#pushing thirty

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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The sun shone in from the window, dust particles dancing in its light. Cool air covered Derek’s exposed skin as he sat down in the scratchy chair next to his mom, pulling his legs up into the chair with him. 

“Mom, I messed up…” Derek sighed, his eyes burning with a well of held back tears, “I think I got Allison pregnant and now she has run off, probably terrified and confused. I don’t know what to do, this whole thing is a mistake, but she has to know I wouldn’t make her do this alone…right?”

Mrs. Langley remained silent, staring out the window into the garden outside.

“I…I don’t want to be with her. I can’t…I can’t be with her again. The divorce was for a reason…many reasons…but, then why is this happening? Why are we in this situation if we’re not supposed to be together…?” Derek mumbled, warm tears slipping from his eyes, “Please…just, just tell me what to do. Tell me what I need to do…I need my mom right now…”

Mrs. Langley kept her eyes fixed on the foliage, never once acknowledging Derek or his desperate pleas.

“I saw them in the garden you know…together. He doesn’t know, but I saw them,” Mrs. Langley rambled, her eyes narrowing slightly at the sight of a small bird fluttering about.

“What…mom, what are you talking about? I don’t understand…” Derek sniveled as he attempted to wipe away his steady stream of tears. 

“They were out there…they thought I didn’t know, but I knew. I saw them…I saw them…”   

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Lauren planted herself on a bar stool, the stubbly man placing himself next to her. She ignored his attempts to converse for a while, but eventually couldn’t dodge his efforts any longer.

“Don’t cha want to know how I knew you were lookin’ for Langley?” the man mumbled as he poured the rest of his drink in his mouth and attempted to grab Lauren’s shoulder, “I saw you, ‘bout a month ago come stumbling out of this place carrying shoes in your hand. Langley and his god damn woman parade lately! I didn’t think he had it in him!”

“Woman parade…?” Lauren coughed, trying to dislodge the lemon water she had just inhaled into her lungs.

“Hell yeah, 3 this month. You, that other blonde, and the brown-haired one,” the man slurred, “all coming and going like it’s a damn brothel. Oh shit…is it a brothel? Fuck…”

“Brothel??? You think I’m a prostitute???” Lauren spat.

“Well, hell, I dunno…I’m just an ol’ drunk spewin’ thoughts. I guess it don’t make much sense ‘cause the girls are the only ones coming and going. No other men, just him. Him and his woman parade…”

“Please stop saying that,”

“Jealous, are ya? Huh…I’ve seen you the least though, so that ain’t make a whole lotta sense,”

Lauren’s cheeks flushed, “I’m not jealous. I’m just…surprised, that’s all. And honestly, a little insulted. You did just insinuate that I was a prostitute after all!”

“Alright, fine,” the man sighed, “but I’m just sayin’, the other two keep comin’ and goin’ and you are the only one that I ain’t been seein’. And now you’re showin’ up here lookin’ for him and are actin’ all flustered like I just stole somethin’ from ya,”

“Okay, that is enough,” Lauren grumbled as she gripped the edge of the stool and heaved her body upwards, “I’m going to move seats now, and you’re going to stay here. I’m done with this conversation,”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to offend ya,” the man said between taking another drink, “and I never said it was a bad thing. It just means you’re different than the other two, maybe that’s good. But hey, what do I know…like I said, I’m just an ol’ drunk,”

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Lauren stared at the building from inside her car, unsure why she was here. Did she want to let him know about the voicemail? Did she want to tell him the truth? Did she just want to see him?

She folded her arms on top of her steering wheel, letting her forehead press hard against the sleeve of her sweater. The top layer of her hair moving lightly with the rhythm of the air conditioning vents, her mind rapid firing a thousand more questions.

It wasn’t until someone knocked on her window that her mind stopped spinning.

“ ‘cuse me miss, I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been starin’, and then you just kinda flopped over like a fish on its final leg. You lost ‘er somethin’?” a stubbly man slurred as he leaned against the car, steadying himself with his fingertips.

“Oh, uh…no…I’m, I’m quite alright,” Lauren stammered, lifting her head, unbuckling her belt and pushing open the door, “I’m just here to see someone…that’s all,”

“Well, I hope it ain’t Langley, cuz you just missed ‘em,”

“In that case, I guess I’ll just go inside and wait for him,” Lauren sighed, a small twinge of jealousy escaping. 

“And I’ll join ya…if you’re buyin’ that is!” the man laughed, only half-joking.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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The voicemail rattled into Lauren’s ear, her vision going blurry when she realized who it was from – Derek. He had accidentally called her instead of Allison.

Lauren stumbled backwards until her shoulder blades pressed against the exterior wall of the house, her body slightly trembling as her hand fell to her side. 

I’m pregnant with his baby. She is pregnant with his baby.

The two thoughts echoed repeatedly, until being interrupted by a loud crashing sound from inside the house. The sound startled Lauren, causing her to jump slightly out from the wall and break her trance.

She stayed still for a moment, listening closely for more, but the buzz of the porch light was the only thing she could hear. Confused and annoyed, Lauren made her way back to her car – the short walk, and heat from the beating sun, causing her mind to go blurry again.

The next present moment in her mind was when she realized she was staring at a brick wall from inside of her car, a neon green sign glowing in the corner of her eye, dulled by her tinted windows. It read, “Langley’s Place.”

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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After Lauren had finally managed to assure her grandmother that she was not only fine, but that she was not sleeping with Cullen, she reluctantly left her apartment. Lauren celebrated her small victory by trudging to the nearest stool and plopping her body down on it. Her head drooped until the base of her chin was resting on the island counter, the wood grain too coarse to be a comfortable resting place.

In this awkward position, Lauren noticed her phone blinking on the adjacent counter. Begrudgingly, she stood and lazily walked over to it. She had a voicemail from an unknown number. A cold sweat broke out along her back, her mind flashing to the previous night’s events. What if it was the person who was outsider her apartment? What if they were calling her?

She quickly threw on clothes, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door - being alone didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

Her brakes hissed lightly as she pulled up to Kate’s house, her phone still blinking from inside her purse. She knocked lightly on the door, hoping not to disturb a possibly sleeping baby. But to her surprise, Kate was not the one who opened the door. It was Allison.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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The soft hum of the porch light above echoed through the silent space between the two women, its harsh yellow light adding to the growing tension.

“Allison…um, hi…” Lauren swallowed, curling her toes tightly in her shoes as the awkwardness continued to build, “Is Kate home?”

Allison rolled her eyes and let out an audible sigh of irritation as she stepped onto the porch, yellow light washing over her as she closed the door behind her, “no.”

“Oh…okay…so, why are you here then..?” Lauren said cautiously, shifting her weight nervously.

“That is none of your damn business!” Allison grumbled before stepping back into the house and slamming the door in Lauren’s face. Lauren stood still in front of the door, the buzzing light above ringing in her ears. Instinctively, she reached for her phone inside her pocket to call Kate. It blinked back in response, the unknown caller’s voicemail appearing once again on the screen.

Lauren stepped away from the door, inhaled deeply, and pressed play. At least if it is the stalker, Allison is crazy and could probably defend me if it came to that…even if she is on the other side of the door and hates me.

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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When Lauren awoke in the morning, she wasn’t surprised to find Cullen gone. Although, she was more than surprised to find her grandmother perched on a stool in the kitchen.

“Ah, my darlin’ girl is finally awake,” Grammy Pom smiled, “I just didn’t have the heart to wake you, you looked like you needed the rest when I peaked in at you.”

“…peaked in at me?” Lauren questioned with a raised brow.

“Yes, peaked,” Grammy replied, “You don’t just get to disappear without a trace and then make me out to be the bad one. I was worried about you!”

“I’m sorry Grammy Pom, I should have reached out…I’ve just, been…well, working some things out,” Lauren sighed, the full reality of her situation consuming her brain once again.

“Hmm…working things out, or working yourself out…with Cullen? I saw him leave this morning, looking all guilty and disheveled,” Grammy smirked.

Lauren’s cheeks flushed bright red, her body suddenly burning up. She glanced at the floor, mortified by her grandmother’s incorrect observation.

“No Grammy,” Lauren said softly, still staring at the floor, “just working things out, things…”

“Mmmmmhmmmmm…” Grammy hummed, pursing her lips and raising her brow, “I’m sure.”

[miss-sassy-simmer]

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Cullen took her to a small café that was located near her apartment. She felt slightly overdressed.

Even though they hadn’t seen or spoken to one another in years, they had a hard time finding things to talk about. Lauren didn’t want to ask Cullen about his travels as that could lead down a path she wasn’t ready for. And Cullen didn’t want to bring his travels up for the same reason. They avoided asking one another about the past six years. All that left them with was their shared past – which was also obviously off limits – and their mothers. So mothers it was.

Fortunately, both of their mothers were easy to talk about as they were both spirited women that liked to overstep boundaries when it came to inserting themselves into their children’s lives. Cullen and Lauren shared many laughs over their crazy mothers – helping the evening to pass by quickly.

Their laughter and presence did not go unnoticed by other patrons. Out of the corners of their eyes they could both see the entire room staring, pointing, and whispering about them. Both Cullen and Lauren tried to ignore it, acting as if they didn’t notice what was happening. But then both of their phones started dinging and buzzing in their respective purse and pocket, and they could no longer ignore what was happening.

When Lauren finally glanced at her phone she had 42 notifications on a picture that her and Cullen were both tagged in. It was of them laughing at the table in the café.

“This is beyond weird,” Lauren choked, “I think we need to leave.” Cullen nodded in agreement and signaled for the waiter to bring him the check. Ordinarily, Lauren wouldn’t have let him pay – but she just wanted to get the hell out of that place.

Before they arrived back at her apartment, the picture had already reached 126 likes, had 37 comments, and had been shared 53 times.

“Should I report it?” Cullen asked, glancing at his own phone – watching the notifications flood his home screen.

“I don’t know,” Lauren grimaced, “But I think someone followed us here. Look out the window – is that someone with a camera?” A shiver traveled through Lauren’s body, she felt violated.

“What the hell – I think you’re right. Should I go out there? Should we call the police?”