Could you write some prompts of a guy realizing he’s in love and asking his best friend for help, since he’s never been in love before?
Absolutely, dearest Anonymous! Thank you so much for asking! I’m so, so sorry about how long it took for me to post this. Things are hectic sometimes.
I hope you enjoy these as much as I enjoyed writing them. As always, you’re more than welcome to switch any pronouns about to suit your whims. Little disclaimer: Any names used do not pertain to any person or character alive or dead. Do (or do away) with them as you please.
Another quick note: Some of them are ridiculously long. I apologize. I got a bit carried away. Also, if you want more, please ask!
- - - “Listen. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He stared hard at his friend, who didn’t seem to be paying much attention. (But perhaps it was better that way. He still wasn’t even sure if he wanted to think about this, let alone discuss it.) “I….I don’t know what I’m doing, and I need your help. I need….I need advice.”
“On what? Sorry, I didn’t catch that first bit.” His friend took out one of his earbuds, and quirked an eyebrow. “What are you doing that needs my help? If this is one of those DIY things, I told you I’m no good at workshop stuff. Go ask Nance, she’s a gearhead.”
“No, ah-….No, that’s not what I’m talking about.” He gnawed on his lip for a moment, quite seriously wondering if he should just drop the subject altogether. “Isn’t about workshop stuff. It’s…. It’s about….Uh. You have a girlfriend, don’t you? And you’re happy?”
“I need to know how you guys….Started. Y'know. Started….Started going out. How you knew that you….Uh….Gosh, help me out here, man. How you knew you, were, like, starting.“
“…Starting? Started what? You mean how we started dating?”
“No. No. Uh, started….Liking eachother. But not liking. Like-like liking.”
- - - “Gran,” He acknowledged, smiling as the old woman strolled into the room with a platter full of tea and shortbread cookies. “So, uh….” He took his cup with a grateful nod before continuing. “I’m really glad I could come and visit you. It’s been so long.”
“Oh, cut to the chase,” his grandmother snorted, before taking a long drink. “You live right across the street. It’s not like we couldn’t have texted.”
He tittered, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, uh….There’s….There’s this lass. Met her at uni last year, just before graduation.”
“Oh my stars, is that a blush I see? I suppose we’re going to be here a while. Might as well put on another kett-”
“Gran. Gran, this is….I just need some advice. I’ve….How do I say this? This isn’t just some passing fancy. I think I’m in love.”
“All the reason for more tea.”
- - - “She ain’t for you,” he barked. “She ain’t your type. I’m tellin’ ya.”
“No, no, I’m tellin’ you. She is. I feel it. But I don’t know how I’m feelin’ it. You get me?”
“Loud and clear, brother. But what you’re feelin’ ain’t love.”
“It isn’t? It….What do you mean? It’s gotta be.”
“What you’re feelin’ is stupidity.”
- - - Sincerely, me. Hah hah….P.S., you took psychology once, right? How would you diagnose love?
Would that sound stupid? It probably would if they were talking in person. But they weren’t. So maybe it was actually sort of funny…? Ugh. Who was he kidding? He moved to scribble out the last line, but stopped himself. His mind was so frazzled. He just needed to talk to someone about this. Someone that knew him. He cursed under his breath. Why did they have to be so far away? Why the heck did they have to live in the middle of nowhere? He was going mad. He needed to talk to them.
- - - “You’re a poet,” He declared, rubbing his temples. “You’re supposed to know all about this stuff.”
“I write haikus, not odes. It’s not my fault you went and fell. Stop beating me up over this! You’re acting like a child. You want me to define love? I’ll just record your babblings the next time you happen to talk with them. Then I’ll replay it over, and over, and over again until you realize that you’ve already defined it. Stop freakin’ asking me to help you, and just go do something about it.”
- - - “I just don’t get it.” He sighed and began fidgeting with the hems of his sleeves. “She’s not pretty. But I love her.”
The boy’s father chuckled, looking at him from beneath the brim of his wide hat. “Oh? Not pretty? Shoot, boy. Maybe one of the horses kicked you in the head without you realizin’.”
“No, they didn’t. I swear,” his son insisted, not quite catching the joke.
“I dunno what else to call it, papa. What do I do? Do I….Do I marry her now?”
He wasn’t sure why his father started chuckling. This was a very serious matter, wasn’t it?
- - - She grimaced. “Stop giving me that look.”
“That stupid you-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about look. Just….Stop.”
“I’m not giving you that look. I’m giving you the I-have-absolutely-no-idea-what’s-happening-and-frankly-I’m-quite-petrified look.”
“Pah. It can’t be that bad. Listen, all you have to do is-”
“It’s bad, Mills. It’s real bad.”
- - - For the whole period, the two exchanged notes underneath the table. For the most part, they were in near-undecipherable chicken scratch. (Something that they had perfected in order to avoid the prying eyes of their teacher.) But they still understood the basic concepts of what the other was saying. It went something along these lines:
I’m not helping you cheat on the test you idiot
No, not on the test, I need help with Jean
I’m not lending you my pants
DUDE you know what I meant
Why do you even flipping like them?
No, I don’t just like them
Don’t get angsty on me dude
This is serious, I’m going to have a mental breakdown if you don’t tell me what to freakin do
Dude that’s one of the things about having someone else. I can’t tell you what to do.
- - - “So what do you do if you’re in love?”
“You heard me, boss. What do you do if you’re in love? Is it the same thing as having a crush? Flowers and chocolates and little cheesy couplets on their desk or something?”
“Well….Uh….I…I don’t exactly know. I just….Uh, I guess? Maybe throw in a surprise visit or something?”
“…You’re as confused as I am on this, aren’t you?”
- - - He continued mopping the floor, but with every stroke, drew closer to his friend, whom of which was polishing the window. “So, uh, hey.”
“You know the patient in room 573?“
“How strictly are our no-intimacy-between-patient-and-staff-member rules?”
- - - ”….And with the Holidays right around the corner, I thought I’d ask ‘em out so they can meet my parents before all the craziness starts up again. Whatd'y'a think?“
“Listen, uh….What you’re planning is beyond sweet, mate. But you’re getting…ahead of yourself. You know what I mean? You shouldn’t just throw yourself at….Ugh, for goodness’ sakes. Do they even know your name?”
“No….But that’s besides the point. I know what this is now. You told me yourself. It’s love.”
- - - “….And then she said ‘I’d like to get to know you better.’ What kind of creepy line is that?”
“It’s not exactly….Creepy, per se, but it was definitely a line.”
“Oh gosh. She’s actually noticed me. I…don’t know about this. I love her. I really do. But….I just….I haven’t thought this all through. I was perfectly fine just admiring her from afar. But now she’s all in my face and now….Gosh, I love her even more. But I just….I don’t know how to deal with this. I can’t even talk to someone without sounding like an idiot. How the HECK am I supposed to convince her I’m not some antisocial wackadoo?”
“Okay, first of all, you’re not antisocial, you’re asocial. And secondly, being asocial doesn’t make you a….Whatever the heck you just said. And thirdly, just….Just let it go. Don’t force anything. But don’t run away from it, either. This isn’t something to be scared of.”