#dailymargz

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Click the above link to follow. This is now mostly archive. Still repetitive and somewhat divisive.

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Great news for Margate, as the vaccine is rolled out! Book now!

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Now not available on Instagram

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All go avocado, as litter-free burgers hit Margate

Margate’s fast food offering is set to become greener from next week, as radical new diner Fuck You Burger Anarchy opens to sell its unique all-avocado raw vegan burgers on Margz Piazza.

“We offer a one-of-a-kind taste explosion,” said proprietor and artist Orotund Mountebank, who will move to Cliftonville once the person supposedly buying his Haggerston studio flat gets their act together. “It is an organic Fairtrade avocado patty on a non-dairy avocado cheese, all served on a brioche made of ground-up avocado stones. The boxes are made of upcycled avocado skins, so you can just toss them on the beach when you’re full.”

The New York Times has already published an excited preview of the innovative eatery, which will offer a Margate-themed pizza made from kelp and a culture from Tracey Emin’s bedsheets atop a thin, sea-washed French workwear crust replete with miniature vintage neon sign. Although opinions were divided when the Daily Margz carried out a vox-pop on the Harbour Arm.

“This doesn’t sound like the kind of thing I would enjoy on the beach with some heroin while I leave my grubby kids to maraud in the High Street, to be honest,” said lazy stereotype Dee Tention-Centre. “It’s hardly going to sustain me after a day of racist taxi-driving and illegal dog-breeding.”

Local food blogger Susan Rental-Portfolio was more enthused.

“This will really put Margate on the map, by which I mean my food blog and Instagram account,” said Rental-Portfolio. “I’m told that the Guardian are sending a reviewer too, which is a bit too mainstream for my tastes but will probably bring in those with a more refined palate than the locals. Most of their culinary aspirations are restricted to wanting to appear on Come Dine With Me.”

Not to be outdone by the newer businesses in town, High Street firm Rooks have announced that they will now be marketing their rotisserie chicken as an ‘avocado substitute’ that is ideal for sea-facing sand-top dining.

“We are catering for those allergic to the avocado pear, those who have ethical objections to buying stuff not grown in Thanet and those who have a phobia about fruit that looks like a baby dinosaur or something,” said Rooks spokesman Fay Quipastry.

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Creatives’ Complaint Upheld by PCC

A complaint to the Press Complaints Commission regarding press treatment of Thanet has been upheld, the Daily Margz can reveal. The complaint made by the Press Review Association Thanet concerned national newspaper coverage during the weekend of 21st and 22nd of May 2016.

The substance of the complaint was that UK national newspapers during that weekend failed to write anything about Margz or indeed about Thanet as a whole.

PRAT spokesman, Bertrand Blathrington-Bespoke, was astonished at the lack of a mention in The Guardian and Observer that weekend. “I looked at the rest of the quality press, searching every section where stories typically appeared: travel, food, property and the arts,” the turn-up designer told the DM. “But there was nothing. National news? International news? Sports? Business? Nothing.”

“I then got my hands dirty with the tabloids, and it was the same story, or should I say the same ‘no-story’.”

Blathrington-Bespoke immediately went on a social media offensive and formed PRAT within the day with seven like-minded spirits, all of whom are pleased with the outcome of their complaint.

“This is more than we could have asked for. We were furious that nothing was mentioned on our new resurgent home that weekend. We are looking forward to the apologies that each paper is going to have to make.”

Speaking yesterday outside their offices in Holborn, PCC adjudicator Henry Balanced said.

“We took careful consideration of the complaint and we consider that the complainant had just cause. It was entirely unfair, unprofessional and unbecoming that none of the national press published anything on Thanet over the weekend. Newspaper editors are well aware of the Press Regulation Code which states that both Saturday and Sunday editions of newspapers should have at least one mention of this up and coming area.”

The Daily Margz had some difficulty in getting a response from the press but finally got a statement from the Guardian Media Group media-liaison node Patricia Parent-Paidintern

“The Guardian Media Group would like to apologise to the people of Thanet for not mentioning your wonderful island over the weekend in question. This was an unforgiveable administrative error. Our newspapers have a proud history of writing incessantly about Margate, Broadstairs and Ramsgate. We are particularly sorry to all those people who have recently moved there, including several of our journalists, who rely on our hype to boost the local property market.”