Chris Zito Unofficial Official Timeline (will update over time)
BZ = Before Zito; AN = After Nationals
5 BZ: Hollow Knight
The Tang claims Gorb’s life. PointyBoi writes a journal on how to hunt curves. Gorb’s spirit lends its knowledge to young Pointy in his quest for all the curves. Pointy’s quest leaves him to Bretta, but she rejects him for her love for Karapis. Pointy is distraught in his failure, and sets out in mindless pursuit for curves, knowing he will never find another set of curves as perfect as Bretta.
0 AN: Nationals
Coach Zito takes young Pointy in under his wing and begins the quest for Nationals. Pointy continues his search for curves. Gorb is reborn, and Zito recruits him to the team. Gorb’s father is displeased; rather, he will be if he finds out. Gorb’s endless demands for Happy Meals and potty breaks quickly land him on the bench. Zito wins Nationals, but Pointy is slain in the process, saying he must return after his resurrection, as he enjoyed the Afterlife, being free of his quest for curves.
10 AN: Slothmun
John Slothmun offers Coach Zito and the kids a ride to 5 Guys on his way to Kohl’s for khakis. Slothmun drives them into the ocean by accident. There were no survivors.
5000 AN: Squibs
When I said no survivors, I meant it. Slothmun’s car was fitted with an antimatter reactor. Upon falling into the ocean, the antimatter comes in contact with water (AKA matter) and an explosion wipes out all intelligent life on Earth. A few millennia later, the Squibs evolve into existence. They use the words “squib” and “woomy” in a very Smurf-esque style. They’re super woomy.
20000 AN: Owlboy
Gorb decides “well, the squibs didn’t work out. Let’s try owls,” and thus rends the Earth asunder, destroying the world below and sending fragments of land into the sky. He makes Otis mute so he won’t have the same speech “issues” Gorb had. Things go poorly.
