For today
Exactly 5 years from now you popped up in my life, and then it all started there.
When we broke up I thought we just needed time and because I thought what he feels for me, for us, is just kind of some pms-ing. You know that temporary i-don't-want-to-be-with-you-anymore feeling but still you know we'll work out so I let him. To all the reasons he told me, I felt and thought that "yas, it's your fault angel, you should've known".
BUT it's different and I found out that he is checking out with another girl. Damn, right?! So everything I knew and he told me was BS. The anger and shit that I'm feeling that time was eating me but I don't want to feel that way. So I prayed, released all the tensions and decided to forgive him because what is the point of holding grudges? and let go.
I thought of us being friends so I kept my cool everytime we texted even if it's just for awhile. But I know that he don't want us to be friends.
"Magkakabalikan din kayo. Sus" Akala ko din. Pero iba na. Kasi ako kahit sa sarili ko alam kong iba na. It doesn't feel the same way anymore.
Last night, I checked all the pictures I have and watched the videos. Man, we had that craaaaaaaazzzyy kind of love for each other. By means of crazy, it means like "it's you and me, and the world." The way he looked at me, the way we kissed whenever and wherever we wanted, the way we acted like there's no one else in that place, the way we both have a crazy fight but still at the end of the day all we have was each other. While watching it, I want to feel that kind of bigat na you feel whenever something breaks you, something was lost, but it doesn't feel like that... I felt happiness inside and endless love to all the places we've been and to all the stuffs we had, and that happiness and love will always belong to him.
But at the same time it felt like it will be just a part of me, meaning, Our great love, will always be a part of us. Not a forever to hold on, but a forever to be kept. And I can say that I'm lucky to experience that kind of one great roller coaster ride love with that boy. I considered this not just a blessing or a lesson but a gift, a gift that even time can't erase. So that's what I'm talking about him giving me a "timeless" gift.
We've been through A LOT like we've been through a lifetime. We both grow up with each other but that doesn't mean will grow old together.
I'll repeat the saying.. "Feelings and emotions change but that doesn't mean if you don't feel the same way anymore, the love is gone. Because if love is a feeling then there is no such thing as lasting."
Our love, this one great love will always be here with me, and that's me taking part of making it last.
For today, ccheers!! As I celebrate another chapter of my life. No regrets! <3