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Look guys and gals. It's the new year and many of you are as single as a Pringle and ready to mingle. Well, what better way to cuff someone with these great dank succulent pick up lines?? Here's a sample of what I'm offering
"Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths."
If you say this to anyone you'll instant catch them I'm telling you. Just give it a try! Just dial 1-800-GET-FUCKED and you'll be redirected to Jenna who will tell you all the secrets to getting fucked. So what? You missed cuffing season last year but that doesn't mean you have to be lonely for Valentine's day! Start your new year off right!
*Dan approves*















