from what he once was knows that past him would hate the current him. knows he used to love.
he looks at those things. at the people he used to care about. at optimus. doesnt work, though. still empty still under the effects of that fucking surgery. still purple and one eyed and minus and arm and missing everything that once made him him
