#daemyra commentary

[medschoolash]

My two cents on Daemon and Rhaenyra's Sexual encounter

I'm nobody but I have a lot of thoughts about what went down between daemon and rhaenyra and the motives on Daemon's end so I'm just gonna put it all down here because why not.

So I've come to the conclusion that Daemon's actions are not abusive (contrary to what the creators said), not about a quest for the throne, and not completely without malicious intent.

I think to truly understand it all and how it fits into the story you have to understand a few key things:

Daemon has psychogenic erectile dysfunction ( more on that later)

Daemon has an unending desire to upset Viscerys but he actually does love him

Daemon cares about Rhaenyra deeply and always has

Daemon is sexually attracted to Rhaenyra

Daemon is impulsive and manipulative but he's not a complete idiot

When you combine all of those character points for Daemon his behavior this episode makes a lot more sense to me.

(if you know me from other fandoms you know I'm long winded so proceed at your own discretion lol )

Let's go back to the very beginning of the episode. Daemon returns from the stepstones. He's now a war hero. He's known as the dragon that conquered the narrow sea and saved the realm a headache. This is the most praise and adoration he's gotten in a long time. He makes a show of giving up his crown to Viscerys and pledging fealty to him once again and he smugly looks at otto when he's embraced by his brother again.

To me this is important because I believe Daemon's actions here are genuine at that moment. The creators said in this scene Daemon seems like a changed man to the audience which I can see on casual viewing BUT is he truly a changed man? The narrative proved that to be a huge no and really that was the only conclusion when none of his actual gripes with Viscerys have been resolved. Plus what's so different about Daemon now? When has Daemon ever not supported Viscerys's claim as king? When has he ever publically done anything but swear loyalty to his brother since he was crowned (no comment on dead baby aegon, he got no love from daemon lol). Nothing about it truly screams Daemon is changed so why does he do it? My opinion is that it shows he didn't actually go there to be duplicitous. He didn't return pretending to be someone he's not to deceive everybody. That's important in the bigger picture.

So Daemon hasn't changed BUT something has in fact changed in King's Landing. Rhaenyra.

Rhaenyra is happy he's back. She actually follows him in the throne room. She wants to see him. In the garden, she approaches him first with the giddy but tries to play it cool presence of someone with a huge crush. She is starry-eyed in his presence and is eager to engage with him. Daemon looks at her walk away in the garden. His eyes are on her in part because he's curious (he noticed her stiff interactions with her father) and because it's the first time he's seen her in years and she's a woman now but he doesn't follow her. I think they deliberately showed us that in most ways that matter before the sexual encounter Rhaenyra is the chaser, not Daemon. That matters. Later Rhaenyra finds him again and he's soaking in the air in KL, another indicator that Daemon is possibly relieved to be home and is not here to cause chaos. Rhaenyra even straight up asks him why he's there because she knows him, she knows he likes to play games with her father so there has to be an agenda but is there? He says the comfort of home. I personally don't think there is one on his mind at that moment. The key part is he acknowledges her maturation for the first time and he discusses it in the context of physical appeal. She's blossomed into a beautiful young woman entering the stage of courtship. He notices. She realizes he notices.

They've always had a bond. She's always had a special hold over him and she's always looked at him like he hangs the moon but it was never something with any real clarity for Rhaenyra and never something that Daemon would ever acknowledge or act on but that's changed it has been 4 years. She's at least 18 now. She's at the stage of life where romance and sexual curiosity makes a bit more sense now even if she's still unsure about how to navigate that as a woman in westeros. So yeah It's different between them. Rhaenyra has changed and most of all they are both curious about what this tension is between them and how far it can go.

Before I move on to my next point I want to make sure I'm not misinterpreted here. I'm not saying Daemon has been creeping on her this whole time just counting the days until she's of age. I don't think he's ever said to himself "when she's 18 I'm totally gonna have sex with her". I don't think he has the thought to go there sexually with her until the moment he actually sees her again after she's matured.

That brings me to their one-on-one in the garden. This is an important part because I feel like Daemon's intentions after this conversation can make his actions somewhat within reason or absolutely horrible. Rhaenyra is very candid with him about her frustrations with having to marry. She feels like a broodmare with no sexual autonomy at all, just a pawn to be sold to the highest bidder for the use of her womb and her title. She feels like no one cares about what she wants, what she wants to do with her body. She's so averse to the idea that would prefer to live a life completely alone over having to marry and have all of her stripped away for duty. Daemon tries to assure her that all is not lost for her. Yes, it's a political contract but he basically tells her she does have power and autonomy within the confines of a marriage. She can do whatever she wants. She can control what does and doesn't happens to her. Having this power is clearly important to her. He also genuinely tries to alleviate her fears about having the same fate as her mother. He was there, he knows her grief and pain. She wants to take that trauma and become a recluse. He doesn't want her to fear a fate she can not truly control because it prevents her from ever experiencing the better parts of life. Solitude is lonely. He himself is married and he's still lonely. He doesn't want that for her. We can say it's familial affection or something even more but the key is I do not think that any part of this conversation, especially the last part, is a manipulative game to him. He's comforting her and trying to guide her in the right direction for her own good just as he's done several times before.

So this is the entire lead-up to their night out and sexual encounter. What part of this feels well planned? what part of this feels like a scheme or anything but a simmering curiosity and moment of honesty between two people who up to this point have only had a familial connection? The answer is none of it feels like a well-planned manipulation, not even in retrospect and it doesn't feel that way because in my opinion, it wasn't.

The first moment you can make a real argument that Daemon has done some plotting is when she arrives in her room and finds the clothing and the note. But even then the question becomes what exactly did he plan and why did he plan it? The more cynical perspectives floating around suggest that everything was daemon manipulating Rhaenyra to open her up to the night on the town, then he planted the clothes and the note to lure her away with the full intention of ruining her reputation for his own ploy for power. To me, this falls apart very quickly as an explanation despite what the creators implied (I'll get to that in a second).

As mentioned above hours ago they had a conversation where Daemon tries to tell Rhaenyra there is a lot more to the world she can enjoy versus resigning herself to solitude and misery. The truth of the matter is Rhaenyra is very green. She has been sheltered in the red keep her whole life. Her mother died at a crucial age. She has had no one to guide her through the confusing developmental aspects of adolescence. Daemon sees his role as a guide to help her reach a new level of understanding of the many forms of sexual expression and freedom that will ultimately liberate her from the confines of her gender and her station that she's been desperately fighting against this whole time. But why does he want to do this? Does he want to do it because her sexual awakening can be used as a tool to rise to power or does he do it because he actually cares about her and want her to actually feel empowered in this important way and he can conveniently also explore his sexual desire for her as well?

This is the most important question to ask in this entire analysis but this is also where the waters truly get murky making it difficult to answer the question. To me the most obvious answer is the latter but this is seemingly contradicted by the creators and by Daemon himself. I would like to argue that it actually wasn't.

Up until the point, he enters the brothel with her Daemon has been a comforting source of familiarity to Rhaenyra. He has shared vulnerable conversations with her. He tenderly held her hand at every moment and took her through the city watching her in amazement as she saw things she's never seen before. He has allowed all of this to go on while maintaining anonymity, which is crucial because it gives her freedom she otherwise would not have had. At no point did he ever come off as if he wanted to coerce her into something, he or was guiding her in a certain direction for a plan. It all seemed spontaneous and about exploration and most importantly they did as much as she wanted them to do. He is fascinated by her curiosity. He is enamored with her enthusiasm. Why behave like this if this was all a power play? if it was because he really really wanted to manipulate her then why would he stoop so low to hurt someone he clearly cares about for a throne he has never actually said he wants?

I've seen several takes that try to connect him taking her disguise off when his plan to expose her but even that falls apart quickly. He doesn't do it until they are deep into the brothel where they are less likely to be discovered. He also takes his own disguise off exposing himself. If he wanted to ruin her reputation all he needed to ensure was that she was seen in a brothel with someone. Making that someone actually him actually works against him in a long game. Even Viscerys points this out later with alicent. There was a small chance that daemon would be able to say "whoops I slept with her she's ruined not I have to be heir" or "whoops I slept with her and she's ruined not we have to marry" but remember my bullet points?Daemon is impulsive and manipulative but he's not a complete idiot. The much more likely outcome was enraging Viscerys who he has only been on solid footing with viscerys for a few hours, not even a whole day. Enraging viscerys would get him absolutely nothing. The only thing he gains is hurting Rhaenyra and Daemon cares deeply for Rhaenyra so it wouldn't be in character. Like I said even Viscerys acknowledges this and he's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

So if he gains nothing why is he doing this? How is this a power play for him and a power play he would be willing to engage in at the great expense of the only person he seems to actually care about? Maybe he just doesn't actually care about her that way. Maybe his care is not outweighed by his lack of morals and boundaries or maybe it's none of the above. Maybe there is a much simpler explanation for this entire ordeal.

I believe Daemon fully intended to push her sexual boundaries once they were in the brothel but I do not think his desire was to see her exposed while in that brothel to ruin her. I think he was just caught up in his own sexual desire for her and thrilled by the prospect of her liberation so he was callous about the entire thing and didn't care if she would be exposed because there is no real harm that can come. I don't even think he consciously thought about her being exposed in the moment but once presented with the issue it's never was a big deal to him. He even outright says this to viscerys. People whore, sure not women but Targaryens do. They are the blood of old valyria, they are dragon riders and rulers of the realm. They are above everyday conventions in society. They bed family members because they can. They whore because they can. They start wars because they can. The world is theirs for conquering and every aspect can be bent according to their will, including the truth and the truth is whatever viscerys says the truth is. Viscerys can decree his daughter is a maiden and whoever disputes it is treasonous and no one can defy him because well they have dragons. So no It was not calculated, it was just callous which fits into Daemon's personality perfectly and the difference between those two things is important when you're trying to put his actions into context. Also, if Daemon's plan was in fact to use Rhaenyra to gain power why did he even tell Viscerys he can just make it go away before the idea of a marriage even comes up? See the math isn't mathing.

This brings me to the most controversial part of their sexual encounter but the part that I think it the most fascinating. When Rhaenyra asks what is this place Daemon tells her it's where people come to take what they want. This is important for her because she's never seen sex as something that she can take for herself or as an act where she has power but Daemon takes her to a place where she can. Where they both can. This tells you that this experience is meant to be empowering for both of them but especially Rhaenyra. Being there empowers Daemon to cross a boundary he had not crossed before. He gets to take Rhaenyra. Being there for Rhaenyra empowers her to take control of her sexual expression and seek control, seek pleasure, seek passion, seek something that's purely about want and need and about nothing else. He outright tells her that this is what sex is for men AND women. This directly contradicts the idea that Daemon cares nothing about her awakening and it's a plot.

You could argue he says these things to manipulate her into an act but why chose a form of manipulation that plays into her gaining the most instead of him? A sexually empowered Rhaenyra can navigate her duty much more effectively than before. She can make smarter decisions and stop the tantrums that are holding her back. A sexually empowered Rhaenyra that is bold and unafraid and enlightened can form alliances that will strengthen her claim to the throne. We actually see this happen by the end of the episode when she agrees to marry Laenor without dispute and forces Viscerys to get rid of Otto as his hands. This Rhaenyra does not serve a Daemon who only wants to control her and use her for power, it does the exact opposite.

let's look at how the acts even take place for some ideas about his motives. He doesn't try to overwhelm her. He doesn't hungrily attack her even though he is hungry for her. He also doesn't dominate her completely. She's as into it as he is. She doesn't move a pace beyond where she is comfortable. He doesn't rush her and aggressively try to get into to submit to him. He doesn't overwhelm her with pleasure he gradually builds her up and lets her chase it. They passionately but tenderly kiss. He caresses her hair and her body. She pulls him close for more and doesn't shy away from her. Yes he's the one who turns her and moves towards the wall but she walks with him keeping up with her pace perfectly. Even when she is pushed against the wall she is excited and challenges him, she's not overpowered. He doesn't yank her clothing off he sensually exposures her. One of the best moments was when he takes her pants off. SHE ACTUALLY HELPS HIM DO IT. Her hands move to remove her own clothing and they actually do it together. He does not flinch when she initially changes position, it's AFTER that he pulls back. He's still into it when she turns and kisses him and nothing about the power dynamics in that kiss changed from their previous kisses.

This is the entire reason I don't agree that Daemon ends their encounter because he no longer had control of the sex act which is what pretty much everybody thinks the creators mean when they speak on this part and why he ended it. Is he shocked that's shes so responsive? Yes but I don't think that shock has a negative impact on the moment because he never actually had complete control of the sex act and he wanted her to feel powerful. That was never the point to begin with. Rhaenyra is supposed to take control of her sexual encounter, she's supposed to be an equal participant. She's supposed to seek pleasure and take what she wants. She's supposed to give him as good as she gets. That's the lesson. That's the whole point of the awakening. This entire thing is about empowering them both, not just him. This empowerment is important for rhaenyra for all the reasons I mentioned above and Daemon knows this. He had an entire conversation with her about this. He comforted her about her lack of all these things earlier. We even hear Rhaenyra tell alicent that her hundreds of suitors don't actually want her, they want her name and her valyrian blood. Daemon is supposed to be the exception. He intentionally wants to make himself the exception. So having Daemon have a motive of wanting to dominate her sexual encounter and being unable to do so which makes him abruptly abandon then sell her out to ruin her for a title her would make this scenario even worse than it already is because it means he wanted to completely disempower her all so that he could have a shot at the iron throne that he was never going to get. It's literally making her worst fear, the source of all of her teen angst for the last 4 episodes come to life. This interpretation colors every single one of their interactions with darkness from the very moment he has a full conversation with her this episode and gives him a level of villainy that completely takes away his nuance as a character because this act with this motivation requires selfishness and callousness towards her that crosses a line. Ultimately I just don't think this characterization well supported by the narrative and It would also make it difficult to even sell a later romance between the two of them.

So the math ain't math'n so how can we make it all add up? That's what this entire analysis boils down to based on what I've already demonstrated:

Daemon didn't set out to manipulate rhaenyra and this was not a well-plotted plan to ruin her. He wanted to initiate her sexual awakening for her own good because he cares and for his own selfish desire to have her sexually

He loves viscerys but still has resentment towards him leading to an unending desire to upset him when the opportunity presents itself. He was well aware that his actions would potentially stick a knife in Viscerys's back if he found out about it and he relished it but it was not merely a ploy to piss him off.

He did not go out of his way to ensure viscerys found out about it. He just didn't care about the consequences if Viscerys or anyone else found out. He had no connection to the spy at all. The spy was Otto doing the whole time with the help of mysaria.

He actually enjoyed her having control during the encounter, it made him desire her even more because he has always been enticed by her moments of self-assuredness. It makes him crave her instead of wanting to reject her.

The only reason he could not complete the sex act with her is because Daemon has psychogenic erectile dysfunction for reasons that are yet to be revealed.

Daemon did not pre-plan asking for Rhaenyra's hand. It happened at the moment because for the same reasons he was unable to get an erection.

If you watch the scene just before he leaves the brothel Daemon is very much still into engaging with Rhaenyra when she turns around to kiss him. As I said before he was actually relishing her show of control, not shying away from it. The problem is at the point in the encounter where she turns around he has already kissed her, caressed her body and he has already stimulated her vaginally.

(You can see his hand move from her hip further down when he has her against the wall. It was clearly meant to stimulate digital stimulation but it was purposely obscured by shadows and angles to focus on Rhaenyra's pleasure versus the actual physicality of the act)

When she turns around the next escalation in their sexual encounter is actual penetration. She wants it. He wants it....only Daemon can not get an erection. That's why he pulls away and looks at her for so long. He is hoping her desire, her look of hunger, her hair, anything will get his penis to stand up but it doesn't. She pushes to continue but he can't to he pulls away every time. He even attempts to push through it but giving in to her again but he still can't perform. That's when he finally reaches peak frustration which is both embarrassing and inconvenient so he leaves her to nurse his wound on his own. That is why he see that he ended up passing our drunk somewhere and Mysaria has to retrieve him. The control the creators were speaking about wasn't control of the power dynamics of the act, it was about control of his ability to perform aka exert his power ultimate during the acts.

Daemon has psychogenic erectile dysfunction. He had this issue before Rhaenyra since we saw him in the middle of sex with Mysaria, someone he clearly enjoys but he was unable to maintain his erection and reach a climax. That's why they even showed us that scene. Daemon is not physically impotent, he has no vascular issues preventing erection, and he has no neurologic issue preventing erection. It's purely psychologic. When he retreats from Mysaria he is clearly preoccupied with several thoughts. He is chaotic as hell but he is extremely emotional. The emotions we see most often are just petulance, anger, and resentment. His encounter with Mysaria established that when Daemon has too many emotions and thoughts in his head it interferes with his ability to sexually perform. I don't when this started but that is exactly what happens with Rhaenyra.

Daemon sexually desired Rhaenyra but I think once he started the actual act of being with her sexually he completely lost control of his emotions and his thoughts NOT the power dynamics that that's what rattles him. Maybe a little bit of guilt for attempting to have sex with his young niece in the middle of a brothel kicked in, after all until this point he has only known her as family and despite the familial history of incest he himself has never actually engaged in it before (that I know of). Maybe he feels something because Rhaenyra completely trusts him and that trust is why he's about to take her maidenhead in the middle of a brothel even though that is not how her first time should actually be. Maybe he feels an overwhelming emotional connection to her at the moment that caught him off guard because this was supposed to be about sex. It's probably all of the above really but the idea is these thoughts come up and he can not control them and because he can not control them he can not get an erection to actually do the one thing he truly set out to do which is have sex with Rhaenyra. He also can not tell her this because she has no idea what erectile dysfunction is and he can not explain it to her without being humiliated. He is supposed to be the one giving her a sexual awakening not a lesson on men with broken penises. So he leaves her there when under any other circumstances he would never do that to her.

That knowledge makes the entire puzzle come together because it gives his reaction at that moment some context that fits with the lead-up and that makes his later actions make some sense.

When he is confronted by Viscerys he straight up lies to enrage Viscerys and to cover for his own humiliation. Those are literally the only real things he can gain from telling that lie. Unbeknownst to us all and Rhaenyra, Daemon also had an awakening with Rhaenyra and that's why when the opportunity presents itself he seizes the chance to take her hand in marriage. Through his humiliation, he discovered that he desires Rhaenyra in a way that is bigger than he realized. He doesn't just want her sexually he wants her fully and completely. He wants her laugh, her childish curiosity, her determination, her ability to see right through him, her bravery, her stubbornness, her petulance, her anger, her beauty, her valyrian blood, her claim, her everything. I mean he straight up tells Viscerys he will take Rhaenyra just as she is. That was about so much more than a reputation. It firmly makes Daemon the opposite of the men Rhaenyra hates which actually fits the narrative but makes it even more interesting because Rhaenyra is unaware of all of this so it gives them so much more to explore and play with for the characters and their relationships later.

So no he didn't plot to marry her, it isn't until Viscerys himself presents him with the opportunity that he decides that's what he wants to do. It solves the problem of her reputation and gets him what he wants which is Rhaenyra and the restoration of his house to a level of glory and admiration that he feels Viscerys has sullied with his weakness. That's why I think it's important to acknowledge that Daemon was being truthful about his motivations when he says he can restore his house to glory. That is definitely a part of it. Sure it makes his intentions less pure but it makes them authentic and that's what matters the most. If this wasn't spontaneous he would have tried to end his own marriage before he even brought it up to make it more likely to happen. Instead, he never asks to end his marriage, he only suggests taking a second wife because at that brief moment where viscerys has him at knifepoint it's the only reasonable way forward. He didn't have time to actually think about a more seamless way to have her hand in marriage.

Finally, Daemon actually does accomplish his goal. Rhaenyra leaves their encounter and she feels fully empowered so much so she feels comfortable propositioning Criston for sex AND she takes the dominant position placing her own pleasure above all. Her view on sex and relationships and her own power have completely changed thanks to Daemon. This is further solidified by the fact that when her father tells her she's marrying Laenor she doesn't fight him. She will actually do her duty now because she gets what it fully means and no longer feels like she will be a prisoner in a marriage. She even feels so empowered she challenges Viscerys to get rid of Otto, a man he has been loyal to for decades AND it actually happens. Rhaenyra can now effectively navigate her future because of one intense experience with Daemon that shifts her perspective and I think that's pretty awesome for Rhaenyra and for Rhaenyra and Daemon as a pairing.

So in summary: Daemon Targaryen is a chaotic man with chaotic feelings but he is sprung on rhaenyra targaryen and he is not a cold-hearted master manipulator. Rhaenyra is now a boss bitch. Thanks, Daemon. The end lol

[medschoolash]

In Defense of the Daemyra Sex Scene:

So I almost didn't finish this but I still have a lot of thoughts and a few lovely people said they wanted to read my thoughts so here it goes.

Many people didn't like the sex scene or felt underwhelmed, and I'm still confused about why but maybe this wordy meta can help put things into a different and more satisfying perspective. I'm not here to say that you're wrong for how you feel, but I do feel like the scene was great and deserves to be defended, especially since people are blaming the director, who I think actually captured a lot of special things during the scene.

I can understand that people wanted it to be a bit spicier. Who doesn't like to see their favorite couple go at it with lustful chemistry but I think it was unrealistic to expect the scene to live up to an AO3 fanfic. It was never going to be a sex scene plucked right out of fanfic with all of your favorite positions and a lot of mindless rutting, but that's okay because IMO what we got was even better, and I think they picked the direction of the sex scene for a reason.

So no, it did not have the lust-filled frantic to be with each other feel that people expected or the intense tension of that the scene in episode 4 but in my opinion this is not due to bad directing or lack of chemistry. It's done on purpose because the two sex scenes were trying to highlight completely different aspects of their relationship.

The characters that made love on the beach at Driftmark are characters that have gone through so much over the last decade, and most of the things they've gone through have happened without being near each other. Rhaenyra even says she barely knew anything about what Daemon has been doing for the last 10 years. Their separate lives for the last 10 years did not change the love they had for each other but it did change both of them. I mentioned in my metas on episode 6 that Daemon and Rhaenyra lived perfectly content lives and had beautiful relationships and children, but they lived this life suppressing who they really are and what they really want, which meant no matter how happy and content they were there was always a cloud of sorrow and regret around them. This cloud of sorrow and unending feeling of loss shaped how they interacted with each other when they were reunited in episode 7.

The most gripping aspect of Daemon and Rhaenyra's scenes for me was how you could feel the sad longing they both felt through every word, kiss, and touch. They try to talk candidly and casually with each other but even during the part of their conversation that's not about the two of them, you get the sense that there is still so much under the surface that's begging to come out but they are both attempting to show restraint because of how they left things the last time they saw each other. There is so much pain underneath the surface. Pain about not being able to be with each other, pain about shrinking yourself to conform and being humiliated anyway, pain about abandonment, pain about being denied the one thing that you ever asked for from your brother, pain about the loss of two people they cared deeply for that they may have never experienced if they had just been with each other, pain about the what ifs that played in their minds for a decade, pain about not only losing each other but losing themselves.

Their relationship has been an open wound festering for 10 whole years. It never healed completely. It partially scabbed over and just stayed there, nagging them and causing them pain while it just waited for the right time to burst open and oh boy, did it burst. IT burst in the most achingly beautiful way.

If you watch carefully, the creators sought to directly contrast the Daemon and rhaenyra from episode 5 with the Daemon and Rhaenyra we have now. There were so many callbacks to that episode, from the way Daemon and Viserys once again reunite, to the way Rhaenyra stalks Daemon through a crowded room, to the way Otto is still lurking in the wings, and how Rhaenyra patiently waits until she has the opportunity to get him alone.

At the most basic level, a lot of things are exactly the same, except they also highlight all the ways in which they are not.

Viscerys and Daemon do not have an amicable reunion this time. In fact, this time, it's Viscerys who seeks out Daemon and attempts to reconcile, only to be reminded that he rejected Daemon for the last and most hurtful time 10 years ago when he denied him Rhaenyra's hand in marriage.

Rhaenyra lurks in the shadows again, but she's not the oblivious young woman acting without thought that she once was. She's keenly aware that she's being watched and analyzed for any misstep. She's also a mother now, so she can't dedicate all of her attention to her uncle. She actually has other people to care about and tend to that distract her from whatever she wants to say to Daemon.

The only thing that remains the same is Rhaenyra's innate pull to Daemon but we later see that even that pull is clouded by hurt, anger, and trauma. So even when it appears they've once again slipped back into their comfortable and transparent dynamic, it becomes clear that Rhaenyra has had 10 years to stew in her hurt and is not about to let it go even if her heart and soul are happy to be near him again.

One of my favorite aspects of the conversation that leads to their sex scene is how vulnerable Rhaenyra allows herself to be. We've seen her angry and sad before, but all of those emotions before episode 7 were hidden from the person on the other side of those feelings. She has spent the last 10 years believing she can't be vulnerable, she can't appear weak, she can't appear desperate. When Harwin leaves and dies she can't cry or mourn, when Laenor wants to abandon him she can't lash out completely or beg him to stay at her side, when Alicent humiliates her she has to put on a brave face, and deal with it.

With Daemon, the entire facade of her emotional stability collapses. She's so openly vulnerable that she almost appears childlike again. She finally lets herself express how she's been absolutely alone to drown at court and express how angry she is that he abandoned her..

"Look at what my life became without you" is such a loaded and vulnerable statement from her at that moment because it outright says "I was a young woman in over my head and I needed you, you marked my soul with your kiss and your touch then brutally snatched it away, and I was lost without you, my life became a sad tragic incomplete mess because I didn't have you". That one line alone gives Daemon so much power, power that Rhaenyra, as a woman who has been attempting to navigate patriarchy without completely giving into it, has been fighting to hold on to her entire life and especially over the last decade. In front of anyone else, those words would make her seem weak, directionless, and pathetic. They make her seem like a stupid little girl who needs a man to guide her life but in front of Daemon, a man who she still trusts completely, those words give her a new burst of power because they are authentic and are being expressed to someone who will not weaponize them against her.

Daemon has always given Rhaenyra a safety she could not get anywhere else, even before their relationship turned romantic and THAT's what she's been missing for the last decade. That's why she's been drowning this whole time and why she's so angry he did this to her. He snatched her safe space away from her at a time when she needed it the most and from her perspective, he never once looked back to see if she could survive it.

Even the way she is the one to initiate intimacy with him and she's the one who goes in for the kiss and the way she whispers "I want you" in that painfully tender voice could have made her appear just desperate but instead, she feels truly empowered for the first time in years because even if it is desperate this desperation is coming to from the deepest part of her soul, a place she's buried for years and now feels free enough to chase.

This is the most transparent and openly broken we've seen Rhaenyra and it's not just her we see this way. Daemon also finally finds the space to be vulnerable as well. His marriage to Laena was happy enough but the man has been a shell of himself. He was completely incapable of being honest with his wife, probably out of hurt and shame and probably because he cared for her and didn't want to make her feel like being with her was a burden instead of a choice. He couldn't even admit he missed home or this brother to her because he wanted to keep up the appearance of being content in his life but with Rhaenyra, he gets angry when she seems to believe he hasn't been hurting for 10 years just like her. He's finally honest with himself and with her and he allows himself to actually be angry too because it's like do you think I was truly happy? Do you think I was overjoyed across the sea without the one person who understood me and the one person my soul truly burned for? No, I was alone and discontent too and now look my life is a droll tragedy just like yours.

They both finally acknowledged their wounds, and by doing so, it freed them to finally heal, but even that healing was hesitant because of everything that had happened between them, and that's why their love scene had to be slow, painfully tender, and hesitant. It wasn't about lust or burning passion even if the passion is still there, it was about soul-crushing longing and emptiness, and finally feeling complete.

The point of Rhaenyra and Daemon's first sexual encounter is Rhaenyra and Daemon are crossing a line they've never crossed before and Rhaenyra is experiencing a pleasure she's never experienced before. The current Rhaenyra and Daemon have already acknowledged what is between them and Rhaenyra is a seasoned lover, she's experienced plenty of pleasure from Harwin over the years. So the focus with this encounter isn't pleasure, it isn't newness, it's wholeness, the feeling of being completely filled, physically and emotionally. This longing to be whole and filled is in every touch Rhaenyra gives Daemon. It's in the way she hesitates to touch his chest on the beach and sighs when she finally lets her hand travel. It's in the way Daemon breathes her name as if he wants her to stop because what they're doing is dangerous but he also craves her touch as deeply as she craves to touch him. It's in the way she gently reminds him she's no longer a child aka she knows what she wants and what she's doing to help him drop the final barrier he erected a decade ago to hold himself back from her.

Once the mutual wanting is acknowledged, they give themselves to each other in a more profound way than sex. Where Daemon's hands were rushed and determined to please before this time, they are slow and determined to worship. Where kisses were heated and lust-filled, and without thought, they are now so beautifully soft and meticulous so that we can actually feel the deep love between them.

Honestly, I don't know how you can watch the way Daemon's fingers gently hold her chin as they tenderly kiss with so much silent passion and wanting in that first shot of them in the wrecked boat and not see the chemistry and love there. There is a sense of reverence in the way Daemon slowly undressed her instead of pulling her clothes off like a brute and the way he clutches her face in his hands after she's undressed him, and that reverence speaks more profoundly about his love for her than any rushed frantic kiss and undressing ever could.

Rhaenyra gets to slowly undress him to highlight that she's truly making his choice to have him and she has an equal amount of reverence for him as he has for her. They are two people who are slowly healing with every kiss and every touch. The more they lay themselves bare to each other, the more their love grows and the closer they are to reaching that place of wholeness they've been without all this time.

Listen this shit was better than any amount of foreplay these creators could have ever thought up. The sex scene was emotional and sexy because we got to see Daemon take her leggings down, caress her thigh, and even grab it to show how badly he wants her. We see how he rolls his hips, and Rhaenyra opens up even more for him as his hands travel to grab his ass. All of the sensual elements are there, but they are in perfect balance with the emotional gravity of the scene.

And the best part is they finally become whole, and we get to see the moment it happens for both of them. Daemon is initially on his knees when he takes her leggings off and enters her but he brings himself closer as soon as he is joined with her, he completely envelopes her with his body, and from that moment on, he never lets her go because he's finally found his place in the world again. I know there is some controversy because we don't see his face as he rocks into her, but I actually like that we don't have to actually see him to understand where his head is at. The man is buried in her neck like he needs to breathe her in to survive and he hugs her body as he experiences his pleasure like having her in his arms is the only thing he's ever wanted in life. His feelings are very much conveyed in the scene, just now with words or facial expressions.

For Rhaenyra, it's the exact opposite. There has always been controversy over her facial expressions during their love scene. People say she looked bored or like she wasn't enjoying it. I think that's a misreading of what that moment meant for her. No, Rhaenyra's face didn't look like the face of a woman in the throws of intense pleasure and passion but what we got was even better. To me in that moment, Rhaenyra's face is the face of a woman who had been drowning for years, but now she has finally reached the surface again and now she can finally breathe. The angle they shot her also gives the appearance of someone who rises to the surface after fighting for air. We also hear her take a large inhale while Daemon rocks inside of her as if she had been holding her breath this whole time. Rhaenyra wasn't supposed to look like a woman who has found pleasure. She's had pleasure with Harwin for 10 years, she knows what coupling and orgasms feel like. This moment is meant to be more impactful than that because of who she's with and where she is in life how. She's supposed to look like someone with air to fill her lungs and fire boiling in her soul again. It's supposed to look like a relief, a moment of absolute serenity and completeness that has escaped her for years. We're supposed to see the spark of life in her eyes now and the energy that has come to her entire body as she rocks underneath him and runs her hands over every inch of his body she can reach because she's found her safe space again, she's found her center of gravity and the anchor to her identity that she's been missing. We watch her come alive and transform in Daemon's arms; now she can be who she truly is without shame or fear. That was ultimately the entire purpose of her coming together with Daemon in the first place.

That's why this scene was great and almost perfect (y'all can drag Miguel over that shitty-ass lightning for the next 10 years he deserves it lol). This is why I feel like I needed to defend it because we actually got something that was beautiful and nuanced. The directing of this scene gave it an impact that was worthy of the depth of longing and love they have built between these two characters for 7 episodes. That's why I'm so obsessed with it and I hope you become obsessed with it too.

[medschoolash]

Hello. What amazing Daemon meta.. I did want to point out a few things to back you as well👀 Daemon actually starts to feel before their first kiss.. while she is watching he’s sitting alone, and he does not look like a happy man. Even though he clearly removed his outer layers and arguably her jacket before he grabs her hat. Or she took it off because the brothel was too hot. But a great moment I’ve seen no one mention is when Rhae is still a little nervous.. she’s keeping close to him, almost like for protection.. but then she looks up and he’s right there, close. You can see he looks down at her. But she backs herself out and looks away, licking her lips. You can see he immediately does as well from his face movement. If he was only intent on seducing her, that would have been his first opportunity. Then the very next we see him he’s leaning his head on her, almost like he needs a center, and she’s a comfort to him. Forehead leans are part of his love language. He does it with his brother that same day. When he’s accepted home. She’s still watching and then he starts his speech without moving from her. He wasn’t trying to seduce her, he could have already attack kissed her that previous moment. She guides their encounter, not him. Is he overwhelmed by her, yes! Completely. But their fire escalates together. They move together. They take off her pants together. Even their first kiss… guess what. They both move to kiss each other. His choice of setting escalated things no doubt. But he was trying to help ease her fears. And he wants her. Ultimately they just finally gave in to whatever has always been between them that changed over the years ♥️ Oh, and one more thing I’ll send separate ask, actually there’s so many things, it’s wonderful!!

Thank you so much for reading my meta! That means a lot to me!

I'm actually really glad you mentioned that moment there Daemon was alone in the brothel. That was one of the moments that I couldn't quite figure out how Daemon was feeling. He didn't look happy but he also didn't look sad? I also wondered why they even took the time to show him alone at that moment. Maybe they wanted to show him observing her? Maybe it was a moment of introspection for him? I really don't know and I WISH I knew lol

I'm also glad you mentioned that she is initially nervous. I liked the way Milly acted the scenes because she was definitely nervous but you could also see her curiosity. She has never seen anything like this before so she clings to Daemon but she's also clearly curious about all these new sexual things. She even becomes a little bashful when Daemon tells her that this place is where people come to take what they want. Clearly, there are some things she wants and maybe she can take them here. It both reminds you that she is in fact very green when it comes to sex but at the age where she is very curious, maybe even curious enough to explore it. Daemon eases her into the entire experience by being both tender and sensual. He doesn't try to feel her up, he doesn't try to rush her with a passionate kiss. He watches her get acclimated to what she feels and sees and tenderly makes contact with her by having her close and with the forehead lean which like you said has been a big part of the way he expresses love and affection towards the people he cares about. Even when he's clearly angling to kiss her he doesn't do it immediately. He lets the tension build for her and gives her a moment to breathe before he actually brings his lips to hers. This gives her a choice in the matter because she can see what's about to happen, she can feel what's about to happen but she has a moment to absorb it and decide IF she wants it to happen. She could have backed away but she doesn't, She even looks at his lips twice because a kiss is clearly what she desires and then he kisses her in a way that so soft ugh. To me the whole thing was just incredibly intimate verses horny mindless raunchiness and it makes the moment soooo much better. It makes Rhaenyra seem so much more in control during moment despite her limited experience. As you said it definitely escalates but it escalates on Daemon's terms and Rhaenyra's terms.

It's so easy to see just how different it is when you compare it to her scenes with Criston where she appears to control it completely (that's not to say that Criston didn't fully participate). With criston she's purely chasing pleasure. He's engaging her but they move at her pace and her pace only. That is what you would have expected to see from Daemon if the entire thing was selfish on his part, that's what we would have seen if he only using her and only cared about himself having control of the moment. Instead, we see two people collide and chase pleasure and intimacy as equals and that's an important distinction to me.

[medschoolash]

Oh my gosh! I never noticed that! Thank u both so much! It’s true.. the first heated look they share she is still nervous, looks away, so does he… and HE DOES NOT kiss her! And then the next time the same thing happens he still waits for her! She looks at his mouth at least twice. And only after all that does he move to kiss her, but she moves with him!! 🤯 ❤️ 💀 I’m dead

you're welcome! I love finding new things to obsess over in these scenes. I'm so glad you pointed out the first expression she had when he gets close. She totally does turn away like she desires him but she's not ready just yet. Then he just waits and waits, and then she makes the decision and he knows her so well he knows she's made the decision and that's when he goes for the kiss. The entire time nothing happens because she decides it's going to happen. The small nuances matter so much here and it makes their dynamic just really captivating.

[medschoolash]

More proof: When Daemon runs his thumb across her lip, holding her face...he first looks at her mouth, then into her eyes..and only after looking at her does he lean back in to continue kissing her. What aren't people seeing?! Ugh.. Keep doing you! :)

ugh that moment just makes me melt like I could watch it 1000 times a day if I could. It just so tender and sexy all at the same time. Matt Smith and Milly killed that shit. You can literally feel all of his affection for her jump through the screen.

[medschoolash]

LUV yur post! I would also point out it appears she helps him take off her shirt as well. He starts, and then her hands are there, pulling at the ties w/ him. Watched it again, and yeah. She assists taking off her top, and pants.

Thank you for the positive response to my meta!

and you're right, she is participating as he opens her top. She's so sure of what she wants and she definitely engages him as he does it. Rhaenyra playing a part in her own exposure was actually a very important factor for me and for her as a character. The fact that she wanted to be undressed, she wanted to be kissed, she wanted to have sex gives her so much more agency than she previously thought she would ever have. I loved it.