#cullen grant

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Cullen took her to a small café that was located near her apartment. She felt slightly overdressed.

Even though they hadn’t seen or spoken to one another in years, they had a hard time finding things to talk about. Lauren didn’t want to ask Cullen about his travels as that could lead down a path she wasn’t ready for. And Cullen didn’t want to bring his travels up for the same reason. They avoided asking one another about the past six years. All that left them with was their shared past – which was also obviously off limits – and their mothers. So mothers it was.

Fortunately, both of their mothers were easy to talk about as they were both spirited women that liked to overstep boundaries when it came to inserting themselves into their children’s lives. Cullen and Lauren shared many laughs over their crazy mothers – helping the evening to pass by quickly.

Their laughter and presence did not go unnoticed by other patrons. Out of the corners of their eyes they could both see the entire room staring, pointing, and whispering about them. Both Cullen and Lauren tried to ignore it, acting as if they didn’t notice what was happening. But then both of their phones started dinging and buzzing in their respective purse and pocket, and they could no longer ignore what was happening.

When Lauren finally glanced at her phone she had 42 notifications on a picture that her and Cullen were both tagged in. It was of them laughing at the table in the café.

“This is beyond weird,” Lauren choked, “I think we need to leave.” Cullen nodded in agreement and signaled for the waiter to bring him the check. Ordinarily, Lauren wouldn’t have let him pay – but she just wanted to get the hell out of that place.

Before they arrived back at her apartment, the picture had already reached 126 likes, had 37 comments, and had been shared 53 times.

“Should I report it?” Cullen asked, glancing at his own phone – watching the notifications flood his home screen.

“I don’t know,” Lauren grimaced, “But I think someone followed us here. Look out the window – is that someone with a camera?” A shiver traveled through Lauren’s body, she felt violated.

“What the hell – I think you’re right. Should I go out there? Should we call the police?”

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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“Are you ready to head out?” Lauren asked as she descended the stairs. Cullen turned and looked at Lauren in a way that felt like time was moving in slow motion, or maybe even backwards. The world seemed to slow down as his eyes met hers. He hadn’t looked at her like that in a long time.

“You look stunning,” Cullen smiled as he lightly tugged at his collar, “and I really like your apartment, it’s nice.”

Lauren felt her muscles tense, for some reason the thought of him inspecting her apartment made her uncomfortable. She tried to play it cool, but could feel her skin steadily growing cold and clammy.

“I especially like the black and white photos. Where are those from? They seem familiar,” Culled mused, glancing at the photos yet again, unable to place them.

“I took them actually,” Lauren swallowed, feeling increasingly more uncomfortable. There was a reason Cullen thought the photos were familiar. They were from a trip the two of them had taken during the spring break before they broke up. She didn’t have them displayed in her home as a shrine to him or their relationship or anything, she just liked them. But now she felt like she might have to rip them from their frames, too.

Great, I’m going to have nothing on my shelves or my walls.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Cullen did end up calling the police, but they said there was nothing they could do. Whoever the person with the camera was, he or she wasn’t technically breaking any laws. The officer advised locking the door, staying away from windows, and remaining inside for the night. He recommended checking back in the following morning.

“So, I guess you’re staying the night then?” Lauren asked cautiously, still feeling on edge about everything that had unfolded in the last couple of hours.

“I’ll leave if you want me to. Whoever is outside is probably harmless,” Cullen swallowed, trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince Lauren.

“No – I want you to stay. I don’t think I can handle being alone here tonight with all of this going on,” Lauren paused, curling her fingers until her nails dug into the palm of her hands, trying to force the corners of her mouth from curling into an unwanted smile, “And you should probably stay upstairs with me. This whole main floor is basically a glass box – and the officer said to stay away from windows,”

The two exchanged an awkward glance. It was the safest choice, but it didn’t make it less weird for them.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Lauren threw her body to the floor in hopes that Cullen wouldn’t see her lounging in the living room through the glass. Hiding with her back against the couch and her knees hugged tightly to her chest, she tried to decide what her next move would be.

I look like absolute trash. I can’t answer the door like this.

“Jesus, I sound like my mother…” Lauren whispered to herself, realizing how vein she sounded. It was then that she decided she would crawl to the bathroom in an attempt to stay unseen, quickly apply a bit of makeup, and hopefully find some better clothes by digging in the hamper.

“Coming, just a moment,” Lauren sang sweetly from the ground. She began her infant-like descent towards the bathroom, her hands and knees pitter-pattering across the wood floor as she crawled. When she got to the small hallway that led into the kitchen her breath caught in her chest and a funny tickle traveled through her nose, growing stronger and stronger until: “Ahhhhhhhh-choooooo!” Lauren sneezed, her head lurching forward and smacking into the rough fiber of the hall rug.

“Lauren?” Cullen half-shouted from the hallway as he peered in through the glass door.

Shit.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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After her mother left, Lauren let herself melt into her couch. Fighting with her mother was an activity that Lauren was incredibly familiar with. For her entire life, her mother had constantly pounced on her whenever she strayed from what Charlotte deemed acceptable or appropriate. Lauren always thought her mother was just a controlling bitch that cared too much what other people thought - and most of her still did. However, her mother’s final words were still ringing in her ears.

Call me when you can’t take it anymore, ‘cause I promise you that day will come. You are not strong enough for the storm that’s coming your way.

“What the hell does that even mean?” Lauren whispered to herself as she flopped over onto her back and let her head press into the couch cushions.

Lauren spent the remainder of her day lounging around and indulging in self-pity. She wasn’t feeling great, and she wasn’t sure if it was the fight with her mother or the baby growing inside of her that was the cause. Regardless, when she heard a light knock on her door she was less than enthused to have to peel herself off the couch and actually do something.

Her heart plummeted to the bottom of her abdomen when she saw who was standing on the other side of the door: Cullen.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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“I’m sorry I don’t have any clothes for you to wear to bed,” Lauren stated as she smoothed out her comforter, “and I’m even more sorry that I only have one bed,”

“Like I said, I’ll be fine sleeping in the chair. I’ve slept in worse places,” Cullen awkwardly laughed, trying to ease the strange tension.

“And you’re okay sleeping in a dress shirt and jeans? It’s really not a big deal if you want to take some of your clothes off. You can even do it after I shut off the lights,” Lauren mumbled, feeling mildly uncomfortable, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,”

There it was – the first step in opening that very purposefully sealed door to their past.

“And you can sleep on the bed too,” Lauren sighed, trying to act as if she didn’t feel slightly like a giddy school girl about all of this, “We’re grownups – I think we are mature enough to handle that,”

Worry flashed across Cullen’s face as he stood and walked awkwardly to the corner of the room and slowly undressed himself until he was down to just his underwear.

“Man, did I choose a bad day not to wear an undershirt,” Cullen joked, trying to lighten the strange mood that had engulfed the room.

Lauren and Cullen climbed into bed, uncomfortable - they both knew they wouldn’t be able to sleep with the awkwardness that had consumed the room. The thoughts of the evening swirled around in both of their minds. It was more than just a little creepy that someone had followed them home and tried to photograph them. And it was more than just a little awkward to be sharing a bed together as estranged ex’s who had yet to reach a place where they could finally address their issues. Even so, Cullen squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to drift off while Lauren leaned on her elbow and switched off the lamp. 

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Lauren gave herself a quick trucker’s bath before throwing on different clothes and slathering on some makeup. She felt obligated to look nice. Okay, more than nice. She wanted to wow him. Mostly because she wanted to throw it in his face, but also because her heart was dancing in ways that it hadn’t in years.

While Lauren got ready, Cullen walked around the main floor of her apartment. He quickly noticed that almost all of the shelves were empty – this struck him as odd. He felt weird being there, but comfortable at the same time. Seeing her again after all the years that had passed was nice. Cullen felt that he had changed since Lauren last saw him. Life had thrown a lot his way, and it had forced him to be a different version of himself. He thought that he could see the same thing in Lauren’s eyes when she first answered the door – like something had changed her, too.  

He continued perusing her apartment, looking at her books and trinkets, but what really struck him was the artwork on the walls. There were beautiful black and white photographs framed all throughout the main floor – they were basically the only photos that she had. They felt familiar to him. He noted a large basket full of empty picture frames on the floor, and thought that might have something to do with all of the empty shelves but he couldn’t be sure. Something about Lauren’s apartment left him feeling like he was missing a piece of the puzzle or that there was a disconnect - like he didn’t really know her anymore, or maybe that she didn’t know herself.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Using the bare shelf behind her as a support, Lauren pulled herself off the ground and tried her best to smooth down her clothes and hair before opening the door.

“Hi…I was just, um, well – “ Lauren rambled awkwardly, unable to think of an excuse as to why she would be crawling around on her floor. Cullen let out a loud, deep laugh. Its sound filling the entire hallway.

“You were just what?” Cullen smiled. “Uh, I just, well, I wasn’t expecting you,” Lauren laughed, his smile slightly easing her feelings of being uncomfortable, “Otherwise I wouldn’t look like this right now, and I wouldn’t have just tried to crawl to the bathroom in an attempt to find a way to fix myself,”

“You look great,” Cullen replied with another smile, “You don’t need to fix anything,”

Lauren’s heart skipped a beat. She didn’t want it to, but it did.

Cullen cleared his throat, still standing awkwardly in the hallway fidgeting with his pant leg. 

“Oh jesus, I got so swept up in my ridiculous antics that I still haven’t invited you in. Come in, come in,” Lauren ushered as she squeezed her eyes shut, letting her mind scream to close and lock the door while she still had the chance.

“I’m sorry my visit took you so off guard, I was told to be here at 6:30,”

“It’s fine. I thought I had cancelled, uh, but apparently my mother had other plans,” Lauren mumbled as she tried once again to smooth her hair and clothes down, “uh…so what exactly were we supposed to be doing tonight?”

“Going to dinner…unless you don’t want to. I can leave if this is a bad time…”

“No, no – it’s fine. It isn’t your fault. Just let me get ready quick, and then we can head out. Feel free to take a seat in the living room, watch some TV, have a drink – whatever, make yourself comfortable,” Lauren cringed. What the fuck am I doing? He said he would leave. Make him leave!