Younglings, SCRAM!!!!!!
Adults are talkin'!!!!!!
CURSES!!! VEXES!!!!! BAD LUCK EV'N!!!!!!
If I see you kids hangin' around these bloody dangerous blocks, your old FOLKS will get a mighty earful of you OGGLIN' on private mature matters. Ya heaar that? AN EARFUL!!!!!!
STOP TRESSPASSIN'
HOPES NOT GONNA BE THE ONLY THANG Y'ALL ABANDON ONCE YE ENTER HERE
DON'T IGNORE THE GIGANTIC RED SIGNS!
RETREAT!!! RETREAT I TELL YA!!!!
RETREAT!!!!!!!!
...
Bloody hell, swear to god, these fledgelings gotta quit forcin' maturity at some point. Many GOSH DARN THINGS under the sun to supply self's pastime and leisure with, yet they REEEALLY had t' bother the mighty few spaces where I can freely share my grievances and shit without worryin' for their safety... sighhhhh
Devil's gotta do them Devil's work...
Only the grown-ups here? Good.
Welcome to Eltingville Club or some shit. There used to be some long ass precursory introduction and initiation process thingy for anyone that's applyin', but c'mon now. No need to do that. It's just us talkin' here.
Don't mention I had let y'all through like this so easily to any of the other guys though. Specially Levy. That guy is a real stickler for documentations and followin' procedures.
Call me Monty. Full name? You a cop or somethin? Nah, just messin'. It is Monte-Verje Frayna Regulto ... I know, it's a gosh darn fuckin' mouthful, I swear if I had a nickel for everytime I hear that typa response- That's what you get for havin' a culture colonized exhaustively multiple times. Now, you gotta hoooonor a BUNCH of surnames from some unknown this and the other, that somehow got mixed into the bloodline. Yeah no I'm not originally from here. Family fled from the Philippines once martial law started happenin'. Could only keep wonderin' how that land's still holdin up to this point...
Oi....You sly fuckin' bastard! You made me talk too much about myself while only wielding your silence somehow. I swear, your presence will do GREATLY in like some extreme interrogation process. We tackled that kinda tactic in a class last weekend actually. Heh, yeah, studying criminal justice. Third year now and on my way to gettin that forensic arts job title babyyyy.
What do you mean all these shit's irrelevant to the club? I AM PART OF THE CLUB. I AM THE SECRETARY OF TOONS AND CRYPTID HUNTING. I'M THE ONLY ONE'S AVAILABLE HERE, SO OF COURSE I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT MYSELF! YOU'D RATHER ME IGNORE YOUR ASS INSTEAD AND BE APATHETIC TO YOUR PRESENCE YOU UNTHINKING, STINKING FUC-
Woaaaaaah woah WOAH... woah there- oh fuck, sounded too much like a real big Dickey for a second. Sorry, I'm really sorry, I'm mighty awful for explodin', anger issues speaking, my bad. I uhh yeah trust me, I'm actually... I'm actually a really chill, level-headed guy like uhh usually, I dunno why I sounded so gosh darn intense there-
This... this is somehow the perfect timing to segway to inform y'all 'bout the club activities. We actually have a scheduled time slot for visiting rage rooms. If I'm neurotic, god forbid you guys meeting the others heh just kidding, all those dorks are their own flavor of being lovable actually. You oughta just give em all some fair chance. Lotsa boundary establishin' and repetitive understandin' and comedic cycles of fights for dignity then forgiveness, but trust me, issalll worthit.
But uhh yeah, rage rooms, we do that, alongside adrenaline releasing stuff and karaoke sessions and general emotional releasin' and physical fitness stuff. People forget entertainment and self-care IS also a passion. If you're secretly self-loathing, I'll make sure you're gonna quit that shit, that's not a suggestion, that's a fuckin' threat START LOVIN' YOURSELF RIGHT FUCKIN NOW MATE!
Nah, I'm not angry this time. Just being performatively loud for the bit. Screaming's just so fun to me, you should try it more. Oh shoot, do let me know if you got volume issues tho, I'm kinda obligated to like inform the other guys bout every member's sensibilities.
OH FUCK ME IN THE ASS, GOING BACK TO THE CLUB ACTIVITIES TOPIC-
We all have our own schtick going on, you're bound to eventually latch on an interest that exactly suits your fancy.
Jerry's the fantasy guy. Heard about Magic the Gathering and DND? Yeah, he's quite famous in the community actually. Don't be intimidated though, he's approachable. Quite a perfect introductory guide actually. Trust me, his sessions are really beginner friendly. Jer prioritizes the storytelling and roleplaying side of things over the complicated numbers and stats. Once you got a solid grasp on how the gameplays work though, you gain like a whole 'nother appreciation for the stuff.
Josh got the extensive knowledge for all things Sci-fi, I could actually show you his blogs and YouTube channel later. He kinda do those hours long restrospective videos, as well as iceberg dives and pinpointing small, interconnecting details. He's quite articulated with his recommendations and if you already have a knack for all things techy and expanding fictional worlds and societal aspects, you two will heavily get along.
Pete might be a familiar face if you frequent in Fangoria. Yeah, no, that is the same guy on the picture frame there. The most annoying grin that is just oh so punchable...
...
Y'know, he kinda got the biggest ego here that needs to be knocked down a peg or two.
Oh no, I'm not downplaying his accomplishments. As his spouse, I'll always be proud of how far he had come with like his skills and prosthetics and practical effects and yada yada affirmations but COME ON. That asshole keeps getting too fucking generous with overworking details on his projects! Watch him aaaallllways go back home too late at night. Guess who had to deal with his loud ass snores, you'd mistake that loud shit for some grating chainsaw in a campy horror flick. YEAH ME, DUH, NO BRAINER! Please, for the love of fuck and my sanity, refrain from complimenting that bastard. He's already unbearable as he is, don't further inflate his agonizingly erected ego-
Yeesh got too personal there- shit should I had just read the script in the first place? Scratch all the trash I'd said uhh Pete. Secretary of spooky stuffs. Classic horror movie binges as well as costume design and monster concept activities. He does free workshops actually, teaches like anyone's interested workin' in the horror industry. I'll grab you the details in case you're interested.
Bill's got all kinds of comics your heart could ever hope for. Yeah, the big shop around the corner, that's his establishment. Kinda wild to say that out loud, knowing the place used to be Big Joe's. Ya askin who Big Joe is? Joe. Youre askin about Joe. I am an adult and I have self-restraint.
Ignore what I muttered there, to answer your question, Joe Gargagliano's some old fuck who got sent to prison after assaulting a cop. Bastard thought he could collect some insurance if he reattempts to burn the comic shop after like the initial incident. Said initial incident may or may not involve the Eltingville Club itself, I am not legally obligated to tell you everything. If you wanna know the whole truth, ask Bill.
Oh yeah, we're talking about Bill. He actually ends up gettin' 'nough funds to own the property.
In true spirit of Eltingville Club, the place got repurposed into a variety store. All types of interests are welcome there, not just comics. In case you got any kiddos, you can take them to the place. There's a designated activity room for them. Meanwhile us old fucks can hang out, do tabletops and clink soms drinks right on the other side.
What's with that stare, you got nothing to worry about. Bill runs a highly integrated business. Besides, his partners Jerry and Mandi alternatively takes charge on monitoring the youngins. Of all people in this planet, trust my word when I say it's the Eltingville Club pioneers who'd never underestimate the chaotically destructive tendencies of teens. Oh the many tales you gotta catch up on.
Hmm? You doing okay? You kinda have this sort of an overwhelmed expression in your face...
Look, you shouldn't feel like any type of pressure. Really. This club's all about having good fun. If you're feeling like any sort of arising inferiority complex or competitiveness, snuff that flame down. Been in that headspace. There's like nothing good that comes out with entertaining that sort of thinking pattern, it's like a pointless ouroboros of vitriolic loathing. Feedin' hate with more hate. Your initial reaction with hearing 'bout other's success shouldn't be envy. It should inspiration. Aspiration even.
I'm actually a no-namer myself, you know. If I strip myself down to the barest description, like some impartial game stat narrator, I'm basically just some undergrad student, workin as a bouncer to make ends meet. But see, I vehemently reject meritocracy. Your worth as a person isn't defined by some arbitrary labels or titles or achievements.
Now, don't get my nutsacks twisted. I am not saying to give up on your resolution altogether, that's quite bleak. If you got a thing in mind you're targetin' to have for yourself, claim that shit, work your way up there.
With that said, learnin' to be content with yourself is also an important skill, you know? Focus less on lookin' at the empty space you don't have, shift your view to the lotta stuffs you already got with you.
That's why I personally don't believe in the concept of "having no personality". That's a silly goose talk.
New members often confide how they feel unworthy of their titles. Reasoning goes along the lines of "but there's already a Secretary for that!"
And? That's a'ight!
It's a broad genre, you simply hadn't pinpointed your niche. It's absolutely okay to have multiple adorers of the same thing. Absolutely no shame, no matter what number comes after your title. You're always worthy of it.
Feeling conscious you don't know that much? Learn. Expand your horizon. Just be earnest on exploring stuffs and hearing out what others got to say. Never forget to respect dignity and ideas, however far it may differ from yours. You'll never grow if you're so closed off with your views of what's good, what's bad. What's the best and what's the worst. Eventually, you'll have a collection of different perspectives that will refine your own.
When you reached at that point, you'll find yourself really attuned to seeing the nuance in any topic there ever is, no matter the genre. And even if you're not particularly heavily opinionated, there's still value from your presence. Appreciation doesn't always have to be expressed verbally after all. Sometimes, revisiting the stuff with good friends is enough. The club's never meant for pointless arguments.
Isn't this supposed to be about having fun?
...
I think I uhhh... I think I had said everythin' that needs to be said. At least I hope I've properly like uhh informed you with all the important stuffs. Literally, just approach me or any of the other members if you got any questions anytime. No one's gonna chuck an axe at your skull just for an ask.
We already outgrew our pettiness long ago.
Oh yeah, one last thing
Welcome to Eltingville Club.
Anything and Everything Eltingville will be here.
Feel free to interact if not a minor
Feel free to ask any questions in regards to Mont, The Eltingville Club members in this au, The Eltingville Club in my canon-compliant takes, my general insights in and out of character, favorite toons, most fond cryptid lore, the specific shade of color of Epilogue Pete's hoodie (HEX: #463E65 , CLOSEST PANTONE: 5265 , CHROMATIC PAINT: VIOLET-TOURACO DORVAL, RAL: EVENING MAUVE), basically ANYTHING and everything you can think of, it's all mighty welcome here
Feel free to request fanart or doodle ideas (fellow Eltingville oc/sona havers, flock to my submission box!)
I'm mostly good with starting and giving prompts and concepts but horrendously bad at following through (slow artist/writer combo blerghhh). Feel free to take any of my stuffs and writings and sketches here and do your own spin. I absolutely welcome additional, expansive spin-offs, rewrites, redraws, fanarts and allll that good shyde. Take this also as an invitation if you want me to do art trades, voice acts, world building expansion, and collabs with you! I love gathering more Eltingville moots!!!!
Who the fuck is @unreone ? Sounds like some kind of ancient, rotting hag that's been hiding inside a cave for far too long.