#cybug humor

[rabidleroydotlol]

Cybugs Eating Random Things, pt 2 - Popcorn Kernels

A little baby cybug hatches out of an egg and discovers it is in a field of popcorn kernels, somewhere deep in the Sugar Rush wilderness. With nary a care in the world, it begins chewing on the kernel, its shell beginning to mimick the exterior of the kernel, golden and glossy. However, as it chews and munches down every kernel in its path, the baby cybug discovers it’s unbearably hot, and doesn’t feel very healthy as it should… POP. The baby cybug meets its untimely end as a flowery popcorn bloom.

[rabidleroydotlol]

Easter Hunt Gone Wrong

The Sugar Rush racers are gathered in a large hilly meadow, with cotton candy shrubs dotting the fields. All are holding a conversation about the egg hunt, with Vanellope as the ringleader.

Vanellope: And as with every egg hunt, whoever finds the most eggs gets to help me host the great feast at the end of the day, what do you say, racers?

They joyfully respond with happy cheers, and so starts the hunt. However, Gloyd is the first to find an egg somewhere in the field. However, the egg bears suspicious qualities.

Gloyd: Hey Vanellope, I found this egg, what sort of egg is it?

Vanellope: This doesn't look like a typical peppermint swirl egg...

The egg twitches; Gloyd drops the egg and both racers back away a great distance. The egg hatches, and out comes a baby cybug.

Gloyd: Awww, its so cute, I want to give it a hug!

Vanellope: No hugs! RUN!

And so starts again the whole chase again.

[rabidleroydotlol]

Cybugs are Pests, p2

Thanksgiving, 8pm. The entire squadron of Marines are ushered in the mess hall; a lot of work has gotten into preparing the meals, albeit between Cybug-shooting sprees. Calhoun has decided to consider carving the turkey for this dinner. Following the troops' "amen"...

Calhoun: Okay, canaries, which one of you is worthy of getting the first slice?

Just when Calhoun is about to carve the first slice...

Markowski: Uhm, sarge? Did we double check the mess hall for any runaway Cybugs from the previous mission?

Calhoun: Stop fussing over those pests, Markowski.

Much to the troops' surprise, the turkey shifts a little across the table.

Kohut: This doesn't sound very appetising.

Calhoun: We did take all the necessary precautions to have this Thanksgiving turkey prepared according to food safety guidelines. What's the worst that could happen?

Much to their horror, the turkey is actually a mutated Cybug, who has eaten the turkey roast earlier and now seeks further prey — the troops at Hero's Duty. Calhoun, with trigger reflexes, loads her weapon and shoots at the Cybug. Within second, the Cybug is shot to pieces. Bite size pieces. The entire squadron stare at what has become of their dinner, and then at Calhoun.

Calhoun: Great, now we're facing a dilemma! Either we risk our lives picking any scarce protein off that cybug carcass or we dine on MREs for the rest of the night!

Markowski: Are Cybugs even edible?

And cue the sound of loud shell crunching around the mess hall.

Random Marine 1: This turkey tastes like plastic exoskeleton and microchips!

Random Marine 2: Worst Thanksgiving ever!

Kohut: Be thankful that we didn't become Cybug dinner.