Warnings: Distressed reader, miscarriage, mentions of anxiety, panic attack, soft!Toto x reader,
A/N: Personal experience used here, so please be understanding. 2022 was the worst year of my life, losing a baby and my fiancé within 3 months of eachother. I’ve been wanting to write something for months, to try and help me cope with my emotions. This hasn’t been spell checked, I literally have finished it and pressed post. So please bear with me if there’s any mistakes or it’s not that great, or sonically cohesive. It’s literally a coping mechanism. I’ve also tried to incorporate Taylor Swift’s “Bigger Than The Whole Sky” as that song has bought me a lot of comfort. Thank you so much for reading and I hope soft Toto brings you comfort if you need it ♥️ my inbox is open to anyone if you need to talk about anything.
It’s been a long 5 days without Toto, and your physical health was declining by the hour. Your period was the heaviest it had ever been, but you didn’t want to tell Toto, because everyone has periods and usually, they’re nothing to worry about.
Toto knew you were struggling physically, and had been the ever-supporting husband that you could’ve dreamed of. Virtually working instead of heading into the office, skipping races and rescheduling meetings or holding them online— to the point where he’d be sitting on the bed with his laptop perched on his lap on Zoom with people at Brackley, with you sleeping next to him and him not taking his hand off of your head once, constantly stroking it to ease your pain.
He was away in Bahrain for first race of the season and it was the longest amount of time he’d been for a few months. You hadn’t been feeling that great in the lead up to him leaving, a bit run down and not your usual self, extremely tired and incredibly nauseous. You just assumed it was your birth control playing up again.
It was Sunday. Race day. You were feeling rough, and after yesterday’s ordeal in the ER followed by a strict instruction for bed rest and preferably someone with you, all you wanted to do was curl up on the couch, watch the race and wait for your man to come home.
You hadn’t been contacting him much over the past 4 days, mainly just good morning and good night texts, as you knew he was going to be flat out busy with media, meetings and all the other stuff that goes with the job he’d worked so hard for.
11am. You heard your phone ping, with his specific text tone and notification lighting up your screen.
💬 1 New Message: Toto🐺♥️ — Liebling, I have a free half hour. Can you talk? We need to talk.
“We need to talk”? You read it three times, making sure you were reading it right. Need? Panic sets in. Usually, when anybody receives a message of “We need to talk.”, ending abruptly with a full stop, that’s never a good sign, right? Right.
Before you could even start typing, he was ringing. Accidentally, you pressed the green answer button, steadily putting the phone to your ear.
“Hello?” - your voice broke as you awaited his response.
🐺 “Schatzi? Is that you?”
“What do you mean, is it me? You rang my mobile?”
🐺 “Oh. Thank god. I had a missed call from the hospital, they left a message asking me how you were after yesterday. I didn’t— what happened yesterday, I didn’t know you wen—“
“Oh my god, are you kidding?! They rang you?”
Anger that started in your stomach was slowly making its way up your body, flushing your red cheeks and making your hands grip the phone tighter. You were checked into the ER yesterday after having what you thought was a 3 day long, heavy and extremely painful period. You had to call the ambulance because you were bleeding so heavily you couldn’t control anything, and started to feel dizzy and weak. With nobody around, and Toto working, you had nobody to call.
🐺 “Come on baby, talk to me. Why did you visit the ER?”
You paused. You didn’t know what to say to him, but neither did you want to lie. You knew as soon as the ER nurse asked if you’d had any morning sickness or previous experiences of dark red heavy periods that this wasn’t just a period. You were having a miscarriage, not even knowing you were pregnant.
🐺 “Liebling? Whatever it is, you can tell me. It doesn’t matter that I’m here, ok? You are my priority, just let me in.”
“I can’t tell you over the phone, Toto. I’m sorry. Just concentrate on the race, and I’ll see you later. I love y—“
🐺 “No Schatzi, baby please, I can’t concentrate unless you tell me what’s going on.”
You knew that he wasn’t going to give in. Tears started filling your eyes and the pit of your stomach started knotting. Emotions got the better of you, your breathing started to get shorter and faster, even though you were trying to disguise every bit of it, so you didn’t make him panic even more. But you just couldn’t do it. You fell apart. You needed him, now more than ever.
“I’m sorry, Toto. I didn’t know. You know I’m on birth control, it was just a heavy period, and then the nurses started asking all these questions about morning sickness and the colour of it and they rigged me up to the machine and started doing all these scans and I was really scared and I didn’t know what to do and then they kept apologising to me and I was in such a state I didn’t know what they were talking about until they— until they said it wasn’t a heavy period, and I’d lost—“
That was it. Uncontrollable tears streamed from your eyes as you relived the worst day of your life all over again, for the millionth time. Hysteria creeping in and your adrenaline winning, you began to shake. You’d been reliving every second of it since you got home, and it took a lot of persuasion for you to the nurses to let you home on your own. But they all knew your situation, they all knew Toto and who he was, so they made an exception. You didn’t think they’d call him.
🐺 “Oh my go—, baby, I’m so sorry. Shit. I should’ve been there, I knew you weren’t right when I left, but I had no idea it could be this—“
“Don’t apologise Toto please, it’s not your fault, I just, I can’t wait to see you later. Please try and just do the race and I’ll be here when you get home.”
🐺 “I don’t care about the race Schatz, baby. I’m coming home now. I’m walking to Rosa right now, she’ll get me on the next flight darling. Hold tight for me, ok?”
You didn’t want to ruin his day like this, especially the first race, but you were done fighting with yourself.
“Ok.” - through tears streaming and sniffles of your nose to try and control your breathing, a simple ‘ok’ was the last thing you said to Toto before dropping the phone on the bed. You’d almost been in denial about the whole thing, and saying it all out loud made it more real. You pulled your legs to your chest, your body still screaming in pain from miscarrying, back pains so intense you feel like your spine is on fire and a headache strong enough to make you squint at any view of light.
You could hear the television in the background, the race build up had started and you began watching it hoping it would distract you from everything that was happening in your head at that very moment.
The grid walk started, and Martin Brundle was desperately searching around for Toto to ask him where he thinks the two Mercs’ we’re going to finish today’s race. He eventually came across Shov, who was ready for an interview.
MB: “I was hoping to talk to your boss, any idea where I can find him?”
AS: “He’s had to rush off, personal matter, so won’t be able to watch the race today, but I can answer any questions you may have - just not with as much Austrian flare as he does!” he tried to laugh and distract from the situation- but you knew social media was about to blow up.
A few hours passed, and the sheer emotional state you were in made you fall asleep at some point during the race. You woke up as the podium ceremony started, that damn Dutch national anthem again. You flicked over the channels and started watching some random nature show about birds. Anything but that damn podium.
Anxiously waiting for Toto to arrive, you kept drifting off to sleep, losing track of the time, until you heard a key in the door and footsteps running up the stairs.
“Schatzi, where are you baby? I’m ho—“
The bedroom door swung open and there he was, still dressed in his white button down shirt and black trousers, so damn handsome. Your man was home.
“Toto, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Tears streaming, you sat up on the bed, trying to adjust your body to a position you weren’t in pain.
“Baby, it’s okay. Come here, little one.” Toto softly sat down in front of you, cupping your face in both hands and softly brushing the tears on your cheeks away with the pad of his thumbs. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” He brought his lips up to your forehead, pressing the most gentle kiss just above your left eyebrow, muffling the words “Let go baby, I’m here now. Just let it all out.”
The reassuring words from Toto meant every single emotion waved over you like a tsunami, and you fell apart in his arms. The tears came streaming down your face as you leant forward into him. You adjusted your body so you were sitting side aways on his lap, legs resting on the bed and head resting in his shoulder. His arms wrapped around you like he was protecting the world, his gentle touches making you feel safer than you’d ever felt.
“Let’s get you into bed properly, baby, get you more comfortable.” Without hesitation, Toto stood up with you in his arms as he gently walked around the bed, making sure not to walk into any furniture or make any sudden movements. He slowly leant down, to lay you on his side of the bed. He grabbed a blanket, took his shirt and trousers off, walked round to the other side of the bed and got in with you.
“Are you comfortable? Do you need to move?” He asked as you started rolling over as he got into the bed beside you.
“I can’t get comfy, it’s so frustrating, everything hurts and I can’t move without feeling like I’m making a mess everywhere, it’s horrible.”
“Hey hey baby, it’s okay, don’t cry. It doesn’t matter if there’s mess, we can clean it up, okay? Come here, lay here.” He perched himself up on the headboard, his bare chest gleaming in the night light that was the only light on in the room. The smell of him just felt like home. Lightly tapping his torso, he helped you lay your head on his chest, right on his heart. You moved your arm over his toned tummy, slightly tapping your fingers over the grooves of his muscles.
“There we go baby, you just lay there and relax now. It’s okay, I’ve got you my girl.”
A few minutes of silence passed as Toto gently run his fingers through your hair, up and down your back and over your shoulder.
“Toto?”
“Yes, baby? What is it?”
“We’re never gonna meet her.”
You didn’t know if it was a girl or a boy, but your initial thought was it was a girl. You don’t know why. It’d been playing on your mind all day whenever you caught yourself thinking about what would’ve been, what could’ve been and what should’ve been.
A deep breath came from the pits of his stomach as he saw your heart break in front of him.
“I know darling, I know. But look…” he pointed out towards the night sky, a sky full of stars. A sky so beautiful, that you would’ve thought you’d made it up.
“She’s up there. She knows you’re looking at her. Hey, she’s that really bright one, look” he points to a specific star, that is, quite literally, the brightest one in the sky. “She’s bigger than the whole sky, isn’t she?” he looks down at you, as you’d cocked your head to see the star he was talking about. Making eye contact, one side of his mouth turned into a slight smile, as he leant down to kiss you on the lips. “I love you, little one.”
You kissed him back, finally feeling like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders now he was home.
“I love you too, Papi.”
He smiled down at you again, bringing his hand up to the side of your face and gently guiding your head to lay on his chest. You heard him snuffle, and felt a teardrop on hairline where your hair meets your forehead.
“Toto?” You looked up at him, tears in his eyes as he looked out of the window.
He responded immediately. “It’s okay, baby. I’m okay, I’m just so sorry I wasn’t here.”
“Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry for not telling you when it happened. I just didn’t want to pull you away from work and—“
“Baby listen to me. You are my world, ok? Nothing is more important than you. I would sail the seven oceans to be with you in a heartbeat. Don’t ever think anything is more important than you, Schatz. I love you so much it hurts.”
He looked down at you again, kissing the top of your head and stroking your hair. “You can rest now, baby. Daddy’s got you.”
You closed your eyes and felt your entire body relax into the indentation of his body, and sunk into the bed with him. The soft strokes of his hands over your arms, hair and back brought you more comfort than you’d ever felt before, and the sound of his slow controlled breathing meant your breathing started syncing with his. You both drifted off to sleep, holding each other close. His arms wrapped around you, you laying on his chest.
This is a sugardaddy Toto Wolff x Reader smut, based on a request I got that had my mind going wild 😈 I hope you enjoy, and if you have any requests, definitely let me know!! -> Talk Dirty To Me
Anon request: Can you please write about reader x toto where the reader is totos sugarbaby? How they met and their first time?
Summary: You caught Toto’s eye at an event and he does everything he can to spoil you and make you his girl. He flies you out to a race and after winning, the two of you have a champagne filled celebration.
Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, mention of alcohol, daddy Toto...
Words: 1.4K
You’re the daughter of one of the sponsors of the Mercedes f1 team, and you go to one of their events, where meet Toto there and he keeps eyeing you all night. He’s all cocky and showing off his power anytime you’re around, and in front of everyone he invites you to see the coming race. He flies you out with his private plane, on which you get served an expensive glass of Möet and the most expensive looking small plate of delicious food. You arrive at the Ritz where you’re escorted to your room. As you enter you see a big bouquet of roses on the table, your vip-paddock pass, and a note on top of a box.
I got you a little something. Hope you like it. x
You open the box and see the most beautiful diamond necklace with a carved out ruby heart pendant. Putting it on and staring at yourself in the mirror, you stroke the necklace in absolute awe. After putting on a beautiful skin tight dress to match the shiny jewelry, you go down to the lobby where his driver would pick you up and bring you to the track. Upon arrival the driver gets out with you and to your surprise he escorts you into the paddock following you around as your security. “Orders from the big boss,” he says. Everyone stares at you as you walk into the paddock and the drivers trip over their own feet looking you up and down. As you arrive in the hospitality, Toto is standing at the entrance waiting for you, greeting you with open arms, then hugging you tightly and he places a delicate kiss on your cheek. All eyes are on the two of you, in both confusion and admiration of how beautiful the two of you looked together, Toto knowing very well how jealous he is making the other guys.
Before the race Toto walks you around the garage explaining stuff to you that you have trouble understanding. It’s just squiggly lines he’s pointing at, you thought to yourself, but it’s sweet nonetheless how excited he gets showing you this, with one hand constantly placed on the small of your back. You watch the race from the back of the garage trying to stay out of his way so he can focus, but when the finish line is crossed and the chequered flag is waved sealing in the double podium win for the team, you’re the first one he runs up to and hugs you lifting you off your feet with a surge of euphoria. The camera zooming into the Mercedes garage, capturing the two of you embraced in excitement with his lips on your neck, not caring about who would see and pulls you in closer.
Later that evening you went back to the hotel waiting for Toto to come visit you after the race-debrief. You hear a knock on your door and it’s him standing there with a big smile on his face. Walking in, he grips his hands around your waist with your arms on his shoulders. “We won, baby, WE WON!!” He says excited. You tilt your head back to make a soundless motion of cheering, shaking your head as your hair falls to the back of your shoulders exposing your soft neck. He leans in with uncontrollable passion and kisses you neck following the contour of the diamond necklace you were wearing. “I won.” He says, with a grin on his face and pure desire in his eyes. “Well, let’s celebrate then!” You grab the champagne out of the ice bucket and he holds your hand guiding you towards the bedroom. As he was loosening the cork of the champagne bottle he looks at you cheeky in the corner of his eyes. “I swear- if you spray this on me..” You say teasingly, as you grab his shoulder and hold his face in your hand placing a kiss on his stubbled jawline. He pops the bottle holding back the urge to empty it all over you. The two of you cheers your full glasses, him holding you by the waist pulling you closer as you take a sip.
While holding you in his arms, his hand strokes up and down your back, going lower each time, and then grabs a hand full of your ass. He guides you towards the bed and undoes the zip of your dress which falls to the ground. He steps back to adore you from top to bottom, as you place your hands on his chest undoing the buttons of his button-down, kissing his collarbone. “I’m getting thirsty,” he says with a devilish smile, walking back to get his glass of champagne, before pushing you on the bed. While he sits on top of you he pours the champagne over your stomach and starts sucking it off. You feel your whole body tingle by the sensation of his tongue tracing over your stomach, and you hold the back of his head, trying not to tremble.
The second time he empties the glass of champagne over your stomach and sucks it off going lower with every motion of his tongue until he reaches the lace of your lingerie. He holds it with one finger pulling it down the slightest and rubs your inner thigh with the other hand, making your head tilt back in anticipation and a moan leaving your mouth. Pulling down the underwear, he starts tracing his tongue along your wet lips and rubs your sensitive clit. The pleasure this man knows how to give amazed you, as you felt the heat rise under your skin.
He undid your bra skilfully and quickly unbuckled his belt, his hard cock sprang up as he lowered the waistband of his underwear. With one hand placed on your throat touching the diamond necklace, now the only thing you were wearing, he teased the tip of his cock along your wetness. Inch by inch he enters you, letting you adjust to his big size making your walls flutter and you gasped for air. Increasing the pace of his thrusts, he slides his hand over your champagne soaked body pressing down on your stomach to feel himself inside of you. “That’s my girl, letting me fuck you so deep. Who makes you feel good like this.” He slides his hands up your wet skin and start playing with your sensitive nipples, setting your nerves on fire as you moan uncontrollably, “only you do, daddy.” He reaches up and puts his large champagne covered fingers in your mouth and you start sucking them off, while he bucks his hips into you with an unrelenting tempo.
Holding back moans you rocked your hips to the rhythm of his thrusts, with his face right next you yours you felt his deep grunt going through your whole body, as he increased the pace. The muscles in your stomach tense up as you feel your climax coming near. He repositions your legs changing the angle, making him feel you even deeper hitting your g-spot, again and again. “Show me how much you like it, babygirl.” The deep penetration makes you press your head back into the mattress, nails dug deep in his back and you gasped for air and let out a moan feeling your whole body tremble into a big orgasm. With the pulsing of your inner walls and a powerful final thrust he cums inside of you as you clench your legs around his hips keeping him inside, absorbing all the aftershocks. With your hips shaking erratically as you felt a wave of muscle tension leave your body, he laid on top of you, face nuzzled into your neck, trying to catch his breath.
Out of breath, the two of you where trying to get back to reality, while his hands gently stroke your drenched body from both the champagne and sweat. He places gentle kisses on your neck and collarbone, praising you for being the amazing women you are, before taking a nice hot shower with you to calm back down and enjoy the moment. “I want to spoil you forever like this, schatzi. If you’ll allow me?” You place your arms around his neck to pull him in closer and say, “I’m all yours,” before leaning in for a passionate kiss. The rest of the evening you both laid in bed in each others arms, drinking champagne and laughing the night away, while you felt as save as ever.
