No tengo sentido.
I’ve been walking around with a knot in my throat all day, drying to gulp it down and untangle the mess it’s made. Truth is I’m simply tired of this shyness, this fear of embarrassment.
How many times have I given up an opportunity? A chance? I’ve walked by, afraid to look up, afraid of what might happen, of what could happen…If I would just speak up, say hello, smile and embrace life without hesitancy. I’m tired of walking by. Because I long to have that feeling, warmth resting in your belly, a certain kind of happiness.
Today I walked by again, and afterwards I felt like bursting out into tears, because tomorrow the countdown begins… Two months. So I sat down in my seat afterwards, and laughed (tried to..) with my friends, meanwhile glancing away. Unhappiness reads on my face. It reads in my posture. In my words and behavior.
I am a jumble. A mess. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. My words make absolutely no sense.
I just need a hug. And a cup of coffee.
And an answer to everything.
And a good, long, hiccupy cry, filled with sniffles, and a few packs of tissues.