In tribute to Alola's perversion of the natural order, language is also a sloppy affair. Nothing is known by the right name.
Meet Bewear:
The red panda.
Or ham in a catsuit.
Sandygast has a shovel in his head:
Technically that's a trowel, but they mean a spade. Children don't build sandcastles with buckets and shovels.
A Z-Crystal:
Only glass shatters so easily.
Which is a bracelet.
Here's a Z-Ring:
And what's this 'Zee Rings'? Zed Rings sounds a lot more badass.
Too scary for modern kids.
Yeah, but what rhymes with 'zee'?
Twee!
Wee!
What rhymes with 'zed'?
DREAD!
DEAD!
They play 'Pokémon base':
What's that then? Double bass? Drum and bass?
Don't be ridiculous. This is music in Alola:
Incest has terrible consequences.
I remember Bases. It's a den dug in a wall, decorated with Lilycove products, but most contain bottomless pits of oblivion.
Another ingenious design from Game Freak.
It's the inbreds' cack-handed attempt at a sport. Teams are half livestock as much of the human population is rendered unfit from various genetic abnormalities.
What, rounders, or, for the Septics, 'baseball'?
Third Generation bastards: I checked every likely spot in Hoenn, just for one structurally safe location, and then -
Shut up!
That's right. 'Ball' is forbidden. 'Base' by itself it much clearer terminology.
How come when Casey was a fan baseball was:
A. Called 'baseball'
B. Played by men and men alone?
This is Pokémon School:
About time an' all. Handwriting these days is atrocious. I haven't understood a single printed word since 4Kids stopped doing the dub.
Not that kind of school.
No tests.
No subjects.
No uniform.
No discipline.
No pupils but these six.
No teachers but that gonk Cuckoo.
No information that couldn't be learned out on the road.
Nothing Ash won't forget and have to relearn in every future region.
Not a school then. A youth club with no snooker table.
Ah well, keeps 'em off the glue.
Said so-called educational cesspit is run by the Ronseal'd headmaster, 'Principal Oak':
Jimmy Savile up to his old mischief again.
And Popplio blows balloons:
...
IT'S BLOODY BUBBLES!!!