#dafttendirekt

[born-ghost]

★ x 100000000000u know I love it :p

I LOVE YOU! :D

[born-ghost]

omg omg omg i was all stalker in you blog and awwwwwwwwwwwwww i watched your favorite people and i was there and aw i want to cry ): asdfgj thank you sooooooooo much, u are so nice with me ): i really love love your blog. thank you, really. :D

and i love your blog and you just as a person! you're so nice and you're one of the few people who actually goes out of her way to talk to me and you always say something meaningful that makes me really happy! you're an amazing person with an amazing blog and I don't know what i'd do without you! so, no, thank YOU :)

(btw everyone reading this go follow her right now cus she's so cool!)

and follow all of the people here too

[born-ghost]

In fact i consider u a very interesting person :D

awwww thank you... :D 

not many people outside of tumblr do though... :(

[born-ghost]

7.

one thing I'd like to change about myself is... I'd like to be more interesting/talented

[born-ghost]

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OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! fanks! :D

btw we haven't talked in forever... this needs to change <3

[born-ghost]

omg seems like damn difficult situation. i mean i would be super scared if that happened to me. hope the things stay like is right now and hope you dont have more problems like that. thanks for talk that with me lol. and take the time to write all that!btw i love your blog and thanks for answer.!!!!!!!!!!

omg thanks for everything! i love answering questions so thank YOU for taking the time to read my long-ass answers :D

and thanks for loving my blog! it makes me so happy when people appreciate it! :D <3

thanks so much again for the questions!

[born-ghost]

jesus christ lol that was a long long long cute inpiring story. I was like you like all violent. now i have way to much respect for you lol. and you added like gifs and all the things omg hahaha i dont want to imagine the whole whole whole WHOLE STORY lol but tell im interested hahaha :D

lol yeah i did warn u it would be long... but thanks for reading it :D

yeah so anyways the rest of the story (which is more like a prolouge/small epilogue... probably gonna be shorter but idk) i thought i'd do a sort of script format to make it easier to read and what happend kinda felt like it was straight from a movie... and i hate that but... its what happened:

i didn't add this before because i knew it would be too long but...

before all of that crazy creepy shit happened... he had told me calmly that he liked me and i told him i would consider dating him... but i really just wanted to go back to normal where we could just be friends... (i considered it because before the big confrontation he was actually being reasonable and let me take some time to think)

so after that first conversation i told my best friend who i talked about before... it turned out that he had talked to her as well! he told her that he liked her weather it was before or after me i have no idea...

anyways... he knew we told each other everything he should have known that we'd find out... so we both confronted him together and it went down something like this:

Me: So we were casually conversing with one another and we found out something rather peculiar...

Him: What?

Her: You like...

Him: What?

Me: Idiot! you thought we wouldn't talk to each other! we found out what you did! we know you asked both of us out!

and then... really awkward just ugh! straight from a fucked up, twisted, creepy romance film... (mind you he says this right in front of my friend)

Him: Alisa! I don't like her! I just thought that she was kinda hot and I figured she'd be easy!

(she'd had a lot of boyfriends)

Him: I don't even like her! But I love you!

Me: Are you fucking kidding me right now? #1-why would you say that in front of her? #2-you think that just by saying that you'll make me just fall in love with you?! I am going to stand up for Stephy before i EVER take your side! how could you ever think i would let you say something like that about her?!

Him: dude chill...

Me: this conversation is over... and you better fucking apologize

Later in the month he kept hitting on BOTH of us! still and we just ignored him... and thats when he sent me the fateful message that made me just end it all.... that was the one i talked about earlier

now: fast forward a year (over the span of which he'd been trying to re-add me on facebook and contact me in some way)

so we skip to him somehow finding my phone number (which i never gave him) and he kept calling me and texting me and i was getting really scared... but i didn't want to tell his parents because i knew his dad was one of the reasons why he was fucked up,

it got to the point where I REALLY thought I needed a restraining order because he was getting mad at me and kept on trying to talk to me... and scaring me and i thought he would either try to kill me or ACTUALLY kill himself...and i was scared for him because he was once my best friend!

so i talked to my parents and my mom decided to talk to his mom... she told her not to tell him but of course his mom DID end up talking to him... 

fast forward about a month: (day ext. place: my school fair... time: around noon) Stephy and I are on the ferris wheel...

*vibe* *vibe* *vibe* Steph pulls out her phone: It's a text from Jake... oh god! he's asking for your number or aim! 

(i had gotten the phone company to block his number from my phone so he couldnt contact me)

Me: DONT TELL HIM!

*ring* *ring*

Stephy: Hello? um... hi... (she turns to me) he just called me... (back to phone) what? um... maybe... (to me) he wants to talk to you...

Me: IM NOT HERE!

Steph: (into phone) Oh um... actually im not with her... no... i swear im not... oh you did? (to me) he heard you... (to phone) you want to what? you wanna talk to her? i don't think she wants to talk to you... well we're on a ferris wheel... 

Me: tell him we'll call him back

Steph: we'll call you back (hangs up)

so we get off the ferris wheel and we dont call him back... but he calls her right before we get on a ride

Me: (to steph) just give it to me... i'll have to deal with it eventually... (to jake) hello?

Him: Alisa?

Me: No it's your mom... yes. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Him: my mom talked to me...

Me: SHIT! why?!

Him: i hear your worried about me

Me: Jake, DO NOT START THIS AGAIN! here's the deal... the only thing thats gonna happen between us is a restraining order if you continue like this and you know i don't want to do that... because yes... i care. you were once my best friend... just dont hurt yourself.

Him: yeah my mom told me all of that... i get it... but how are you?

Me: i have a lot going on... nows not a good time to talk

Him: do you have a boyfriend.

Me: JACOB! 

Him: i was just wondering... 

Me (lying): yes i do.

Him: oh... well I'm happy for you... really i am... as long as you're happy.

Me: look steph and i are about to get on a ride... i have to go... don't hurt yourself... don't hurt anyone... theres someone out there who will appreciate you more than i ever could... someone'll make you happy but its not me, you know its not me, i never wanted to have to lose you as a friend but im sorry... have a nice life

Him: you too... i just wish we could be friends again...

Me: I don't think I'm even ready for that again yet... bye.

Him: bye.

i reaccepted his friend request on facebook after a few months and by then he had shaved all of his head accept for his new black sidebangs... later he got a girlfriend... that lasted for about 3 months he still tried to talk to me though... he said he still liked me... i never responded to him...

there were things i said that i wish i never had and i know that that day at the fair i acted a little bitchy and he had good intentions... but i just wish none of it ever happened... i should never have sent that facebook marriage request... cus thats really where it all started..

anyways thats the story of my ex-best friend turned emo stalker... so yeah... 

[born-ghost]

3, 4,5,6, 12 & 20 :)

WARNING THIS IS GONNA TAKE A WHILE!

3. What are you most afraid of? I think I'm most afraid of not being able to do everything I want to in this lifetime and I'm afraid of loosing the people closest to me because with out them life's just not worth it...

4. If you could have one thing disappear from this earth, what would it be? foxtails (the plants... they're kinda like a wheat) because the only use i see in them is that they get caught in your pants and shoes and clothes while hiking and are impossible to get out!

5. What would you rename the current country you live in? I'd rename it Canexico

6. If you had to wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be? That's a hard one but probably my MCR t-shirt, my favorite jeans, my unicorn hat and all of my Panic! at the Disco accessories...

12. Describe a phase that you went through... First i went through an awkward bully phase where i wasn't the bully but when someone fucked with me i beat the crap out of them and tried to get others to do the same but i had no friends back then so it was just me and my awkward violent/agressive self... and because of that i never really had real friends until like 2 years ago with like one exception... and I'm ashamed to say i even was agressive towards my best friend when we were little and it hurts so much to think of it now because she still stuck with me the whole time no matter how badly i hurt her and even to this day even though im no longer like that she still puts up her arm to block herself and still ducks when i try to hug her because she thinks i'll hit her... I hate myself everyday for what I did back then and i know i deserved not to have friends but she was still there for me... which still confuses me but it makes me appreciate everything so much more...

that's what i am most ashamed of... if i could go back and change anything it would be those. but now the friends i have are the best people in the world and i would do anything for them, I never ever want to give up what i have now and theres nothing i would change about it... 

WARNING AGAIN! THIS STORY IS SUPER LONG! ABOUT MY STALKER/EX-BEST FRIEND... IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE READING... FINE WHATEVER ENJOY...

20. Think of the last person you stopped being friends with. What happened? The last person i stopped being friends with was my only other friend (besides the one i talked about earlier) from 4th grade till 6th grade... i still considered him to be my best friend in 7th grade but then in 8th grade when we met up again to hang out he was different and kinda creepy... this was after i added him as my husband on facebook or attempted to but he declined so whatever... i added him because he was my best friend and i thought it would be you know a friendly thing cus i hadn't talked to him in a while and i missed him... so anyways we hung out and it was terrible... he was no longer the guy i once knew... he changed... he wasn't funny like i remembered he was dark and gloomy and talked about sex tapes and had become, as i would later find out, depressed and suicidal...

so we tried to hang out again... 

nope. 

not good.

then i get a message from him telling me he liked me... but not just liked me.

he said he was in love with me. since 4th or 5th grade. i asked him to a dance in 5th grade but just as a friend. he not only declined but he told the guy i hated most at school about it... (that guy ended up becoming one of my best friends in highschool) so it was his fault then... he had his chance and i told him that... he then loads this on me:  "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY! YOU'RE LIKE A PRINCESS TO ME!" 

might i just say that... if anyone ever wants to go out with me... don't pull that fucking sappy romantic shit on me because im sorry it disgusts me...

so i told him flat out: "NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN! EVER! I HATE THAT SOGGY ROMANTIC SHIT" (or something along those lines)

i'm not a lady... i tell it like it is (and may i just say this does not mean i'm saying im unique.... i'm saying i'm straight forward) so if something annoys me i fucking point it out!

and then i tell him that i don't feel the same way about him, that he had his chance, he didn't take it and now it was too late and the offer had expired... 

and then he dumps THIS big pile of pity party shit on me: "ALISA! I'VE TRIED TO KILL MYSELF TEN TIMES!"

just like that... as if he were blaming it on me! I don't do that shit! i support friends and relatives and people in that situation but if you're trying to go out with me don't try to make me feel guilty or shit like that because NO ONE is gonna lay that on me and get away with it with me just saying "OKAY! I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU!" NO. FUCKING. WAY! don't do that shit! so i'm literally just like

(im sorry if you think i sound like a bitch... i'm really not... im just tougher than most people think and i dont do that...)

so I'm pissed and I get really mad at him i just fling shit at him... (not my proudest moments might i add)

anyways he gets pissed... i end the conversation and i delete him as a friend on facebook and block him on iChat...

this was just the start to what would become a year long of stalking and loads of shit...

if you actually read up till here then WOW, CONGRATULATIONS! and if you want to hear the rest of the story... because there's a lot more... just shoot me an ask and i'll gladly answer it. :)

SO... YEAH.