#cv:mountaintemple

[seulgicv-blog]

defenseless --

@cvyoongi

seulgi heads for the mountain temple because it as far away from the school as she can get, reasonably, right now. she's outrunning the intrusions in her head, the incessant bickering that echoes between them, the memories that surge upwards unbidden and leak between the trio of them like some sick miasma.

she hates this.

she never wanted bonding - not even with taemin if she had thought it possible, to whom she would entrust her life, taemin who already knows her inside and out, the good and the bad. but yoongi? on top of all things, on top of all this, it had to be him? it feels like a cosmic joke, retributions for her many wrongdoings, some sick and twisted joke from a cruel god, who has looked at her in her broken state, patched together and barely holding on and has thought "ah yes, lets push her over the edge just to watch her shatter." yoongi has seen her vulnerable and undone more times than she cares to think about now, more times than she would ever be comfortable with.

the only thing that she still had to cling too was her secrecy, the walls she builds and the way she retreats from him, the veils she draws across her face, the obscured meaning of her words, the deflections and the lies and the cruelty. but now? now he has a window into her mind, into her heart, and he can see past every barb designed to hurt, every statement crafted to destroy, can tell precisely when she is vulnerable, when she is afraid. now he can know every motive behind every word and the idea of that is horrifying.  so she's run away from it, from him, to the top of the mountain, to wrap herself in solitude, as if distance will help her at all.

the buildings are old but well maintained, and she hides herself away in the biggest, lays down flat on her back against the soft, smooth wood, worn down by time, and lets her eyes flutter closed, fingers fumbling into the pocket of her hoodie for the joint she's tucked there, a blend of herbs that the apothecary has promised will clear her mind. they're probably making a fortune right now. she lights it up, fits it to her lips, a cloud of smoke exhaled into the air above her head when suddenly she can hear him, feel him, sense him, and there is a whine on her lips, frustration written on her features.

"if you followed me here, i will skin you alive and set you on fire."

[seulgicv-blog]

solace.

@cvwheein

seulgi so often makes her life more complicated than it needs to be, in one way or another. it seems to be something innate in her that she cannot control, a fire that rages in her chest and threatens to consume. she’s been through therapy and received diagnosis after diagnosis for what, it would turn out later, was probably part of the struggle of having a crazy set of parents, a proclivity to anxiety and mental instability, and the struggle of coming into her magic at a relatively young age. 

as the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter of a long and powerful line of witches the expectations laden on slender shoulders were immense. she was supposed to be this pinnacle of might, redoubled power, brilliant and of course she ought to be beautiful and perfectly behaved and charming and clever on top of all that. obviously this didn’t pan out quite perfectly, leading to her essential exile and, eventually, to baridegi. that, at least, was a blessing. 

sometimes she wonders, though, if there really is something innately wrong with her. if there is something flawed and broken and tarnished. there have always been rumors about her family, of dark magics and of her, too. of how she was born far too late in her mother’s life for that to have been normal. rumors that there was magic at play and rumors, later, that perhaps that was what had warped her in some way, before she had a chance. or maybe that was just a convenient way to blame her problems on someone else.  these are the kind of idle thoughts that cloud her mind as she treks and teleports in turn up to the mountain temple, nestled at the highest peak of the mountain upon which the school is situated, strange statues decorating the grounds and a still peacefulness that calmed her- although the joint in her hand probably helped, in fairness. she glances sidelong as steps approach, a quiet smile fluttering over her features as she patted the wood beside her, feet dangling off the platform to graze against the ground. “come sit. want a hit?” she offers quite magnanimously.