pregnancy diaries: cotton candy
summary: the journey of motherhood is never easy from the first morning sickness to when the water suddenly breaks. such precious yet arduous nine months deserve to be recorded for memories.
character/s: bonten!sano manjiro
warnings: f!reader, mature language, hints of pregnant sex, nipple play, lactation kink, reader gets anxious, pregnancy, mentions of violence, mikey keeps a gun under his pillow, fluff, and use of pet names. Minors do not interact.
masterlist
wc: 4.1k
MONTH 0: WEEK 3
Dear pumpkin,
Your daddy and I just found out you’re already making a home in my tummy this morning. Amazing how things escalated, but we’re not complaining at all. I never thought you were the reason as to why I was suddenly feeling sick, thinking it was the sushi we ate the previous week. But turns out, I’m the only one feeling this way. The doctor told me you’re the size of a poppy seed right now. You’re so tiny… Can’t wait to hear your heartbeat angel and have sonograms of you. Your daddy is just as excited as I am. We all are, especially his colleagues. Love you so much, pumpkin.
“The lady back in the clinic, she told you to do this?” Manjiro peeked past your shoulder to see what you have written on paper. Hand absentmindedly rubbing your stomach, you hummed in agreement with a soft smile gracing your lips. Thoughts slightly distracted at the idea of a small life now growing inside of you, a product of you and your husband’s love. That and the endless nights of leaving Bonten’s headquarters earlier than the rest to have fun. While Manjiro never told you he wanted children this early, he was never opposed to the idea at all. Although, it did come as a surprise after today’s visit to the nearby clinic. And despite how hard he tried to remain emotionless, you definitely caught your husband shedding and wipe a tear out of happiness while he held your hand as the doctor announced your pregnancy.
“She said she did this with her firstborn many years back.” Relaxing into his palm that held the back of your neck, you watched as his onyx eyes read the words you wrote. A ghost of a smile on his lips. “I thought the idea is a good one. Not only for, you know, memories but for our little pumpkin, too. Something for them to read…”
“Pumpkin?”
You nodded. “Yeah, isn’t it a cute nickname? It’s better than to give them an odd one just to be unique, ‘ya know?”
“Would you also be writing that you’ve caused the scarcity of ice cream at the nearby 7-eleven?”
Whether he was joking or not, you couldn’t tell with the way he sounded so serious. Either way, you pouted at his words and crossed your arms together. “Wow, as if I’m the only one who ate ice cream these past few days.” Brow raised at him, you then squinted your eyes at your silent husband avoiding your piercing gaze. “I know you’re the one who ate my Häagen-Dazs, ‘Jiro. There’s no point in lying or dodging this.”
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, angel.”
MONTH 1: WEEK 5
Dear little pumpkin,
Today was pretty unpredictable. I went to the clinic feeling a bit sad since your daddy said he might not make it to hear your heartbeat. If you will ask me why, please be patient since it isn’t something kids should know. Still, I will tell you once it is the right time. But just as I was about to head in, your daddy arrived with your Uncle Sanzu, as he would like to be called, in tow. Once again, I’ll tell you in full detail soon how chaotic it was. What matters is that we heard your adorable heartbeat. Your daddy cried at the sound of it and I did, too. You’re definitely growing day by day, my angel.
Eyes wide, your mouth was agape at the abrupt entrance of your husband and his right-hand man, Sanzu Haruchiyo. Blood splatters on their attire close to gleaming under the white light of the clinic. The mothers outside waiting for their turn along with their husbands were clearly suspicious and alarmed by their appearance. Who wouldn’t be at the sight of Bonten’s higher-ups and the evidence of their recent carnage in the clothing they wore? However, nothing mattered at that moment other than Manjiro's presence and the effort he had to exert to be here.
“I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to text you that I’ll be here,” Manjiro whispered, placing a kiss on your cheek before you were asked to lay on the bed. Those steely dark eyes never leaving you, ready to pounce on anyone who’d be stupid enough to hurt you while he’s around. “Was too caught up on getting here on time. Won’t happen again on the next visits, I swear.”
“It's okay, love. I’m just happy you’re here now,” you murmured, left hand in his and fingers intertwined with a squeeze. A comforting smile is what you shot him upon seeing how rigid his stance is while sitting on the stool beside you. “Don’t worry too much, ‘Jiro…”
“How can I not?” he whispered, still following your obstetrician’s every move. “You know I have a lot of enemies, angel—” The rest of his words died down when the hem of your shirt was lifted by the doctor. His thoughts were drowned by the initial fear of his enemies bursting through the door that Haruchiyo was guarding like an unmovable force. That was all that occupied and ran through his mind until a heartbeat broke through his noisy state of mind. Onyx irises locked with yours that were glassy as the sound of your baby’s heartbeat resounded in the four walls of the room. His grip on your hand tightened, although not painful or uncomfortable in any way. No, it was out of relief and other combinations of emotions that came out in the form of teardrops. “Angel, is that…?”
MONTH 2: WEEK 7
Dear darling pumpkin,
My love for you grows stronger as the days pass by. It hasn’t been easy waking up and feeling squeamish. Everything is changing, specifically mommy’s body to accommodate your nine-month stay. Sometimes, I eat food paired oddly that I normally wouldn’t even consider putting near my mouth. Thankfully, your daddy doesn’t say a word about it. You may see him as aloof at times, but he truly cares for us. This morning during breakfast, a rare sight of him cooking pancakes greeted me. And despite how he is rarely home due to the nature of his job, he comes back as much as he can and earlier than the usual times I’ve gotten used to seeing him. He can’t help but get excited to feel you kick soon. I kind of dread it though, cause some mothers say it will hurt at times. However, if it means you are healthy, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
You stifled a gasp, head buried further into the pillow. Sweat coated the flesh under your chin. Sensitive—your breasts were super sensitive that you were quite sure if Manjiro would pinch them one more time, you’d cry out. Heavy was his gaze, hands cupping and fondling your tits. This wasn’t a new occurrence since your husband has always been fixated on them ever since. What was new, however, was the idea of tasting milk from them once you were lactating revolving in his mind among other things. No matter how many times you told him it hasn’t happened yet, Manjiro couldn’t stop massaging your nipples.
“Love, I-I need to pee…”
“Wait,” he murmured, leaning down to suck on one of the peaks, eliciting a muffled whine from you. The heels of your feet digging into the mattress at the touch of his tongue, hot breath awakening goosebumps on the flesh. “Lemme play more. Don’t you miss me?” Mouth pressing a chaste kiss on your left tit, he grinned down at your flustered expression. “Weren’t you just complaining that they’ve become tender?”
“Yeah, but…” Softly hissing, you fought back a moan when he popped the breast into his mouth, sucking on it gently. Ignorant to your nudges for him to leave you alone so you could pee. “‘J-Jiro, I really, really, need to go.”
MONTH 3: WEEK 9
Dear precious pumpkin,
Sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night because I worry about your future. Your Uncle Sanzu blames it on the prenatal pills, but I hardly think that is the cause. I guess it is one of the many things I have to get used to now that I’ll have a child. Plus, there are times when I look in the mirror and see the effects of lack of sleep… It makes me sad. Lucky for me, your daddy has been nothing but supportive. No one at his organization believes he got out of bed at four in the morning to buy the cup of pudding and chilly sauce I wanted to snack on. The doctor said you’re about the size of a macaroni or an olive. Crazy to think a tiny being like you is making all these changes in me. I hope you’re growing well and healthy inside, angel.
Manjiro was close to throwing the mirror you were holding up to your face across the room or out the window and down to the busy streets of Tokyo. There was nothing wrong with getting acne or your stomach slightly bloating. To him, you were the prettiest woman he had ever laid eyes on and will always be until the end of time. But of course, you wouldn’t take his words for truth which frustrated him. And to think you were just doing your routine skincare before bed that led to this situation.
“Love, do you think I’m—”
“You’re not ugly. Practically fucking far from it, angel.” Taking his shirt off, your husband narrowed his eyes when you frowned in disbelief. It wasn’t until he threw his shirt on the nearby basket that he spoke up again, this time, his tone was more solemn. “Why on earth would you, my wife and the one carrying my child, ever be hideous in my eyes? Huh? It doesn't make sense. Explain that to me.”
“I don’t know…” you sniffled softly, warm tears starting to form and blurring your vision. Hand setting the mirror down that Manjiro was quick to pick up and flung it to the couch. It was a miracle it didn’t shatter with the way he threw it like it was mere dirt. Strong arms envelop your form, albeit not tight enough to cause discomfort for he was afraid to hurt you or the baby. Figure melting into his embrace, you inhaled the faint scent of the fabric softener from his shirt. “Sorry if I’m so emotional.”
“It’s alright, love.” Body pulling back slightly to grab your hand, he pressed a kiss on your knuckle. “Don’t ever think I’d see you as ugly because you’re fuckin’ beautiful. Especially now that you’re having my baby, angel. So fucking beautiful.” Hand patting your belly, he added in a more light-hearted tone. “And so is our baby.”
MONTH 4: WEEK 15
Dear adorable pumpkin,
Your daddy and I were super happy today. Not only do we get to eat at a delicious restaurant to celebrate such a momentous occasion, but we finally got to see you, my angel. As you can see in the photo below, you’re so cute and I wish I could hold you soon. The doctor said you’re the size of a pear and your daddy couldn’t help but marvel at the fruit, holding and imagining it’s you. I hope you could also hear him talk to you every night. I can’t wait to know whether you’re a girl or boy, but that doesn’t matter much to me for as long as you stay healthy. Love you so much, my sweet angel.
Looking at the sonogram of your baby, you winced when a tingling sensation ran in your gums as you chewed on the apple slices your husband prepared. Rim of the glass of water against your lips, you set the photo down and got up from the couch to look for Manjiro. The craving for ice cream, cotton candy and juice was aggravating you, especially since you were asked to cut back from the sugary stuff. The sight of your husband by the refrigerator snacking on a taiyaki made you groan in jealousy that caught his attention.
“What’s the matter?”
“Lucky you could continue eating sweets,” you mumbled, nearing the refrigerator to grab the leftover salad. Heading back to the living room couch with Manjiro in tow, you raised a brow when he didn’t sit next to you. Chewing and swallowing the avocados, lettuce, and strawberries, you raised a brow at him. “What? Come and sit down, ‘Jiro. I won’t bite. Wanna watch a movie?” Not waiting for his response, you grabbed the remote and switched the television on. Careful not to step on your toes or breathe the wrong way in your direction, your husband settled next to you.
Despite how quiet he is the entire duration of the film, he was thankful the deities above heard his prayers for once. The last time he annoyed you by just eating his sweets on the couch was the worst, having him evicted to sleep in the guest room.
MONTH 5: WEEK 18
Dear pumpkin,
I hope you are sleeping soundly in there. Sometimes, I feel like you’re trying to say something to me since I feel a sort of bubbling or fluttering inside my belly. Are you happy there? You’re getting bigger indeed and I can’t help but feel emotional every time. Daddy vows to keep you safe, especially now that I’ve become bigger and sometimes my lower back hurts. I can’t even believe I almost forgot about our anniversary. The doctor did say it is part of being pregnant that I tend to become forgetful. I just wish I wouldn’t get so dizzy easily. And if you must know, I decided to ask the doctor to keep your gender a secret in the end. Your daddy and I wanna be surprised after all. One of his friends told us to hold a gender reveal party, but your daddy loves his privacy like he loves his sweets. I hope you stay healthy as ever, my angel.
Manjiro wiped off the sheen of sweat from your forehead and chin using a washcloth. A satisfied smile on his usual passive features mirrored yours after a round of kissing and more. The dress you wore for tonight lay folded on top of his clothes. The gold Cartier bracelet he gifted you gleamed under the warm lamp light. Chest rising and falling to a steady pace, you reached up to cup his cheek, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to him. He pressed a kiss to your hand. Your husband then ran his palm smoothly on your belly. His black irises roved across your skin, caressing the stretch marks that streaked on your abdomen.
“You okay? Do you think the baby is alright?”
“Yeah, I’m more than fine. I’m sure the baby is, too.” Pointing to the direction of the bathroom, you slowly sat up. “I have to pee—mmph.” Carrying you in his arms gently, Manjiro didn’t say a word after he gave you a chaste kiss on the lips as he walked to where the toilet is. “I could get there by myself, you know. But thank you.” You giggled at his show of strength, arms wrapped around his neck and pecked him there. He merely hums in approval.
MONTH 6: WEEK 23
Dear little pumpkin,
There may be nights when bad guys might be out and about. But no matter what, I will keep you safe. Away from harm and silly ghosts that might try and scare you. However, we both have to be brave when we need to be. Your Uncle Sanzu suggested that we get a guard dog, but I think getting you a puppy once you’re a bit older to understand would be better. Plus, I don’t think your daddy is ready to welcome a puppy into the penthouse just yet. You’re a bit heavy now and it is sometimes hard to walk with swollen feet so your daddy is worried about my safety. Yesterday, I felt you kick hard in the middle of the night, which got me all giddy that your daddy got a bit spooked. You do pick the strangest moments to make yourself know, huh. Love you my darling.
“Woah, calm down.” You then sighed, rubbing your startled husband’s back after squealing out of delight at feeling your baby’s strong kick. The gun in his hand glistened under the moonlight, one he kept religiously under his pillow if anyone decided to sneak up on him while he was asleep. According to him, it has happened before—way back when he was still starting out Bonten. Thankfully, it hasn’t occurred since. But one can never be careless. Watching the way Manjiro tried to calm himself down and place the weapon into the nightstand’s drawer, you waited for his breath to even out. “Sorry if I scared you, love. I was… just excited.”
His eyes turned to look at you before asking. “What got you squealing in the middle of the night?” His voice was hoarse from sleep, eyes still squinted until you guided one of his hands to your huge belly. The bright grin on your face said it all. Happiness is certainly contagious that those soulless eyes had a tiny spark in them, fatigue immediately dissipating.
“I felt the baby kick, ‘Jiro. It was a strong one, too.”
“Really? Do you think it’s as strong as mine?”
“If it were, I’d have a hole in my tummy.”
MONTH 7: WEEK 26
Dear sweet pumpkin,
A few more months to go and you’ll be here in my arms. The doctor said you’re about the same size as a red cabbage. She also said you’ll be able to hear and see inside my tummy. After knowing that information, I’m sure you’ve been listening to the classical music I’ve been playing. Upon searching on the internet, it’s supposed to make you smarter. Your daddy is always looking forward to feeling you kick. I do wish he is around more often around this time of the year. But I can’t blame him since his job can be demanding. I hope you don’t feel lonely like me and enjoy the food I’ve been eating to keep you healthy. Love you so, so, much my little angel.
Feet aching and swollen, you shot a glance at your husband speaking with Sanzu and Kakucho. The bento box you made for you and Manjiro sat on the coffee table, still untouched. The trip to his office was an uneventful one, yet you were buzzing with joy upon riding the elevator up to where he is. However, you weren’t anticipating the meeting to take longer than planned. Hiding your discomfort was futile as a hiss of pain left your lips when you tried to move and get comfortable. Manjiro’s eyes were immediately on you, excusing himself to approach you and get on his knees to apply pressure on your swollen right foot.
“Angel, does it hurt so much?”
Seeing the lingering gazes of the two higher-ups of Bonten, you coughed. Silently hinting for Manjiro to stand up from his kneeling position. But that didn’t matter to him, brows pinched as he added more pressure to where it ached, having you almost moan out in contentment. Kakucho was the first to notice his boss’ sharp glance, quickly leaving the room. Sanzu, on the other hand, had the audacity to stay for two more minutes until your husband stood up and gestured to the door. Apologizing softly at the retreating pink-haired executive, you sighed in relief when there were no more judgemental eyes, back sinking further into the couch. Manjiro let out a puff of air at your actions, shaking his head lightly before resuming his massage on your foot.
“‘Jiro, that can wait. We must eat lunch first,” you muttered, yet lacked the conviction to have him stop completely which he noticed. “I bet you’re starving. You did skip breakfast to get here early…”
“Yeah, just let me finish this,” he murmured, continuing the kneading of your foot that produced more soft groans and asking him to do it harder from you. If anyone were to pass by, they’d think you two were having sex instead of a wholesome scene between husband and wife.
MONTH 8: WEEK 30
Dear lovable pumpkin,
Your daddy is such a silly man at times. You’re still in my tummy yet he wishes to give you a sibling so you wouldn’t be lonely while growing up. And while I’m opposed to the idea, I want to love you with all of my heart first as I will do so for your future siblings if there would be any. It is quite hard to walk around the penthouse because you’ve become so big and heavy. I look like a penguin waddling around, but your daddy says it is a cute sight to see. It won’t be long until you’re here with us. Everyone is so excited that Koko, one of your father’s friends, gifted us baby clothes. Suggested names for you were tossed onto the table, but it is quite hard to decide since we did keep your gender a secret. Please continue to be healthy, even if that means you kicking my tummy most of the time at night. I love you so much, my baby.
Mewling into the neck of Manjiro, you then let out a gasp when something leaked out of your breasts after he pinched your nipples. Many nights have passed since you were able to sleep peacefully. Backaches, more stretch marks, swollen feet, and the baby kicking was enough to keep any pregnant woman awake most of the night. Now that you were lactating, your tits were far more sensitive than ever. Your husband didn’t share the same bothered sentiment as you, contented in kneading and tasting the milk you were producing in the wee hours of dawn.
“Love, I-I don’t think I could take it anymore,” you sobbed, trying to pry off his hands from pinching your nipples until they were rock hard. “Aren’t you t-tired? You’ve been at it since we got to bed!” A stuttered breath from you met the skin of his neck when he leaned down to lick off the milk that dripped down to his hands. It was such an obscene sight that would have your hormones acting up, leading down to the path of soft sex but not tonight. You were far too exhausted for that now. “P-please? ‘Jiro, let’s g-go to bed.”
“Fuck. More, baby, let me see these tits leak one more time. Yeah? Just one last time and we’ll sleep.”
MONTH 9: WEEK 39
To my dear pumpkin,
These past few months have been the most magical I’ve ever experienced. Who knew having a baby was such an amazing thing? But I won’t deny how terrifying it can be, especially when the world you’re about to be born in is far from the common life that an ordinary mother can provide. Yet, know this… Mommy and daddy won’t give up on trying to give you a normal life, one that you deserve to have. Your father swears that he will keep you safe as he promised me back then, too. And I promise to be the best mother you could ever have. Time flies so fast indeed that I can’t believe we’ll be welcoming you soon. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms, my little pumpkin. Your daddy is even giddier than I am, although he tries hard not to show it since I tease him. I hope that once you read this diary of our journey together, I hope it shall not only bring a smile to your face, but to those with whom you’ll share it.
See you soon, my darling angel!
“Say hi to the baby, angel,” Manjiro cooed, holding up his daughter wrapped in cloth. Smiling brightly at the baby girl, you reached out a hand to caress her hand that was wrapped around her father’s finger. Tears brimmed your vision. You fought back a sob as took in her tiny appearance. Eyes memorizing the curve of her lips and the shape of her eyes.
“Hi, pumpkin… It’s me, your mother.” Manjiro handed you the child, the corners of his lips curled up in undiluted happiness while he bent down to kiss your forehead and face multiple times. Love in every peck and whisper of you doing a good job after ten hours of labor. The pride in his chest was at an all-time high. “You’re so small and so beautiful. Yeah, look at you. She’s so beautiful, ‘Jiro.”
“Beautiful indeed,” Manjiro said in a hushed tone, still pressing kisses to your face. “My two angels. Thank you, baby. Thank you for giving me a beautiful daughter.”
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