Nothing ‘Strange’ about myself
November 6, 2016 11:58 pm
Treading on a different track, Doctor Strange is literally strange with all its ‘mystical powers’ and ‘time control’ stuff. It’s a fresh ingredient in the Marvel dish. Personally, I expected more but it didn’t turn out to be THAT GOOD, but was okay-okay. Bits and pieces of the movie had wow elements, all due to the costly VFX and CGI, the cool technologies available to the filmmakers these days. Worlds were turning were in all sorts of directions; people were falling from ground and then flying the very next moment. Indeed, it was unusual, strange!
But my behavior wasn’t far from strange; all these days of thinking, self-bashing, introspecting, failed, once again. And it was disheartening. The habit of eavesdropping on what others say, then speculating it and finally coming to a conclusion of which I am zero percent sure. Although, luckily, thankfully, fruitfully, I immediately stopped those futile development of thoughts which had already cost me time, health, energy, intellect, and... people.
These unworthy speculations make me unhappy about myself; I start to hate myself and that’s where I step away from the path of artistry. If I can’t control myself, love myself, or think good of myself then I can’t think productive of any bloody thing, then one day, my creativity will perish.
The loss of a loved one in the past two years or so has dented me deeply, so much that since then I am in a search for myself: the aspiring artist who wants to be an actor one day. Every day, I fight with myself to find myself and to an extent I have succeeded but, there’s lot to be done. This has become severely personal. But I am not going to give up; I am staying motivated, trying to inspire myself, to my inner-self about good things all the time. Staying high on life, in life. Right now, in the quest of becoming an artist I am learning to spread love to everyone. Of course I am seeking love, but, wanting to explore on the giving part more.
