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Top 10 Reasons why The Chicago Cubs Suck!

There are so many things to hate about the Chicago Cubs. I am limiting this to a top 10, but honestly, I could probably make this into a top 25 or even top 50. My blood is boiling just from writing the last two sentences. The worst part is that casual fans and non-baseball fans alike just do not understand the hatred that is spewed across these two fan bases. It is not just about baseball, it is about a lifestyle, a neighborhood, and a mindset. Family ties bear no bonds when it comes to the White Sox / Cubs rivalry. So much to the point that I have a deal with my wife, if. God forbid, I were to pass away, and she were to get re-married, I am fine with whoever the individual is, as long as he is not a Cubs fan. I do not want my children brought up or exposed to that kind of household. That being said, here are my Top 10 reasons on why I hate the Chicago Cubs / Why the Chicago Cubs Suck:

10 Travel This ballpark could not be more fucking difficult to get to. Most professional stadiums are in the main part of the city with easy access from a major highway or interstate. Comiskey Park (AKA, US Cellular Field) is just south of the Chicago Loop right off of the Dan Ryan Expressway (AKA, I-95). Soldier Field is on Lake Shore Drive. The United Center is on Madison Ave, a few blocks off the Dan Ryan Expressway. Fucking Wrigley Field is on the corner of Addison and Clark a full 30 city blocks from the nearest expressway exit. That’s fine, but it’s right in the middle of a fucking residential neighborhood with 2 lane roads coming from all directions. It is a nightmare to get anywhere near the stadium on game day. I live on the South Side. It takes me 30 minutes to get to the exit for the stadium and another 90 minutes to get to walking distance. Okay, I guess I’ll take the L-train instead. Now it’s only a 15 minute drive to the Red Line and a 40 minute train ride, but this is the Red Line we are talking about. That means I have to park on the South Side off of either Downers Grove or MLK Drive. Either way, not a neighborhood where I really want to leave my car unattended for a few hours. Also, I once saw a man lick all of the hand rails in the train I was in. Needless to say, not really travelling in style. The best way to go is to get a limo to do the dropoff and pick-up, but again, I’m going to a baseball game, I don’t want to have to drop $100 on transportation to the game. The map below illustrates my point. From North to South the red dots represent Wrigley Field, The United Center, Soldier Field, and Comiskey Park. Notice how Wrigley is the only one way the fuck out in Bu-Fu. Thanks, but I’d rather take my chances in Bridgeport and go watch the Sox thank you very much (more on the neighborhoods later).

9 Parking Okay, so let’s assume that you weighed all the options and decided that you’re best off just driving to Wrigley Field, and you make it there before the game is out of hand in favor of the visiting team. Well, now you get the privilege of paying the Cubs $25 dollars to park you 3 blocks from the stadium. That is of course if the lots aren’t already full with season ticket holders. I promise you, if you are a single ticket holder, you are not getting in the red, blue, yellow, or purple lots. Green and Brown aren’t gonna be too promising either. Fortunately there are some nice upstanding citizens in the neighborhood who will let you park in their driveway if you pay them $30 and leave your fucking keys with them. They will also park the car for you and likely put a nice ding or scratch in the side (sorry, owner assumes all risk). Now let’s take a look at the Cell. It doesn’t look like much more, but the city blocks in Bridgeport are huge compared to Wrigleyville, so the scale we are talking here is massive. You’re still gonna pay $25 to park, but at least you know your car is secure, and when you leave the game early because you’re getting blown out, you will not have to wait for the drunken asshole parked next to you to let you out. Also, see the post about Chicago drivers. At a White Sox game, you will likely have a majority of Chicago drivers attending the game. This is not the case for a Cubs game. Every home game, losers from all over the country drive in to see the “Loveable” Losers play mediocre baseball like it’s some fucking rite of passage. Unfortunately, these douchewads couldn’t drive or park a car in rural Iowa, let alone the busiest streets of Chicago, so have fun dodging those assholes. http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/cws/ballpark/transportation/ http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/chc/ballpark/transportation/

8 Neighborhood Ahhh, the neighborhood. If you’re not from Chicago you probably have heard the following: Wrigleyville is full of yuppies, Bridgeport is the ghetto. This is only partially accurate. A small portion of Wrigleyville surrounding the stadium is definitely full of yuppies and has bars like the Cubby Bear that serves $8 cans of Old Style and $10 bottles of Goose Island 312. Just down the street however lies this…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gerald_Farinas_Boystown_Rainbow_Pylon.jpg I am not by any means going to gay bash, but that is a welcome sign to Chicago’s Gay neighborhood. In fact, the entire area, whose official name is Lakeview, goes by Boystown. Wrigleyville just happens to be the name of the tiny area surrounding the stadium. If you Google Boystown Chicago, this is what comes up: https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-a&hs=vJQ&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=sb&q=chicago+boystown&spell=1&sa=X&ei=DBUqU8-dKvP7yAGE-YCADg&ved=0CCQQBSgA Yes, that is Wrigley Field right in the middle. Now again, I am not here to spit any hate at the Gay and Lesbian community. I am here however to spit a whole lot of hate at the Cubs Fan community, and most of them deny this simple fact as if it were impossible to be true. Look, I’m proud to say that the Cell is in the ghetto, even though the neighborhood isn’t as bad as some others. Cubs fans hate when this is brought up, so of course, Sox fans bring it up as often as we can find reason. And it can usually without a doubt be thrown in any time a Cubs fan brags about how the bars in “Wrigleyville” are better than those in Bridgeport. I’ll always throw out, “yeah, I know after a Cubs game you guys love going to The Manhole.” Again, for you non-Chicagoans, the Manhole was about the most over-the-top gay bar in the country. Unfortunately for Cubs fans, the name has changed to Hydrate (not quite as over-the-top, but still some overtones in there). (Sidenote, the only reason why I know the name changes is because I Googled the Manhole to try to find a picture to post and Hydrate is what popped up, so to speak). On the other hand, Bridgeport has bars like Schaller’s Pump, which has been there since the Stockyards occupied the city, and you can still get an Italian Beef, fries, and a tall Miller Lite, plus tip for under $10. Go to the Cubby Bear and see if you can get that. In fact, I just looked at their website, and the price for an Italian Beef sandwich is fucking $11. Add the $8 for an Old Style and you just paid over $20, and this is their “Off Season” menu. Game Day menus won’t be posted for another few days. I’ll take Bridgeport any day.

5. Announcers The Cubs’ television broadcast announcers have been notoriously bad, and this will piss off most Cubs fans because they cannot stand Hawk Harrelson, the announcer for the White Sox. The difference is, they hate Hawk because of his outlandish behavior, undeniable favoritism, and odd sayings. This is precisely why White Sox fans love the Hawk. Ever since Harry Caray passed, the Cubs have put nothing but booring, and unintelligent broadcasters in the booth, with the exception of Steve Stone, who they fired because he was willing to call the games as he saw them, which meant a lot of picking on the Cub players, management, and front office personnel for making atrocious moves. He essentially told the truth, got fired, and now works as the Color Commentator for the White Sox alongside Hawk. Since Caray, the Cubs have used duds like Chip Caray, who liked to use phrases like “fisted to first,” and Len Kasper, who was more annoying than anything else, but mostly had zero baseball intelligence, which actually worked out for most Cub fans because neither do they. It was a nice tribute for the Cubs to use Chip Caray, Harry’s grandson to broadcast after Harry’s passing, but it really should have only been a one year deal. Anything past that was just cruel and unusual punishment for anyone turning in to watch the game. Ron Santo was slightly above average, just like his play at third base, and Bob Brenly, while more knowledgeable about the game than the others on this list, was just flat out boring. To be completely honest, the only good thing that came from Harry Caray’s last years as a broadcaster were Will Ferrell’s SNL skits. The most ironic part about Caray being the Cubs’ most beloved broadcaster is that he worked for both of the Cubs’ most hated rivals, the Cardinals and the White Sox, before finally joining the Cubs in 1982. Caray actually worked for the Cubs for 25 years, longer than any other team, and the White Sox for 10 before finally settling on the Cubs for what would be his last 15 years. Again, what many Cub fans don’t know, was that Caray’s traditional singing of the Seventh Inning Stretch from the broadcast booth began with the White Sox with Nancy Faust at the organ in the 70s. It was the White Sox fans that encouraged it to continue after Caray only agreed to do it on one occasion. The Cubs have proceeded to defile this tradition ever since by having D list celebutards chant, spit, and stutter their way through the song instead of doing something classy like playing a recorded version of Caray. But the worst part of all the bad announcers that the Cubs trot out every day, just like their sorry excuse for a team, is the fact that WGN broadcasts every single home game on National television like it is some fucking rite of passage to watch the Cubs play weekday afternoon baseball. Fortunately for most baseball fans, we are at work during most Cub home games, so the odds of accidentally watching one on TV is limited.

4 Fans Now we are finally getting into the meat and potatoes of why it is so easy to hate the Cubs. There are many different types of fans who actually go to Cubs games, so I will try to break this down as best I can. *Notice I did not say, “There are many different types of fans that WATCH Cubs games.” About half of the people in the stands at Wrigley seriously could not care less if a baseball game were played that day. They are there to get drunk and party at the World’s Largest Gay Bar. This brings me to the first type of fan - The Lovable Loser This fan is only at the game because he or she thinks it is a cool thing to do. They have heard about the party atmosphere and decided to check it out while on a trip to Chicago, or they go to one of the many Colleges in the area, or they actually live nearby and live off of Daddy’s trust fund and don’t have to work on a Wednesday afternoon, so what else to do except for grab a pair of cargo shorts, flip flops, and a Cubs floppy hat and walk down the street to Wrigley. These people are truly the worst or the bunch. Not only do they have no desire to watch the game, but they know nothing about baseball, but still act like they are Cubs fans. They will have brand new Cubs gear on, will shout Go Cubs during inappropriate moments in the game, and have the worst ballpark etiquette you will ever witness (getting up in the middle of the inning, being unprepared for the vendors, and generally making a scene). They also love, love, love to argue with anyone who opposes the Cubs (ie: me when I wear Sox gear to the game). *Side note: I only go to Cubs games when a friend insists and I don’t have to drive or buy the ticket. The arguments usually have nothing to do with actual baseball, and whenever a valid point is made to counter their argument, they will respond with a very loud and off pitch “Go Cubs!” As if that means they just won the argument. It is seriously easier to talk to a 5 year old. You usually see these types being ushered out by security or carried out by their friends because they could not handle the combo of Bud Light and sunlight. - The Die Hard These fans are usually tolerable, if it weren’t for their utter disbelief every time the Cubs fail. These guys actually know their baseball. They know the players, understand the rules, follow proper etiquette, etc. They are just under the illusion that the Cubs actually have a chance this year. Many of the die-hards will bring a Walkman to the game to listen to the radio broadcast and will keep a scorecard along with the game (this is of course necessary because of the lack of a functioning scoreboard). This is the guy or girl that says “this is our year” every spring training and has accepted fate come July 1. They are Cubbie Blue through and through, which is what makes it so easy to make fun at their expense. Every year new demotivational posters are made of dejected Cubs fans suffering at their team’s lack of success. - The Out of Towner This poor bastard grew up in Iowa or Nebraska (or somewhere that does not have a professional baseball team) and grew up following the Cubs on WGN because that is what they could get. Some have great knowledge of the team, others not so much. Most (not all) of these people are the ones that didn’t know Wrigley Field didn’t have lights until 1988, and that the outfield walls were not always covered in ivy (1937), and that originally, it was only the left field bleachers that had the ivy. The Loveable Loser usually either knows these facts because they looked at Wikipedia before the game or argues something like the lights were added in the 30s and the ivy in the 80s or something just as asinine. Many times, the out of towner wants to take in the stadium as much as they do the game, because for some reason they think Wrigley Field is a great place to watch a game (for those who haven’t been there, it is God Awful—more on this another day). This again leads to getting up from the seats more than needed and generally being lost in the concourses and areas surrounding the field. - The Uber Douche This is the last category and is the absolute worst of the fans. This person is similar to the Loveable Loser in that they have no interest in the game, with the exception that they make this known. They are at Wrigley strictly to get drunk before the first pitch is even thrown. This person ruins the game for everybody. This is the jackass that will get in fights, spill beer, push kids out of the way for foul balls, etc. Former Cub Manager, Lee Elia, summed it up nicely in a rant following a loss to the Dodgers in 1983:

Fuck those fuckin' fans who come out here and say they're Cub fans that are supposed to be behind you, rippin' every fuckin' thing you do. I'll tell you one fuckin' thing, I hope we get fuckin' hotter than shit, just to stuff it up them 3,000 fuckin' people that show up every fuckin' day, because if they're the real Chicago fuckin' fans, they can kiss my fuckin' ass right downtown and PRINT IT. They're really, really behind you around here...my fuckin' ass. What the fuck am I supposed to do, go out there and let my fuckin' players get destroyed every day and be quiet about it? For the fuckin' nickel-dime people who turn up? The motherfuckers don't even work. That's why they're out at the fuckin' game. They oughta go out and get a fuckin' job and find out what it's like to go out and earn a fuckin' living. Eighty-five percent of the fuckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A fuckin' playground for the cocksuckers.

That was said during the postgame press conference. Ouch, even the manager hated the fans.

One last thing before I close the book on Cubs fans. In the book Scorecasting by Tobias Moskowitz and L. Jon Wertheim (a great book by the way), the authors talk about a study of MLB attendance. Every team except season attendance that correlated to the success of the team the previous season and the current season. If the team did well last year, a bunch of tickets were sold this year, and vice versa. The only exception was the Cubs. Their attendance showed ZERO correlation to team success, and the only statistic that correlated to attendance was the current price of beer at the stadium. Consider that before you start making plans to visit Wrigley before they tear it down. Do you really want to be one of those people?

6. Food The food selections a Wrigley are absolutely horrendous. Seriously, the food at Wrigley makes a Little League concession stand look like fine dining. Now I’m not saying that I expect a ball park to provide waiters to lower level seats like the St. Louis Cardinals and New York Yankees do. Nor do I expect a stadium to offer things like burritos or sushi, but many do, and it can add a little bit of local flair to the team’s stadium experience. For example, US Cellular field offers many Polish, Mexican, Italian, and Asian options as a nod to the heritages that live in the areas surrounding the field. Does this mean I’m going to get a fajita at the game…No, but the option is there, and it actually looks pretty damn appetizing. If your city does something well foodwise, by all means, sell it, and make it good. Chicago does all kinds of food well, so you would think Wrigley Field could at least put out the staples of baseball (hot dogs) well, but they can’t even sell a good stadium dog, let alone a true Chicago hot dog. Fortunately, for those of you seeking a Chicago dog, Wrigley has finally switched over from selling generic, steamed chicken and pork product dogs to the Chicago standard all beef Vienna dog. This is a start, but frankly, they still miss the mark on what is a growing market in baseball. Fans want options at the park, and here is what Wrigley offers other than your standard concession that sells dogs, brats, burgers, and beer: - Sheffield Grill (over priced burgers and sandwiches and a line longer than that at the troughs the Cubs call urinals. - Wingville (wings covered in what the Cubs cleverly call Wrigleyville Ivy Sauce…pass) - D’Agostinos Pizza (serving the world famous Chicago thin crust pizza…wait, what? That’s right, no deep dish here) - The Works Loaded Dog (more expensive versions of the stadium dog with fritos, taco meat, or deli toppings) And that is it. Four fucking places that are not dog and burger joints, and one of them is a fucking hot dog joint and another serves crappy pizza. On the other hand, here is what US Cellular offers: - Connies Pizza (5 locations and this is an actual Chicago pizza joint selling both thin and deep dish) - South Side Hitmen Grille (2 locations, serving steak and chicken Philly’s, alongside traditional stadium fare) - Tex Mex (3 locations, serving multiple versions of nachos, tacos, and fajitas) - Lollar’s Guard the Plate Grill (1 location, serving stadium fare and a brat and nacho bar) - Rookie’s Club (2 locations specializing in kid friendly food) - Sweet Spot (2 locations selling gourmet deserts) - Triple Play Café (1 location selling deli sandwiches, taco salads, burritos, and nachos. The taco salads are pretty amazing) - Winning Ugly is Sweet (1 location selling ice cream and amazing waffle cone sundaes) - Veggie Lovers (2 locations serving vegetarian friendly food including quesadillas, burgers, and dogs) You can also find carts selling the Asian and Polish specialties, not to mention vendors that will bring a fucking margarita to your seat. Seriously, if even just for the food, it is time to demolish Wrigley and bring the Cubs into the Major Leagues instead of this amateur hour offering that the Cubs call food.

6 Beer Well, if you have read my post on beer snobs, you may actually question my reasoning on this one, but Wrigley Field has the worst selection of beer in the Major Leagues. So, let’s break this down by starting at the beginning with the Macro Brews. Chicago is a Miller town, always has been. US Cellular servers Miller, the United Center serves Miller, Soldier Field serves Miller, and Wrigley serves Budweiser. Again, I hate Budweiser, but what really bothers me about this is the fact that Budweiser is brewed in the city of and the main sponsor of the Cubs’ biggest division rival, the St Louis Cardinals. So why ever would you serve the beer that their fucking stadium is named after? Only a true Cub could come up with this brilliant marketing. But let’s move away from the Macro selection and move on to the specialty and craft beer selection. At Wrigley it is almost non-existent. Up until last year, the only non-macro brews were Old Style, Corona, Red Stripe, and Heineken. I guess I’ll take a Red Stipe if that is my only option. Finally, the Cubs marketing department figured out that people would like a bigger selection of beer, so they removed the old Chicago staple of Old Style and replaced it with a few selections of Goose Island, which is still brewed in Chicago. At this point, I will take anything over a fucking Old Style. That stuff is worse than Schlitz. US Cellular, on the other hand recently switched the craft brew kiosks (of which there are 2 each in the upper and lower levels) from brews of the world to brews of the Midwest. I am happy either way, but to be honest, when it’s 100 degrees out, and I’m sitting in the sun, I will take the $8 Miller Lite. On a cooler night game, I will gladly walk the ballpark and grab a random micro from somewhere in the Midwest.

3. Stadium Wrigley Field. What a piece of shit. Seriously, it is the worst ballpark in the country to watch a game, and this is not even factoring in the fact that you have to watch the Cubs and put up with Cub fans. The stadium is literally a decaying turd. Everybody says, “but the stadium has so much history!” Well, so does a fossilized piece of shit, but I don’t want to keep that around for longevity either. And really, what history has it seen. The Cubs have not won a world series since they began playing games there in 1916 (Cubs last won in 1908 for those counting). It has seen the Cubs lose 5 World Series in 1929, 1932, 1935, 1938, and 1945. The Chicago Bears played there from 1921 to 1970 and won 8 NFL championships during that time span: 1921, 1932, 1933, 1940, 1941, 1943, 1946, and 1963. You don’t hear much from the Bears about the history of Wrigley Field however. When I was little, and they tore down Old Comiskey Park to make way for the new monstrosity that now goes by US Cellular Field, I was devastated. I loved the old ball park and the new one felt like a warehouse. But then came the upgrades and the comforts of a new building, such as comfortable seats, better sightlines, more space between rows, and better slope of both the lower and upper bowls with minimal reduced visibility seats. Even the Yankees have moved on to bigger, better, and undeniably nicer. The Cubs can’t seem to let go of a stadium that has brought them nothing but heartache. So let’s dissect the park to get down to what makes it so bad.

-The manual scoreboard: Really Cubs? This thing is terrible. It is ugly, slow, and pretty much useless. All it shows is the current count, outs, inning, and box score. New stadiums have boards that have ridiculous HD that can show a replay to any seat in the house, expanded stats of each player in the game, and stats from the out of town scores as well. All in real time. Instead the Cubs use a bunch of guys keeping up with the games on their smartphones. Historic or not, it’s time to move into the 20th century, the rest of the league has moved onto the 21st.

-The seats: They were made for people in the 1910s. They are tight side to side, there is zero leg room for a person over 6 feet, and they are made of uncomfortable plastic and iron, have zero lumbar, and have multiple pressure points. I don’t require much when it comes to ballpark seats, I’m not looking for luxury, but comfort for 3 hours would be nice. The worst part is the sight lines. There are multiple seats like the one below that have a fucking beam right in front of the seat. (source: Chicagonow.com)

Why does this even exist? The worst part is that fucking people actually pay to sit here. If you are happening to sit in the lower bowl of the stadium, hopefully you are in the lower 16 rows, because anything higher will not see a single fly ball, the scoreboard, or half of the balls hit to the outfield. Upper Lower (source: bestbaseballseats.com)

But don’t worry. The Cubs were nice enough to install 11 in TVs in the rafters and a small electronic scoreboard so you can follow the action from the seat you paid $56 for if you were lucky enough to pay face value. TVs (source: http://chiblogo.wordpress.com/2008/05/05/bad-seats-in-the-house/) I have sat in these seats for multiple games, and it is fucking impossible to watch the game. You literally have to hunch down to watch any part of the game. No wonder people go to the game just to drink.

The Concourse: As if the seats weren’t bad enough, the concourse is small, packed with drunken fans, and has very few options for beer, food, and restrooms. (Source: Chicagonow.com) I have already covered the lack of good food and beer, so there really is no reason to get up, except that the seats are so uncomfortable that you actually have to get up and walk around, otherwise your leg might have to be amputated to actually get you out of the seat after 9 innings. God forbid you actually have to use the bathroom. Then you are presented with this luxury. Urinal (source: urinal.net) I can’t fucking tell which trough is to urinate and which is to wash hands. I’m pretty sure the round one is for washing hands, but that does not stop drunken idiots from pissing there when the lines get long, which they will, because there are like 2 bathrooms in the entire fucking stadium.

The Lights: The Cubs finally got them in 1989, but they haven’t quite figured out how to use them. For some reason this franchise wants to cater to the non-working class. And by that, I mean people that do not have a fucking job at all. I could never be a Cubs fan (other than for the obvious reasons) because I could never watch a fucking game. They are all 12:05 starts on a weekday. Some days you might get lucky and get the 3:05 start, but to get to Wrigley at that time, you’d still have to leave work at noon. It’s not cute, it’s annoying. Especially when the Sox are playing crosstown. I actually want to watch the game, but I work for a living, so now I have to fucking DVR the thing and watch when I get home (not to mention avoid Facebook like the black plague).

There are many reasons to avoid this shithole, but still, people travel cross country each year to catch a game at the fabled Wrigley Field. Try it at your own risk, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

2 Hype For some reason, every year, there is always some kind of hype surrounding the Cubs. The most typical is that this will be their year, which it never is. My luck, these blog entries will be what it takes to finally take them to the World Series. Thankfully the White Sox beat them to it in 2005 and the Red Sox did the same in 2004. If its not World Series hype, then it will be something like “Kerry Wood is the next 300 game winner” or “Mark Prior is the next Nolan Ryan.” These never come true either. Partly because Cubs scouting is terrible and they draft bad players, partly because they draft good players and destroy them early in the player’s career. Let’s dissect some of the first round draft picks the Cubs have had in the 90s and 2000s.

1995 (Kerry Wood, 4th overall pick). He went on a tear to start his career, winning the NL Rookie of the Year, throwing a 20 strikeout game, and posting 200 strikeout seasons in 4 of his first 5. It looked like the Cubs had an ace for years to come, but the Cubs did what they do best and overworked Wood, requiring Tommy John surgery in 1999. Wood was never the same and became the best .500 pitcher in the league. He last appeared in 2012 as a reliever and finished with a career record of 86-75.

1996 (John Garland, 10th overall pick). He was traded to the White Sox for Matt Karchner in 1998. Garland would debut for the Sox in 2000 and win the World Series as the #4 rotation guy behind Mark Buehrle, Freddy Garcia, and Jose Contreras. In 2007, Garland would begin a series of trades and signings that has sent him to 6 different clubs. He currently plays for the Mariners and has a record of 136-125. Karchner on the other hand finished the 1998 season with a 5.14 ERA and was released following the season, while Garland enjoyed great success from 2000-2006.

1998 (Corey Patterson, 3rd overall pick). Chosen by the Cubs before the likes of JD Drew, Carlos Pena, and CC Sabbathia. Patterson was named prospect of the year, but went on to be a perennial strikeout king. Too bad he was a lead off hitter that was supposed to hit for contact and get on base to utilize his speed. He owns a career .252 batting average, only breaking .270 once and has 933 strikeouts in 4,499 at bats (a rate of 1 per 5 at bats). The career on base percentage is .290. It is an understatement to say he did not work out. He was traded out of the Cubs AA system in 2006.

The following few years were got even worse, with the Cubs drafting players that rarely, if ever, even broke into the Big Leagues, such as the following:

2000 (Luis Montanez, 3rd overall pick) 2002 (Bobby Brownline, 21st overall pick) 2003 (Ryan Harvey, 6th overall pick) 2004 (No 1st round pick, given to Minnesota in compensation for signing LaTroy Hawkins)

If you are wondering “who the Hell are these guys,” don’t worry, so are Cubs fans. The year that was left out was 2001, which saw Mark Prior drafter 2nd overall. This is probably the Cubs’ best pick in decades. A legitimate Ace pitcher who had a real shot and producing for a long time. In his first season, Prior went 10-1 and led the Cubs to a divisional playoff win against the Atlanta Braves, only to lose in a heartbreaking fashion to the Florida Marlins in the NLCS. Prior averaged 114 pitches per appearance in the regular season, and in the month of September, an astronomical 126 pitches per game. This and other issues led to multiple injuries to his throwing arm and shoulder. He last played in 2006 and finished with a career record of 42-29.

There have obviously been others who have come in and produced for a short period of time, only to falter down the stretch as the Cubs often do, such as Carlos Zambrano, Aramis Ramirez, and Alfonso Soriano. The bottom line is that this team receives so much hype, and yet does nothing to deserve it year in and year out. The problem for the franchise is that the owners and management have no incentive to change. People come to the games no matter how well the team does. They want to drink and “experience Wrigley.” So the management just needs to look like it is trying to put a winning team together so as not to upset the faithful, and the drunken idiots will do the rest by filling the seats every afternoon at 12:05 Central, and WGN will help groom the next generation of Cubs fans by making games available to everyone in Iowa and Nebraska.

1 Curse The Curse of the Billy Goat. Legend has it that during the 1945 World Series, Billy Goat Tavern owner, Billy Sianis, was forced to leave the game against the Detroit Tigers because his pet goat's odor was bothering other fans. He then put a “curse” on the Cubs, claiming that they will never win again. The Cubs have not won a National League pennant since, and have not won a World Series since 1908. Why a goat was let into the ballpark to begin with is beyond me, but apparently the Cubs fans think this is one of the reasons for the lack of success. I don’t know about you, but this is the lamest curse I have ever heard of. The Red Sox had the Curse of the Bambino, for selling the greatest player in the world to the New York Yankees in 1919, they broke the curse in 2004. The White Sox had the curse of the Black Sox, for throwing the 1919 World Series, they broke the curse the following year in 2005. Both of those seem like legitimate reasons for “being cursed.” The Cubs kicked a smelly animal out of the ballpark and have used that as an excuse for the lack of success, but remember, they too had a chance to break their curse in 2003, and instead, in true Cubs fashion, gave away Game 6 and Game 7 of the NLCS. Many people blamed the curse. Even more people blamed Steve Bartman. But virtually no one put the blame where it belonged, on the Cubs players themselves for not finishing a team that was on the ropes.

Since I am lazy, I will allow Wikipedia to explain the incident for me: In the eighth inning of Game 6 of the National League Championship Series, with Chicago ahead 3–0 and holding a 3 games to 2 lead in the best of 7 series, several spectators attempted to catch a foul ball off the bat of Marlins' second baseman Luis Castillo. One of the fans, Steve Bartman, reached for the ball, deflecting it and disrupting a potential catch by Cubs outfielder Moisés Alou. If Alou had caught the ball it would have been the second out in the inning, and the Cubs would have been just four outs away from winning their first National League pennant since 1945. Instead, the Cubs ended up surrendering eight runs in the inning and shortly afterward lost the game, 8-3. When they were eliminated in the seventh game the next day, the "Steve Bartman incident" was seen as the "first domino" in the turning point of the series. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Bartman_incident)

Bartman, who was one of the Cubs faithful (listening to the game on his Walkman and keeping his own scorecard), was absolutely destroyed by his fellow Cubs fans, being blamed for the Cubs’ defeat. Moises Alou threw a temper tantrum that would make a 9 year old girl jealous, and Alex Gonzalez literally allowed the game go right through his legs. What follows is the aftermath of the 8th inning. -Louis Castillo is walked on a wild pitch allowing Juan Pierre to advance to 3rd. -Iván Rodríguez singles in a run, making it 3-1. -Miguel Cabrera hit an easy double play ground ball to Alex Gonzalez, who allowed the ball to roll through his legs into left field. Instead of ending the inning, or recording the second out, all runners were safe and the bases were loaded. -Derrek Lee doubled, tying the score at 3-3. -Mike Lowell was intentionally walked. -Jeff Conine hit a sacrifice fly, giving Florida a 4-3 lead. Sammy Sosa missed the cutoff man, allowing Conine to advance to 2nd. -Todd Hollandsworth was intentionally walked because of Sosa’s error, which again loaded the bases. -Mike Mordecai drove in 3 runs with a double, making the score 7–3. -Juan Pierre singled to put Florida ahead 8–3. - Luis Castillo, poped out to 2nd to end the inning, and the game ended with the same score.

Bartman was made out to be the goat (pun intended), when in reality, Alou allowed a small man in a hoodie knock away a foul ball that should have been easily caught. Gonzalez then booted the game into left field. There were multiple opportunities to end the inning at 3-0, let alone before it got out of hand. The Cubs also had a 5-3 lead in game 7 before losing 9-6. The difference is that the Marlins capitalized on their opportunities (like good teams will do), while the Cubs focused on a play that should have had little to no impact on the game and collapsed. They then tried to put the blame everywhere except for where it belonged, the players who actually blew the game. The Cubs will never be successful as long as they maintain that mentality, and as a White Sox fan, I am perfectly happy with that outcome.

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Top 10 Reasons why The Chicago Cubs Suck!

That was said during the postgame press conference. Ouch, even the manager hated the fans.

The following few years were got even worse, with the Cubs drafting players that rarely, if ever, even broke into the Big Leagues, such as the following:

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