#dad solo

[hackedbyawriter]

HOT TAKE BUT:

FINN SOLO

[luke-shywalker]

The Birth of Ben Solo: Excerpt from Aftermath: Empire’s End

[askbensolo]

Yeah, I tried that, but…for some reason everyone acts like the Jedi are this super old ancient extinct people group, when literally two generations ago there were thousands of them. And they weren’t even in hiding or anything. In fact, they were so non-isolationist, they ended up getting all tied up in the Republic’s military affairs.

But, uh…not everyone believes that’s true, I guess. When the Empire took over, there were some creative government-backed reinterpretations of history that still persist to this day. You’d think it wouldn’t be that easy to rewrite history in a single generation. You’d think. But even people who hate the Empire still believe some of the things they said, because the Empire really just wiped a whole bunch of information off the HoloNet and destroyed all physical evidence of the Jedi and took control of interplanetary school curriculums and bribed all the mainstream news sources, and so the degree to which they tampered with the public knowledge is difficult to undo.

I only know about the Jedi’s history because my uncle’s a Jedi and he can talk to ghosts. So clearly, I’m the one with the more reliable information. I don’t know why people don’t trust me when I say that.

But back to Fannie’s saber—the New Republic is pretty anti-weaponry, due to the excessive militarism of the Empire. Primarily in regards to its own armed forces, but for civilians too. My dad complains about it aaaall the time because Hotshot Gunslinger Han Solo has to renew his blaster certificates every year and he has to do it for every weapon he owns. And he always has to retake the test, because he forgets that you’re not supposed to just point your blaster straight back and fire without turning around. No matter how badass it makes you look.

So…with Fannie’s lightsaber, which is not easily categorized as any known weapon…I think the good ol’ RepCity PD plans on keeping it in “we’ll look into this” hell for all eternity. Uncle Luke will be here a few days before the wedding, and I’m hoping he can give us a hand with that. In fact, I asked him if he could give us a hand with that. And he said, “Sure, do you want the organic one or the prosthetic one?” And I said, “WOW UNCLE LUKE, LIKE I HAVEN’T HEARD THAT ONE A HUNDRED MILLION TIMES.”

Luke’s not an NR citizen, actually, since he doesn’t live on a member world. He has a traveler’s visa like the one Fannie has. So, not being a citizen might work against him if he tries to negotiate with the police…but, being Luke Freaking Skywalker Who Blew Up The Death Star And Defeated Vader And The Emperor will more than make up for that, probably.

…And if not? Jedi mind tricks. I asked Uncle Luke if he thought it’d be unethical to use Jedi mind tricks on local law enforcement, and he may have given me A Look, but, I mean. He didn’t say no. Just so long as Mom doesn’t find out. Hey, who knows, maybe Dad’ll get that heist he’s been craving after all!

[askbensolo]

Aw you look just like your dad!

Mom says the older I get, the more I remind her of him. Eh, I guess I don't mind. Just as long as I don't develop his cringey dad humor...

[askbensolo]

“Y’know…you don’t seem to talk a lot these days,” Dad says in a low voice, gentle and gruff all at once, his concern kept casual.

“Well, I don’t got much to say these days,” I tell him, hoping he won’t look at me too closely. I brush my hair behind my ear and keep sweeping crumbs out of the seats in the cockpit. I think there’s still cereal there from when I was five.

“You doing okay, kid?”

I know the answer to this one. It comes automatically. “Yeah, Dad, I’m fine.”

I hear him step forward. He claps a hand on my shoulder.

“Hey. I asked you serious, Ben. Now you answer me serious.”

I burst into tears.

[askbensolo]

Listen okay. Our parents got to have ALL the fun with their hair styles. I waited SO LONG for the mullet to come back and then I spent an extra three years growing it 😩 i love having longer hair but haaaaaate when it’s in my face so it’s perfect

Only downside is now I really look like photos of my dad from 40 years ago lol

If I had a credit for every time someone sent me a picture of their hairstyle, I’d have…two credits!

Okay, bud—now I know I’m never doing the mullet thing. Not because I’m a hater. But because I know I will never, ever manage to look as good as you. Like…damn.

Wanna see a holo of my dad from 40 years ago? He looks like a completely different person:

Like, he LITERALLY looks like a different person.

Don’t ask me for answers, ‘cause I don’t have any.

[askbensolo]

Holos from when I graduated from University of Naboo last year! (Class of 28 ABY; Journalism major; Galactic Policy and Nonhuman Studies double minor.)

Rey made fun of me for wearing “a dress.” So I made fun of her for actually wearing a dress (Mom made her wear it).

Heh. Good times, good times.

[askbensolo]

07.22.30 - I HATE MY FAMILY

Greetings from Ryloth! Despite the vitriolic nature of this post’s title, I am quite ecstatic, because I am currently very far away from them with no plans to return!

I don’t mean, of course, that I will never return. I only mean that I have not planned my return. Maybe I’ll stay on Ryloth for weeks. Maybe months. Or who knows! Maybe I’ll live here forever and figure out how to raise blurrgs or something.

As I’m sure you remember, things with my family have not been great, particularly between me and my mom…but that’s all changed now, because now I have beef with all of them. I now present to you my list of grievances for your reading pleasure. (Rant incoming.)

Mom:

Everything you already know about my issues with my mom (overprotective of me; won’t let go of the things that happened to me before; uses things that happened in my past as justification to try to control me in the present)

Projects onto me constantly—the most recent development being, I guess, that she reeeaallly doesn’t want me to start a family at twenty-four—which I wasn’t going to do, but now kinda want to do out of spite (a terrific motivation, I’m sure!)

Won’t. Stop. And look at herself. In the mirror. Like, literally even you guys are like “uhh Ben y’know maybe your mom needs therapy” LIKE EVEN YOU CAN SEE THAT. WHY CAN’T SHE SEE THAT.

Dad:

LETS MOM DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS AND WON’T PUSH BACK ON HER. Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t some weird gender thing. I’m not like that; I don’t care about that—but something I learned from the brief time I was dating is that one of the most important parts of a relationship is being able to balance each other out and offer each other your perspectives. Dad isn’t doing that. There have been times when he has done that before (for example, when he and Uncle Luke talked Mom into letting me go to college on Naboo), but ever since I came back home, Dad’s been letting Mom call the shots. He won’t stick up for me anymore. And I told him this—I spoke to him directly about it and he basically said sometimes he doesn’t know what to do, because he didn’t grow up with parents and Mom did. I told him, “Dad, you don’t need to have grown up with a family. You just need to use your eyes and use your mouth and trust your gut.” And he said something along the lines of, “Son, I trust your mother a lot more than I trust myself.” Which…I’m sure makes him a great husband and all, but it is not working for me as his kid.

Rey:

Okay so this is new. But APPARENTLY my sister has been harboring like mountains and mountains of resentment against me and it all came out at dinner two nights ago. She’s upset at me because—well, first of all, because she’s fourteen and fourteen-year-olds are always upset—but she’s upset because ever since I came back home, Mom has been paying way more attention to me than to her. And that is literally so fair! I have also observed that! BUT WHY IS SHE MAD AT ME?? I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS??? Why is it MY FAULT????

And you know what I’m pissed at Rey too because everything’s always easy for her. Like, stupid easy. Like, magic easy. I bet if Rey wanted to, she could learn how to use the Force in a single day and beat a Sith Lord in a lightsaber duel with no training. And I’m aware that it’s stupid to be jealous of a child—but listen—nothing was ever easy for me growing up! Everything was always hard and I was always sad and anxious and scared and miserable but Rey’s in like three extracurriculars and she has friends and good grades and yeah she’s only a kid, but in four years she’ll be an adult, and I just know she’ll be a better one than I am. It’s not fair that she’s so good at everything and I suck so bad! And Rey comes from a rough background too, y’know—she was an orphan on Jakku—which only proves that nothing that ever happened to Rey followed her into the rest of her life, while I’m still being hunted and haunted by everything that ever happened to me.

Anyway, so…all of this kind of came to a head two nights ago at dinner, like I said, and me and Mom and Rey were yelling at each other, and Dad was yelling at all of us trying to get us to stop, and it was really bad…so I got fed up, I guess, and…I said bye.

Usually, it’s just me and Mom who clash, and we can kinda keep it contained. But…everybody was pissed and blowin’ up, and I was already planning to visit Fan anyway, so I just…decided to head out a little earlier than expected.

Honestly, I’m kicking myself. You know without me telling you that Mom isn’t happy about me walking out. But she couldn’t stop me. All she could do was plead. And I don’t think I had really realized that acting against my mother’s wishes was a possibility and an option. When you’re twenty-four, it’s not called running away—it’s just called leaving. And you’re allowed to leave. This whole time I felt trapped at home, I could’ve just left, and it’s not as if Mom was really gonna stop me. I kinda wish I’d left sooner…but I guess the trickier part was finding somewhere else to go, since your boy’s, uh, got a limited cash flow right now.

Ugh…I know that there’s four of us. And that it takes two to tango, so naturally it takes four to…um…fango. But, somehow…I just feel like all of this is my fault. My brain has a ticker tape always goin’ that says I suck and I’m bad and I ruin everything. And I’m mad at the rest of ‘em too…but I know their lives would be so much easier without me. I bet they’re happier already. Or…at least calmer.

So…maybe I’m not as ecstatic as I claimed to be at the beginning of this post.

…Geez, I didn’t even get to talk about Fannie and how weird it is to go back to being friends with your ex.

…Next time.