#cursedfodlantexts

[cursedfodlantexts]

Hubert: A woman said to me the other day, “I hope you don’t die!”

Hubert: I didn’t put it together because I was wrecked before my morning coffee.

Hubert: It was so weird, it took me a second and it was so terrifying.

Hubert: I was walking around Garreg Mach and she said to me in passing, “I hope you don’t die!”

Hubert: I hope I don’t either. Do you know something I don’t know?

[cursedfodlantexts]

Annette: My dad told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 10.

Annette: Well jokes on him because I’m at the mall right now and guess who’s fucking here.

[cursedfodlantexts]

Lorenz: Why are you so anxious all the time?

Marianne: It’s the anxiety.

[cursedfodlantexts]

Byleth: I’m not white, I’m Nabatean!

[cursedfodlantexts]

Thales: It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming.

Thales: On days like these, kids like you…

Thales: Should be burning in hell.

[cursedfodlantexts]

Raphael: Hey Dimitri, could you help me out? I kinda… told everyone I was gonna throw a party to show off my brand new eight-pack abs.

Raphael: Only now Caspar keeps trying to get a sneak peek before the big premiere.

Caspar: I don’t understand what the big deal is! He’s ALWAYS talkin’ about how much he works out.

Caspar: How could his eight-pack NOT be ready? C'mon, Dimitri, what do you think?

Dimitri: I don’t think there’s any harm showing off early. Let’s see those abs!

Raphael: THEY’RE. NOT. READY!

[cursedfodlantexts]

Edelgard: Due to personal reasons I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.  

[cursedfodlantexts]

Edelgard: Oh good Scarlet, You’re not busy. 

Scarlet: Actually, Edelgard... I am busy.