His blue eyes were shining golden as he looked at her.
‘I am your gun.’
On his knees, head half bent, just enough to show deference. A part of her wanted to step back, to think, to see all angles of her decision. But she had already decided. No turning back now.
‘I am your gun.’
She had guns, she had shields, she could have an army at her beck and call if only she wished. She already had people sworn in her service, she had those willing to die if she ordered them to - and how many people had lost their lives because Shepard demanded it? Too many! - no, she didn’t need Garrus to be her gun.
“No,” she said, staring at his eyes, still golden, still waiting, “I have another task for you, but it’s completely voluntary, it’s not an order, it’s not something I can demand of you.” Unbidden, the thought of ’marry me’ filled her head but there would be time for that later. Hopefully.
“I already have guns, General Vakarian, I want you as my partner.” Her hands were shaking, so she closed them into fists, her palms sweaty, her mouth dry. This wasn’t something she could demand of him, not for all the stars in the galaxy.
It was impossible to say when she noticed she loved him, between the fighting and the siege on Collector Base, between tearing the galaxy apart just to protect it and make it whole again. It was impossible to say when the cocky general had nestled himself into her heart, but by the void, he had.
“Major?” The slight tilt of his head, the confusion on his words. And his eyes were still golden, one way or another they were gonna leave this meeting with a promise. And she wanted him. In whichever way he would let her want him.
“I shouldn’t propose this to you, the chain of the Citadel is tight around both our necks, but I will. I want you as my partner, be it as friends or as lovers, I want you in my life Garrus Vakarian.”
“We would have to hide,” he said, getting up from his knees, both on even ground, despite the fact he towered over her.
“I know.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then we’ll never speak of this again.”
“And if I don’t want to hide? You? Us?”
“Sir?” It had been ages since she called him that, since he made her question her beliefs and actions.
“You know I don’t care for Citadel rules, Shepard,” the way he said her name, gentle, like a caress, sent shivers down her spine, “I won’t hide whatever it is we have, not from the Citadel Empire, not from your soldiers, not from anyone.”
She could feel her nails biting her palms, idly she thought it was going to leave a mark. “If you want me, you’ll have the whole of me, you know I don’t do things halfway.”
“We never did.” She smiled at him, her fists loosening, it wasn’t a yes, but it was more than she had a minute ago.
“Then I’m yours, my heart is in your hands, do with it what you will,” he smiled at her, bending forward slightly as he nuzzled her head, it was the closest they had been in a week. “I’m your gun, your shield, whatever you’ll have me as.”
“I want everything.”