Lil'Mizz "When strong people cry."
I don't know how I've time to write, or the energy. I still owe another half-letter to Gwynn, as I'd rather she got a chance to read it before I go home. I'm upset, more- what's the word- pensive than upset?
It bothered me when Lav told me that by disobeying my mother, I'd dishonoured my family. It bothered me a lot. I was angry and I didn't want to come home. I drank because that's what people do when they're upset. I went to a bar because for a moment, I didn't want to be anything. I didn't want to be a child, or a noble woman. I didn't want to be under my mother's thumb and having her decide things that hurt so much. I didn't mean to bring dishonour.
I'm pensive because I see the Stroms fighting. Cuth hurt Lav to the point of crying the other night and for some reason he seems to hate us. I don't know why. I don't get to hear everything, but the few things he said when I was there made me so angry. He doesn't like that they were knighted. He commented on Lav taking me for a week as if she'd somehow betrayed her lineage.
Funny thing about betraying lineage. He ran off to join the Horsebloods. Orlaith says he's not even Strom- a child of Arathi, yes, Strom no. So then where does her feel entitled to comment upon her decisions or upon what we've done to honour the Stroms.
Everything we've done has been to honour them. We knighted them for their bravery and their ongoing support against the Eastern Shadow. We probably wouldn't have pushed them back if it wasn't for the Stroms. I fought with my own house to have their traditions honoured- took heat from everyone. I constantly butt heads with Brei on this issue, and I'll keep butting heads because it's the right thing to do.
Lav is one of the most important people in my life and all he sees is that we're nobles and somehow that on it's own is worthy of scorn. He is a bigot and I would tell him so if Lav hadn't asked me not to say anything.
I do not like when the Stroms fight and I dislike it even more when someone makes Lav cry.
Shame.
