#dadposts

[musubeans]

my dad has been watching halo (2022) mostly in silence until a character picked something up and he loudly announced "that's masterchef's weapon"

[darkpaladin]

[trophywifeengineer]

I genuinely love how naive, sweet, and stupid my wife is. I love EVERYTHING about her: that tight body, the sweet whorishness, her funny and silly attitude, her can-do determination, her soft and willing cunt… but the dumb fucking moron of her is pretty much the sexiest thing about her. She’s got a good brain so she tried really hard for a long time to play smart. There was so much she thought she needed to think and worry about and figure out. Ugh. Wayyy too much for that little girl, it wasn’t fair. No wonder she was so tightly wound and in such desperate need of my influence.

I’ve been programming it to understand that being a dumbfuck is natural to it, and that it doesn’t have to pretend otherwise anymore. I see the way its forehead scrunches in confusion and anxiety so often. It makes me sad. A stupid little thing like that doesn’t need to give itself stress wrinkles from trying to think so hard and so much. So I’m changing it for her.

She doesn’t really care that much about understanding anymore. That pretty, active little brain will still get well-stimulated— she has lots of media, interests, and duties to keep it busy— and she can just let everything else go. Who cares? Whatever. It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t need to know, to understand, to figure it out. Dad will take care of everything, so just let it go. Dumber is truer and wetter and better and realer and funner and easier.

Let’s see how well it sticks. I’ll keep tweaking it.

[hellfuckjonezz]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

This BEHEMOTH is also finally finished! My LONGEST fic ever! I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, even if it took years to finish. Miracles happen once and a while 😎

[musubeans]

nurse aide: this is your vitals machine. it'll be with you all the time. you can name it if you want

dad (fresh out of surgery): I will Call it Zohran Mamdani

[trophywifeengineer]

She’s so easy to brainwash because her mind was never her own anyway. So naive, so open. Everyone else just put stupid bullshit fucking programming in there before. It’s been pretty simple to get her back down to the factory settings but some parts of the bad code takes more time than others to hack. Either way she’s been very receptive to my input. Although that’s not a surprise either given how much she likes me and how weak and malleable her brain is. Like putty.

[musubeans]

my dad has been binging the witcher for the past couple days and basically been silent the whole time except to comment on how annoying jaskier is but 3 episodes into season 2 he turned to me with a huge frown on his face and said "what happened to the bard guy"

[musubeans]

watching this samurai show with my dad and I cant take it seriously bc there is a literal death game happening between the poorest samurai and these women have somehow found a lovely shade of lipgloss and mascara