#dadmart

[homuncolossus-a]

“Tsk, awkward. Unknown spell made me bounded to him for seven days. Six now.”

@elemental-bartender

[abitofafatass]

#[ [church voice] PICS OR IT DIDN"T HAPPEN 

HEY DICKHEAD I GOT THE PICS RIGHT HERE ON MY PHONE!!

[conglomeresque-moved]

@dadmart 

You know, I hate to be that guy but if this little display is anything similar to how your father acts then you don’t owe him jack shit, your anger included. Does he deserve it? Probably. Is that easier said than done? Definitely, but listen.

I don’t know you or... how fucking old you are, but one of the key points in not turning out like him is the fact that you have time to get better. Stop getting all wound the hell up over something that isn’t set in stone yet.

[abitofafatass]

#[ khristle get this garbage out of my inbox ] 

@dadmart how could you have possibly known that was me binch

[abitofafatass]

@farfromrevered (x)

Oh great, he’d gotten Leonard the Younger. Awkward. “Middle of the night? What the fuck are you talking about?” Grif glanced at his clock next to the stove. It said 9. So did his cell phone and one of them had to be right.

... Wait a minute. “Oh. I might have just remembered time zones are a thing. We’re six hours behind you.” This is what happened when Grif went back to Hawaii for the weekend. “Why the fuck arent you in bed already?”

[abitofafatass]

@farfromrevered (x)

“Ok, wait just a fuck.” Grif held up both hands to emphasize his words. “You’re expecting me to believe that you’re not a guy in a suit, but like, an actual horse, even though you dont have fuckin hooves or a tail, or a horse dick. You literally just have the head. What the fuck man? That doesnt sound physically possible. You know what else isnt possible? Me feeling that lonely or like everyone hates me. There’s no way that I worry about that. Why would I?”

Man, was he thirsty! Talking that much and that fast sure left the throat parched.

[abitofafatass]

“It kinda sounds like someone has either a boner for Peanutbutter, or they’re super jealous that peanutbutter has a boner for someone else.”

[abitofafatass]

@farfromrevered (x)

“Oh good, you know what, that’s awesome news because I think pants were a commie invention anyways. Fuck pants, this is AMERICA where we let our dongs hang free. Or, free-ish inside the comfy confines of boxers. And... sweats when its cold outside.” There were some things that he should really learn to keep inside his head, and that was one of them. No one needed to hear that thought out loud.

“Thanks though, man, and if you ever manage to come into the future, you can totally crash on Red Team’s couch. Assuming that Caboose doesnt notice the fact you’re a talking horse and assuming that he doesnt just pick you up and carry you off to join his best friend’s club. I cant help you if that happens, you’ve just got to make sure that Freckles doesnt think you’re a threat.”