Could you please tell us the jack barnes story i am on my hands and knees begging you
>people are getting a mystery illness in australia
>symptoms include muscle cramps, incredible pain, head and backache, nausea, vomiting, can last anywhere from 4 hours to two weeks
>also causes anxiety and dread so intense that people have begged doctors to kill them and get it over with
>use l33t data analysis skills to figure out time and location of most reported cases
>ocean currents change around the time of these cases
>implying something in the ocean causes lethal mystery agony disease
>sieve ocean trying to identify culprit
>me and my son arrive at beach in december
>what's that up against my dive goggles?
>it's him. the little invisible bastard
>lifeguard nearby sees a fish swimming unusually
>little bastard holding onto fish with one gangly tentacle
>these things won't survive a trip to a lab so i can't prove anything
>"it's okay daddy we'll get it next time"
>sting self with jellyfish
>sting son with jellyfish
>lifeguard also stings self with jellyfish
>mfw not a mystery illness anymore
>mfw i get a jellyfish named after me for my noble act of attempted murder-suicide