He’s honestly a little baffled
You really both took precautions to make sure you wouldn’t end up pregnant too soon
Maybe you’d slipped up a little after the wedding
But he definitely feels a mix of emotions as he stares at the positive pregnancy test
He’s a little excited, somewhat happy, and lowkey terrified
But he looks up at you and sees the nervous smile on your face and the way you’re fidgeting with your sleeves
And a smile tugs at his lips as he tells you he’s excited to have a baby with you
You would be slow telling people, wanting to savour the news for a while
His initial fears would calm down but as your belly grew bigger he’d get more and more anxious
He marveled at the way life was growing inside of you
And at how you were handling your pregnancy with so much grace and level headedness
And he knew you would be a wonderful parent, but he really wasn’t sure he’d be a good father
He’d keep the fear to himself and focus his nervous energy on you
Cue a pile of texts every day to check up on you
Lots of “have you eaten?” and “do you need me to pick you up anything?”
You let him take care of you even tho you don’t need it
You know it makes him feel better
And you can tell he’s nervous even if he doesn’t say it
He knows when the due date is
And you’ve told him that your water could break any time in the last few weeks
And yet you’re 38 and a half weeks and your water breaks and you go into labor
And he’s lowkey panicking
On the outside and to all the doctors and nurses he seems quiet and composed
But you can see all of his nervous ticks and the way he’s overly quiet as he overthinks things in his mind
You pull him onto the hospital bed with you and hold his hands
And you get him to talk to you
And all of his fears start to spill out as it all becomes more and more real
And you listen and reassure him
It honestly makes him feel a lot better when you tell him you wouldn’t be having a baby with him if you didn’t believe in his ability to parent
You remind him it’s all going to be a learning experience and you’ll learn together
He frowns as your contractions get closer together
He doesn’t like seeing you in pain but you assure im it will be fine
As you start to push he does his best to focus
His job is to be supportive and hold your hand and he does even as you squeeze it in a death grip
He’s overwhelmed with love when he sees his son for the first time
He’s utterly speechless as he falls in love in an instant
He really cannot fathom this little baby that is now a part of his life
He’s so wrapped up in his little boy so quickly
You notice that unless you can’t in that moment, never picks up his son
The first week is full of so many moments of Jihoon staring over the edge of the crib with a loving smile on his any time the baby is napping
But he rarely pick him up, instead calling you when he gets fussy unless you’re busy or sleeping
You do call him out on it and see his nerves as he admits how scared he is about holding him
His baby is so small and fragile and what if something goes wrong or he slips or gets to fussy and wiggly
Jihoon cares so much and he’s really afraid that he’ll do something wrong
You teach him how to pick up and hold his baby securly
And he finds himself overcome again as his baby boy smiles up at him
From there on, if Jihoon is home, his son is in his arms
Your little baby always settles and sleeps so well when he’s being carried
He always smiles in his sleep and it warms Jihoon’s heart
He likes to chat with him and coo to his son
And sometimes, when he thinks you’re sleeping
He’ll sing the songs he’s been working on
It seems all he can write these days are lullabies
