#tw unreality

[mildly-inconvenient-plur-is]

uhhh hoping you still do/have ever done anon tags because the anon tags part of the intro post is just like gone and not even in the reblogs or anything and now i'm genuinely convinced i hallucinated it all but uh (minor unreality/derealisation tw -jamie)

mildly inconvenient plural is jamie has been alive for like. not even twenty four hours and already jamie has decided that pronouns = death and also that we needed to stay up all night. i haven't slept in over twenty-four hours. what is real anymore. did i fabricate anon tags. did i hallucinate taking our dog to the vet. did i take our meds. evidently i didn't take our meds because then i would be even more derealised which is why we don't take our meds, says Somebody. did i hear that or am i making it up? was Somebody Me or was Somebody Somebody? what's that shape at the end of the hallway? is it your hair or is someone there?

yeah so uh communication has destablised heaven is in shambles and i need sleep

(looking back on this it miiight need a unreality/derealisation tag nothing feels real any more why do my hands look like that what happened to them-)

rift devolved into panic so now i, jamie, am here signing off. -⚠📦

we have never really done anon tags on this blog...

anyways I hope you'll get a very good night's sleep soon because one it's good two sleep deprivation can cause psychotic symptoms -Siren

[nessposting]

had a really fucked up dream where there was a hole in my side and i could see the inside of me through it and it was lined with blood and pus and shit and also like half of the inside was rotting and it kept getting bigger and i didn't know what to do about it and for some reason i was hiding it ? nobody can know about my gaping wound i guess. also it didn't hurt like it should considering it was a hole in my side it only hurt when i pressed on it or touched the edges and it fucking stung. i didn't touch the inside but i knew it'd hurt the same if i did. actually wait that's a lie i stuck my hand in a few times to try and pull the rot out but there was so much of it that i wouldn't be able to get rid of it without disemboweling myself so i gave up. and then i woke up and cause aside from the hole my dream was just my normal life i didn't realise i'd woken up and spent a while laying there thinking "fuck man what am i gonna do about the hole"

[tw1st-th3-knif3]

I feel like a passenger in my own life

[tw1st-th3-knif3]

Really big episode ok #derealization

[advertisement-archive]

I did flag this one because it had me genuinely distressed over whether or not I was alive as a person prone to delusions and intrusive thoughts

[the-mind-complex]

Cease with asking more information about me. Even beyond following the tenets of internet safety, I owe no more information of myself to the lot of you strangers.

Cease.

[cat-found-in-an-allie]

Uhm, tw for bugs, unreality, and self destructive thoughts again. Anyway, storytelling time!

Sometime around 2019, maybe early 2020, I got really into SCP's. Specifically, those YouTube videos where they'd animate and read out the story/file on an SCP. So, sometime during that I came across SCP-150. For ease of speaking, I'll just call it the bug SCP. Anyway, I was terrified of getting infected off the thing, of turning into a bug-person (Gregor Samsa who? Sorry, I havent quite read the book yet).

One of the trademarks of a person infect with the bug SCP is that they would be unfazed by it, or even react positively to it. So, every time I got a little too scared of being filled with bugs, I'd say to myself, "if I was ever slowly turning into a bug, I'd cut my arm off. Or kill myself." That's paraphrased, obviously, but I thought something similar.

Much more recently, I'd say, 2025, 2024, maybe, I had a horrible dream. For I think holiday homework, I had to cultivate worms or maggots. Now, these maggots got out, or maybe they were supposed to be, so they crawled into the my knuckles. I was greatly distressed by this, of course, but no one would help me. The only thing that saved me was waking up.

Of course, now we have the brain worms. My repeated reference to my veins and intestines as worms. But for those, I'm quite aware of my reals and unreals.

[cheapsoda-angel]

╭ •

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁‧ ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)

|- ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇʟʏ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴏꜰꜰ

| ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ.

|- ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ

| ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ.

|- ᴀꜱ ɪꜰ ᴡʜᴇɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɪ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ,

| ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟꜱᴇ'ꜱ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ

| ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ.

|- ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴏɴʟʏ ʜᴇᴀʀ

| ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ.

|- ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ʜᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏᴡɴ

| ꜱᴄʀɪᴘᴛ, ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ

| ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ.

|- ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ꜱᴄʀɪᴘᴛ,

| ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ

| ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ.

|- ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡꜱ

| ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ.

|- ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ.

| ⤷ ᴇɴᴅ ʟᴏɢ.

╰ [Plain text below the cut]

I feel completely cut off from the rest of the world.

Nobody listens to what I have to say.

It's as if whenever I try to talk, someone else's voice covers my own.

People will only hear what they want to.

Everybody has their own script, they're all a part of their own movie.

I didn't get a script, I don't know what's going on.

And everyone knows something I don't.

I'm scared.

End log.