#dadwhy

[lavendulanova]

dad: holy moses that thing's hot me: what thing dad: the sun

[themanwiththemetalarm]

*me, buying a cover case with Cap's shield on it*

Dad: But that's for boys and you're a girl.

Me: *staring at him for a long time*

Dad: oh, okay then.

[princefinch]

I was going through my calendar seeing if I could piece together exactly what day in 2009 I found my cat (yes, I still have him), and found out my dad's info is still in there because of some data transfer fluke. I was going through other years out of a morbid bewilderment, and it looks like for an entire year before he died in 2013, he was secretly taking nursing classes???

Why did he keep this a secret? What the hell did my mom think he was doing when he was in class? He was a fucked up dude but this truly just confuses me.

[vortexcreature]

I am just like watching weird videos drawing some weird ass creature from my dreams and all I hear from my dad is angry and frustrated yugoslavian ,just for him to go into my room fart and leave laughing

[thegayallofus]

Why did the duck get arrested?

It was selling quack cocaine

[justerynthings]

Me: I think I have matured--

Dad: I think I almost eyed rolled into another dimension 

[hiphipimgayy-blog]

When your dad doesn't trust you to boil water

[silently-killing-you]

My dad taught my 4 year old brother that cemeteries are actually called bone orchards and I just asked him (my brother) what you do there and he told me that you sleep six feet under and push up daisies all day long