#cryptid phobos

[sad-boy-hank]

cryptidcore incorrect quotes

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Tricky: HELLO YES I AM

Tricky: I AM A NORMAL CLOWN

Tricky: PLEASE RELEASE ME FROM CONTAINMENT

Tricky: I WILL NOT BITE YOU

Sheriff: don't fall for it don't fall for it don't fall for it

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Cig Addict: Original called me the B-word!

Original: "Motherfucker" doesn't start with a B.

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Photographer: *turns on their flashlight*

Phobos, Typhon, Hera, and Eris: a̭̯̥̤͈̒ͣ͡n͕͙̠̭͙̆̆ͦ͡ ͈͔̻ͦ̂͆͂͡I ̤̗̗̱͖̱͙͗͆́͡o̲̠͎̓̄ͣ̋͡o͔͇͓͔ͧ̆͋͝p̡̦̻̟͗

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Auditor: If anyone makes fun of you for saying "okie dokie", you will kill them. Good luck!

Scrapes: Okie dokie boss! I'll do my best!

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Peppi, grabbing Sheriff: Oh my god shut up my partner is asleep.

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Jeb: You're telling me a queer coded this?

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[sad-boy-hank]

[sad-boy-hank]

cryptids go brrrrrrrrrr

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Doc: Damn, sorry boss, can't come into work today.

Auditor: Why?

Doc: I have to track down and kill my ex.

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Jeb: Hi, I'm Dr. Christoff. Have you or a loved one been injured in an accident?

Scrapes: . . . Uh, no-

Jeb: Sucks to be you, I guess.

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Doc: What are you dri-

Sheriff: Battery acid.

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Cigar: *literally just trying to relax*

Deimos, waddling into the house: You better watch out, you better watch out, you better watch out, YOU BETTER WATCH-

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Photographer: FUCK YOU Melanie! I have TWO HOT MONSTER BOYFRIENDS AND A PAIR OF MONSTER WIVES AND THEY WILL WRECK YOUR SHIT!

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Sheriff: Welcome to the British Museum!

*he cocks his pistol*

Sheriff: You can't leave.

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Sanny: Oh, dear, oh dear, oh gorgeous-

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Church and Jorge, pointing at Sheriff: Little baby! Little baby man! Little baby baby man! BABY!

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Tricky, busting down the door: FUCK YOU ALL

Uldwell: Oh lawd he comin'

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Doc: So, uh. . . I've never, y'know, killed someone before. . . how do I hide the body?

Crackpot: Bitch I'm a doctor, not a mortician.

Doc:

Crackpot: Let's toss it in the lake.

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Heavy Duty: Alright, I'm gonna get something to ea-

*they see Deimos standing on the counter*

Deimos:

Heavy Duty: I can see you-

Deimos: No you can't.

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Photographer: Everyone, this is called a "yeet."

Phobos, Typhon, Hera, and Eris: Yeet? Yeet? Yeet? Yeet?

[sad-boy-hank]

[sad-boy-hank]

The cryptids but its just images of cursed cats

Hank:

Deimos:

Sanny:

Tricky:

Church and Jorge:

Phobos:

Typhon:

Eris:

Hera:

[sad-boy-hank]

I'm screaming because I got two ideas after waking up and diving into paracosm (imaginary world), however, those two ideas turned into long-ass imagines, but wait! It doesn't look like imagines anymore! It's freaking bootleg of fics/ficlets! But wait! I also wanted it to be both Yandere! But it turned more like "Photographer!Reader shivering in fear & Crypt!Phobos getting convinced by his mates not to kill Reader" and "Smoker!Reader just meeting and chilling w/ Crypt!Deimos" Perhaps, I could make Crypt!Deimos idea into Yandere one, but we'll see.

ok, but i love that photographer! reader and i'm gonna steal it--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were probably a wildcore type, covered in belts and satchels and a huge, clunky camera. Not particularly practical, but you really loved the aesthetic and messing with all the buttons. Perhaps you should've cut down on the straps.

The mothman wasn't particularly happy that you'd stumbled upon one of his... sessions, but you were ecstatic. This was a huge thing, actual behavior that you could document, research, send to experts.

Sucks that you got caught.

When you decided to become a cryptid photographer, you wanted to stay as far out of reach from your subjects as you could- not wrapped up within his wings, his mates cooing and fawning over how cute and tiny you are.

It would be adorable in any other context, and if you didn't have dead rats and birds shoved into your mouth, and if Phobos wasn't so keen on... bonding with you.

You can deal with it, yeah, but you're miserable. You're okay with it, but maybe you'd be happier if you knew what these creatures wanted with you.

[sad-boy-hank]

Can we have some head cannons for cryptid Phobos

Y E S

** He's a very skittish boye, with freakishly good hearing. You gotta be extra careful around him bc if you catch him by surprise he WILL maul you to death.

** he has several mates but doesn't care much for them. They're just kinda there, but since he kinda needs them for. . . y'know, he keeps them around.

** Phobos screams. Like, at 5 in the AM he yells like a damn tomcat to announce his territory. every fuckin night.

[sad-boy-hank]

What Cryptids (anyone really) think on nice scent of flowers from Botanist!Reader? Just random question at 1 AM, lol

((ITS 1 AM WHERE YOU ARE??? DNHCDNSHJNCOEWIV----

Well, obviously Hank adores their scent. His sense of smell isn't exactly the best, but he loves to hold Botanist, so he won't hesitate to press them into his face for a sniff.

Church and Jorge have naturally keen senses, helpful both for tracking prey and detect... availability. They love a good scent, and even when Botanist is away the two make sure to keep the places Botanist has stayed in untouched so that the scent lingers for as long as possible.

Phobos and his mates are specialized nocturnal predators, using their sense of smell to identify each other and detect prey. Botanist's scent is something that's definitely valued to them, and they try to get Botanist to rub their scent on the group.

The other two, unfortunately, don't have a sense of smell, but they love Botanist all the same!