As you all may or may not know, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder at the age of fourteen, although I was struggling with it for far longer without ever knowing its name. I hated myself. A lot of times I still do. I often feel worthless, pathetic, like a burden to all of my friends and family, like a failure. It is difficult for me to accept positive things about myself, and although I have been getting better with time, the low moods that will happen without reason still come, and at times, they can be very intense.
Just the other day, for the first time in a few years, I felt a truly suicidal urge. Gabby was there to help me through it. She has always been there for me whenever I have been in a low mood. She does not think much of herself, even though she is kind, sweet, brilliant, loving, empathetic, talented, funny, and just an amazing person to be around. She never feels like she does enough for others, like she is a burden as well. I know that is not true, but I understand her feeling, after all. And it is through that understanding that I found an amazing friend who also understands me.
I do not feel like I do enough for her, considering all she has done for me. Or for any of my other friends for that matter. Someday, I will address all of you. For now, though, I feel she needs to be addressed, for she has changed my life for the better. Never have I been more productive or confident. And I know that all of you who know her can lend truth to my words, on how amazing of a person she is.
This poem is for you, Gabby.
Thank you for everything. Truly. I hope you like it.
I was born ill,
Though no one could see,
It grew on the shadows,
Inside of me,
With gore-imbued fangs,
It tore at my heart,
Wounded and bleeding,
Before its beating could start,
A winter so deep,
The sun would not appear,
The wind howling so loudly,
My own words I could not hear,
Let alone those of angels,
Or their gentle wing-beats,
Like raindrops they fell,
And shattered upon me,
From shadows and light she strode,
Another wounded soul,
A kindly heart scarred, like mine,
Yet she made me feel whole,
To cure her searing pain,
I would take it as my own,
She seemed to wish the same,
As she told me "You're not alone".
With every laugh and smile shared,
The darkness is held at bay,
Although it shall ever return,
Never can it stay,
So long as I have her here,
The guardian at my side,
I will have the strength to fight back,
To strike at the disease, turn the tide,
And for her, I hope to lend that strength,
For the sorrow she endured,
Yet here I shall be forevermore,
Of that she can rest assured,
Gabby asked me to write a sci-fi piece! Her desire was to see how I wrote in a setting that I did not do as often. I'm not sure if I am proud of it or not, but I managed to get it to a conclusion! It is...very long, as a warning. I may write in this setting again with Frigid Tides, we shall see.
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The city was alive with surging crowds and radiant advertisements. Body changes and alterations, skin dyes, back-up insurance in case of an unfortunate death, and simple adverts for food and drink. Eyes were as drawn to them as they were pushed away, each individual convinced that they were the savviest consumer in the city. Yet most of the attention was drawn to an artificially constructed park, where two people of high status were to be married.
Massive androids, little more than artillery with legs, trudged about the park's perimeter, while men in riot gear made certain unwelcome masses did not push their way into the privileged area. A small, but refined number of guests sat in digi-structed leather seats, chattering amongst each other as the bride and groom presumably finished their preparations. An ivory fountain made to resemble an angel hiding herself with her wings, sat just behind the bridal stage, the water flowing from it constantly shifting in color as the lights passed through it.
This distraction was welcome to Frigid Tides, as he slithered in the dark corners of the cityscape. The giant cephalopod drew enough attention for being an enlightened, let alone the fact that he was equipped to take on a small army. The octopus' body-armor blended with changing texture and environment as easily as his own skin, so it was little trouble to sneak past these humans. Even with their enhanced senses and specialized shells, they were still unobservant apes. Were things like they had once been, when the Hunt was all that mattered, he was certain they would not be the dominant species. Even as he thought, however, he flowed, climbing up along the side of the building that would serve as his vantage point. According to his preliminary research, the first thirty floors were simply offices. Past that, the complex would contain only the best of his target's beloved's private army, on the lookout for someone like him.
It took him some time, but eventually, he reached the thirty-first floor, immediately noticing a slight change in color along strategic spots on the sides of the building. Frigid Tides' eyes were much more adept at picking up such details. Perhaps it would have fooled any other, but he knew the anti-personnel devices when he saw them. Not unlike a claymore mine, if anything in a twenty meter radius tripped the device, an very precise cone of super-heated blades would be launched in their direction. More than enough to make a gory paste the more 'special ops' shells employed by the military groups in this system, all without damaging the building, due to the shaped blast. There were too many to move around, and unfortunately, he had seen no ventilation shafts anywhere thus far. A window entrance was needed.
For him, peering into a window did not even require him to move. Three-hundred and sixty degrees of vision was quite advantageous, he simply had to shift adjacent to one to see the layout of the room. Plain white walls and cubicles, with motivational propaganda posters, a monument to the attempted normalization of human wage-slavery. He spotted five guards in combat-capable shells, black and orange body-armor with full helmets, reinforced visors protecting and hiding their faces simultaneously, and it was a given that they were all equipped with communication gear, too. They were armed with assault-rifles, and no doubt had specialized ammunition for different targets. A single tentacle began to weave its way under the window.
That was when he saw something approach accompanied by an uncomfortable whirring noise, and froze, flattening himself as much as possible.
Barely perceptible, the drone refracted light as it approached him. His adrenaline began to kick in, fight-or-flight attempting to override his calculating sense of control. He knew it had detected movement, but he was not compromised just yet. Coruscating light emanated from its sensors as it began to scan him over. He waited patiently as it analyzed, trying to peel away camouflage and detect the nature of creature that had intruded. Before it could confirm, his tentacle rose up from beneath, its tip honed to a blade-like sharpness as he pierced through its armor plating, destroying the drone and its sensors in one swift action.
Humans also programmed their drones with the same faults as they had, it seemed.
With the same fluid grace, he smashed the window with that same appendage, knowing that the soldiers inside would have heard him doing away with their drone, a second tentacle deployed an EMP grenade in the same breath, and before the soldiers could even react, a wave of electromagnetic interference shorted out their in-suit radios. Frigid Tides knew full-well that EMP was useless against much else but that these days, but the soldiers not being able to sound-off was enough for him. A third tentacle produced a silenced SMG as his other tentacles swung him through the window. Despite their enhanced reflexes, the soldiers did not even manage to get a shot off before five shots flew with flawless accuracy. The bullets squashed against their visors before letting out a blast of force and shrapnel that sprayed armor, skull, and brain matter alike in a cone behind them, leaving only a bloody stump behind. They almost seemed to fall in unison, but Frigid Tides was moving before they even hit the ground, noting the vent in the ceiling. He quickly adhered to the tiles above and gently worked it off before sliding into the shaft, replacing the grating and securing it back into place.
The shaft would have been far too cramped for even the most flexible human, but he had no fragile bones to slow him down. He expected more unpleasant surprises, but it seemed they had neglected to provide any real security measures in the ventilation. Typically, it was anything but an ideal route for an aspiring infiltrator, something for the movies to exaggerate. It seems they were rather ill-prepared for an octopus, which was rather strange, considering his target...
He could not linger on such a pointless thought, however. He had pressing matters to attend to. No doubt the lovers would be finished with their preparations, the sham of a wedding to begin thereafter. He had a small window of opportunity to eliminate his targets. A very special gift was given to him to make certain it was permanent. Assassination had become a sight more difficult when a person could be transferred to a different shell long after their current one had expired one way or another. Granted, losing years of your life because your last backup was outdated was typically enough mental shock to put most into a permanent state of insanity. The extreme neo-buddhists were truthfully the easiest targets, as they staunchly refused to allow their "souls" to be kept from the cycle.
Such a pathetic belief.
He ascended the vent to its apex. Granted, he could have taken it to the roof, but the purification systems and fans were too large of a detriment. Disabling and disassembling them would take longer than the alternate, and he did not have time to spare. Light hit his azure eyes as he peered from the shadow. Three soldiers, two heavy assault soldiers in powered armor, and a combat automaton with a cybernetic brain installed, meaning that although the machine was just that, its mind was a human. That made it far more dangerous than any drone, he knew. He began calculating the layout of the room, every corner, every blind-spot, every place that could possibly conceal a trap or an ambush. He pressed himself against the grating, tensing as his mind focused. A soldier was drawing closer...and closer...
And when he stepped just under the vent, Frigid Tides shoved the vent directly at his target, one of the more distant power-armored soldiers. It was obviously unable to harm him in any real sense, but the distraction was enough for massive octopus to throw himself at the soldier, wrapping his tentacles around his body. He twisted the soldiers arms back until he heard two satisfying snaps the trickle of blood from between the armor letting him know that he also had the pleasure of ripping of his flesh as well. He positioned his beak in the small of his hostage's back, where he could easily work it into the gap where his body armor and lower armor met.
As expected of humans when another of their kind was in danger, they hesitated, their rifles were trained, and already Frigid Tides had slid another EMP grenade along the ground with his lowest tentacle, setting off in unison of his SMG firing off two shots and killing the regular soldiers in a glorious eruption of gore. The elites and the combat shell snapped out of their misplaced concern. The hostage was already dead as far as they had seen. They barked orders at each other now that their radio communication was broken, and he already could see that the two elites were moving to flank him from behind while the biggest available threat kept him distracted. He flicked a button on his SMG, and the whirring notifying him the ammunition was changing. The moment it was set, he left fly a flurry of auto-fire on the elite to his left, swinging his hostage around to absorb the fire of the one on his right. The new ammunition flickered with a strange bluish radiance as it penetrated through the powered armor as though it were wet paper, perfectly cauterized wounds left behind as the elite gurgled his last meaningless words.
His hostage absorbed the fire from the remaining elite as the combat shell began to unload its payload, anti-personnel machine-guns that easily would have reduced him and his hostage to a bloody mist.
Fortunately, it still tried to preserve the life of its ally, and aimed towards the exposed portions of the cephalopod. He threw his weight backwards, slicing the throat of the soldier with his envenomed tentacle-based blade, ensuring a quick, painful death. More of the hyper-heated bullets flew from his SMG at the remaining elite, driving him to the ground before he could fire another burst.
The combat shell was quick to adjust its aim, and Frigid Tides' body suit along with his sub-dermal armor made a dangerous glancing blow into less worrisome, but no less painful injury. He quickly slithered towards the mechanical behemoth, and it reacted with surprising alacrity for its bulk, switching to its close-range heated blade. The octopus could feel the searing radiance as it just barely missed the front of his mantle. The drone quickly tried to limit Frigid Tides' range of motion, stomping in front of areas he as dodging towards and doing its best to herd him into the blades' path. After a few more swings, Frigid Tides found the opening he desired. An overhead swing that was a bit too close for comfort drove the upper body of the shell down, allowing the octopus to slither up it. Its frontal armor was too thick for anything but his rifle, and he certainly did not have time to fire off a shot in these close of quarters.
Instead, he opted to attack more directly, violently prying off the safety measures of the automaton that prevented unwanted access to its organic brain. A few well placed shots disabled the counter-measures, causing the chassis to hiss open reluctantly. He felt the crushing grip of the robot about his tentacles, he was thankful that he had no bones, or else the pain might have been a problem. Before it could pull him off, the assassin enveloped its brain's casing, and the titan's violent attempt at removing him, combined with Frigid Tides' death-grip tore the wiring and safety-arms apart. The shell went immobile. Briefly observing the brain casing for a moment, the octopus simply rolled it to a corner of the room before moving on.
The final ascent was eventless, the roof of the massive building was unoccupied, putting Frigid Tides into a state of caution. His eyes were strangely drawn up, violet lightning dancing within black clouds. Emerald raindrops fell against the tessellated orange barrier above, and from this height, he could see how desolate this world was outside of the city walls. Cracked grey plains with fetid green ponds, acrid fumes seeping from oozing sores in the earth. Every so often, a geyser of the sickening liquid would erupt from a gurgling wound upon the stone, the ground about them was almost a pearl-like color from the erosion. This planet was sick.
He was eager to leave it.
He removed something that seemed to be a grey rectangle from his back with countless grooves and muted lights. A single squeeze caused it to begin to take a more complex shape, a stock and barrel extending from the front as a scope emerged from the top. In mere seconds, the simple block transformed into a deadly sniper-rifle. Although it was already loaded with ammunition, he popped out the clip and tossed out a single shell, producing something from one of his packs that emitted a deadly radiance. Two bullets, churning with a violet-blue energy rested in his tentacle. His gaze lingered on them for an uncharacteristic amount of time. Two bullets for two targets. He was normally to the letter on contracts, and never had the killing been personal. Just the only way he knew how to survive, the way he was built. This time, though...
He loaded a single bullet and put the other back into one of his armor's pouches. He was starting to feel the pain from his mantle-wound now that the adrenaline had worn off, but it was the last thing that concerned him. He rested the rifle on the rim of the roof, the smart scope beginning to feed information to his ocular implants with each sentient entity he scanned his sights over. Vitals, anatomical information, personal information, anything one could have possibly wanted to know about someone they were trying to kill. His aim centered on his first target.
Eugene Savaggio: Height-1.778 m, Weight-81.6466 kg, ego-gender: Male, CEO of Genetic Inspirations Corporation Outer Reach Branches, convicted of fraud, settled out of court. Current Shell: Socio-LOGIC Shell, male gendered, sub-dermal implants detected over vital organs. Emotional status: Calm.
Then the next...
Akemi Hariyama (Original Alias-Shifting Light): Height-1.5748 m, Weight-45.3592 kg, ego-gender: Female , Notable Member of the Galactic Association of Enlightened Integration, Founder of Eclectic Seas Museum of the Arts. No criminal record. Current Shell: Adaptive-Systems Siren for Enlightened Cephalopod Egos, female gendered. Emotional Status: Anxious.
The guests were blissfully unaware of the Hunter that lurked at the threshold, the streets were still busy, but calm. The signs flashed their insipid products, the monk babbled his uninspired platitudes, the two lovers wore smiles, but their eyes were cold and distant. He felt his pulse racing as he activated his drug-gland, and time seemed to slow to a crawl. Although deliberate, his movements were still quick and precise in comparison, by his perception, while all else was suspended in stillness. He fired the first shell at Eugene, the volatile energy contained within the bullet crackling outwards in ethereal streams that trailed behind it for a brief moment before dispersing. Before the bullet hit Eugene, he had trained his sights on the other.
He looked deeply into her eyes, empty and sad. They were once so vibrant and full of life. He felt a strange sensation welling up from within him as he remembered how his reflection looked in them. He felt his arms begin to shake, and the trigger felt as though it were locked into place. His skin began to flicker from blue, to green, to white, to blue again in an endless cycle as he gnashed his beak against the concrete. His aim was difficult to keep straight, his siphon letting out a hollow wheeze as he tightened his grip on the rifle.
"It must be done." he allowed himself to rasp forth.
Two more tentacles pressed down on the one wrapped about the trigger, and the second shot was fired, a normal shell flying forth towards Akemi. He did not even wait to confirm the kills. His whole body shook, and now his wound was beginning to truly trouble him. Time began to flow normally again as one of his arms slid beneath his mantle. His beak began to savage into it, taking off chunks and consuming them as he deconstructed his rifle, drawing out his SMG. He heard a wave of screams from far below as drones raced up the building's sides to meet him. He could already hear soldiers trudging up from the floors below. Even as he shot down the drones, he tore into himself, his remaining tentacles dragging him to one side of the building. He was forced to cease his action as he leapt to the next roof, small propulsers on his suit giving him the thrust needed to land on the other side.
He did not stop running, flowing from one building to the next, doing his best to draw closer to ground level, where it would be easier for him to become lost in the crowd and alleyways. For how long he ran, he could not say. He was far too exhausted to think beyond simple survival. Yet, in stark contrast to that very compulsion, he found himself moving to the square where the marriage was taking place. He avoided the artillery robots and police force as he drew ever closer, and surprisingly found the square empty. Carefully, he approached where the two to be wed once stood, thankful for the incompetence of the low-level law enforcement.
Eugene was not identifiable. He was but a pile of molten slag and melted organs, emitting a vile stench and a distinct violet smoke. He was irretrievable. Akemi, on the other hand, was mostly intact aside from the chunk missing from her chest. Her heart was burst, just as Frigid Tides had intended. His eyes were drawn to the gaping wound in his tentacle and Akemi simultaneously, a more fit tentacle gently taking her into his other six. Her eyes reflected nothing now.
He gingerly sliced open the back of her head, digging out useless muscle and carving through bone. Tenderly, he disconnected her brain-case, truly studying it as he moved away. It was strange to think that this was what he felt connected to, the shell just an intermediary for his own mind's benefit. It was a fitting over the brain, with hundreds of metallic connecting ports. A sickly yellow fluid sloshed about as he moved, the brain itself layered in a thin membrane with countless little lines identifying each wrinkle and coil, and what it should be connected to. A little CPU was attached to the right cerebral hemisphere, constantly storing data and backing up thoughts.
He had no more time to linger here, however. He activated his comm and sent out a message.
"Hunter. Targets eliminated, heading towards evacuation point. ETA three minutes. Be ready." his wheezing, eerie voice poured forth. The voice of a younger man answered him back.
"Confirmed, Hunter. Ready for extraction." he responded, a bit of unease evident in his voice.
He laid the final bullet meant for use on Akemi beside her body. Once he was a safe distance, he fired a single shot at the casing, breaking it open and causing a tide of purple energy to spill forth. In a chaotic amalgamation of hissing, crackling, and smoking, Akemi now matched her husband-to-be. The octopus could not help but curse his ability to see in three-hundred and sixty degrees...
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The shuttle ride was silent, this human go-between constantly shifting nervously and making poor attempts at conversation that Frigid Tides utterly ignored. The man's face paled, but he shook it from his mind as he took the assassin to his destination. The city was in chaos, but Frigid Tides' employers were well-prepared. The shuttles' stealth systems were immaculate, technology that was far ahead of this planet's scanners. He focused on the void beside him, millions of dead eyes watching him from an immeasurable distance. The strange feeling was welling in his chest as they neared the pitch-black space station, designed to look like some deep-sea monstrosity. Four cold eye-like windows denoted the control-center, tendrils holding semi-circular tunnels in strange arrangements, communication antennae like spines jutting out from every which way. The docking bay, not unlike a gaping maw, yawned open to accept the shuttle, barring closed behind them as its two occupants exited.
The interior was as alien as the exterior. There was no artificial gravity, control stations were arranged upon walls and ceilings just a much as they were on floors. There were no windows, just dim blue eye-shaped lights socketed into the walls every so often. All of the angles were smooth and curved, and the doors were clearly designed for eight-armed entities in mind. The human seemed quite uncomfortable as his every breath let out a plume of frost, but Frigid Tides felt no such discomfort. He simply nodded in thanks to the pilot, and began to jet himself down the corridors.
In time, he found himself in his employers' personal quarters, a simple spherical room, filled entirely with saltwater. He squeezed into a small opening, before being shot out into the water, quickly attaching himself to the side of the room as three other octopuses shed their camouflage to address him.
"Caused a bit of a stir, Frigid Tides" the first remarked coldly, his voice echoing in Frigid Tides' head. Attached to the bottom of the room, of the three, he was the largest, his base coloring a pale grey. Orange-red eyes regarded the assassin without emotion.
"And you look a bit injured, my dear." the second, a female, followed up, "A bit distracted, perhaps?" she chuckled. Attached to the top of the room, she looked down upon him with jade eyes, her mantle a muted, deep violet.
"Your payment has already been transferred to your account, Frigid Tides. You have done a great thing for the Enlightened of the galaxy, whether they accept it or not. I assume you are ready for your next task?" the final male asked expectantly. Wrapped about an orb in the center of the room, his white eyes were affixed in a black mantle, his body replete with scars.
"No" Frigid Tides uttered tersely, "This one does not desire monentary compensation. This one desires a different payment."
All three hesitated, but the female and smaller male both chuckled while the largest flickered red momentarily.
"A different payment? That is certainly a strange request, my friend. Do tell, perhaps I will find it a reasonable substitute." the center-male said in a bemused tone.
Frigid Tides hesitated.
"I wish for the memory of Hariyama Akemi to be wiped, and for her brain-casing to be kept in my possession." he finally allowed himself to say.
"Fool." the largest male growled, "You were to eliminate them both completely. This is unacceptable."
"Calm yourself, Grey Abyss." the female chastised, "The true target was that dullard of a CEO either way. Poor Akemi just put herself in the cross-hairs is all." she swam down closer to her employee, "You disposed of the shell properly, I assume?"
"...I did."
"Then there is nothing to be worried about. Your special orders were not wasted, Grey Abyss." the lead male half-sang, "I will gladly bestow this upon you, Frigid Tides. Such a troublesome thing, memories, yes?"
Frigid Tides remained silent, more focused on his gnawed tentacle than the words of his patrons.
"Then let it be done." Grey Abyss rumbled, "There is still much to do."
The three swam over to Frigid Tides, guiding him to the far back of the orb. Cylindrical halls passed, spiraling tubes, none caught the eyes of Frigid Tides as the three took him to a room typically intended for less-than-welcome guests and assets to the three octopuses.
The room contained the largest contrast of darkness and light in the ship. A brilliant floodlight shone down on a hideous metal device, pushing the darkness into a foreboding sphere all about it. Wires, like sickly tendrils, flowed from the bottom of the machine, connected to unseen devices. A simple, flat metal slab with restraints was the centerpiece of the machine, a nautaloid-like dome looming just above. It whirred ominously as Frigid Tides allowed himself to be restrained. Grey Abyss fiddled with buttons on the control panel, and then, for Frigid Tides, all was darkness.
He heard the sound of metal spinning before his mantle was pierced. The restraints tightened as four-pronged claws gripped either of his eyes. Clearly the machine was not intended for non-human occupants, for it did nothing to restrict his vision as crimson light flared to life. He felt searing agony, his body convulsed as disjointed visions coalesced before his eyes. He felt ecstasy for a brief moment as the sensation of fingers slid along his mantle, his siphon tightening as a woman's voice said his name over and over and over again until he wanted to strangle it into silence, he saw beautiful paintings melt into a torrent of sickening color, nausea constricting his mantle even more tightly. He saw a woman's chest cave in and launch out her back, a shower of blood and bone scattering behind her as her mouth opened in a silent scream. He wretched and heaved, and if felt as though he were being dragged backwards into a vast abyss, a single word escaping from him.
