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#THIS ā„#DandM #49monthsandcounting #LabLab #RawrRawrRawr #ELLA #daysofmyfairytale #ILoveYouMahal #YouandMe #AsaranBuddy #TravelBuddy #PBABuddy #NBABuddy #MovieBuddy #GalaBuddy #FoodtripBuddy #AllinOnePackage #AdventureContinues #SupermanHelloKitty #BeermensPrincess #AlaskaMan #TeamCoffee #GodGaveMeYou #MeantToBe ššššššš https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnl5UhVghQ_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fxe6miwfaw8q
years has passed and iam still as amazed and happy when i look into your eyes and know that youre mine #THIS ā„#DandM #48monthsandcounting #LabLab #RawrRawrRawr #ELLA #daysofmyfairytale #ILoveYouMahal #YouandMe #AsaranBuddy #TravelBuddy #PBABuddy #NBABuddy #MovieBuddy #GalaBuddy #FoodtripBuddy #AllinOnePackage #AdventureContinues #SupermanHelloKitty #BeermensPrincess #AlaskaMan #TeamCoffee #GodGaveMeYou #MeantToBe ššššššš
#THIS ā„#DandM #47monthsandcounting #LabLab #RawrRawrRawr #ELLA #daysofmyfairytale #ILoveYouMahal #YouandMe #AsaranBuddy #TravelBuddy #PBABuddy #NBABuddy #MovieBuddy #GalaBuddy #FoodtripBuddy #AllinOnePackage #AdventureContinues #SupermanHelloKitty #BeermensPrincess #AlaskaMan #TeamCoffee #GodGaveMeYou #MeantToBe ššššššš
why i love you I love you for so many reasons Big ang small And all of them are wonderful I love you for all the special qualities That make you one of a kind The only one in the world for me I love you for the things you do That bring such special meaning to my life I love you for the silent times When your eyes and arms tell me all i want to know I love you Just because i do Because now In the deepest part of my heart A place where there was nothing before There is love #THIS ā„#DandM #46monthsandcounting #LabLab #RawrRawrRawr #ELLA #daysofmyfairytale #ILoveYouMahal #YouandMe #AsaranBuddy #TravelBuddy #PBABuddy #NBABuddy #MovieBuddy #GalaBuddy #FoodtripBuddy #AllinOnePackage #AdventureContinues #SupermanHelloKitty #BeermensPrincess #AlaskaMan #TeamCoffee #GodGaveMeYou #MeantToBe ššššššš
Thereās always that one guy...
The earth-shattering moment you realise that itās ok that Someone doesnāt care about you. Why? Well, because you care about yourself now. At first all you ever wanted was That Someoneās attention. Itād be nice if you could say hello. Itād be great if you could start a conversation with me for once. Can I not always be wondering if youāre my friend or not? Then thereās the painful bit: being ignored. If you like, letās expand and define it as āIgnorationā. The period of Ignoration is where you donāt exist to this Certain Someone. Itās like youāre air or dust. Regardless of how much They say it, or others tell you, you know-that-you know-that-you-know that itās complete nonsense for it to be all in your head. You feel it when They acknowledge everyone else except you. This Someone may blame it on their shyness or their awkwardness but to be perfectly honestā¦maybe they just never really liked you and were too sheepish to say it. Or they repeatedly did with their actions but you werenāt ready to let go. Now that youāve admitted that to yourself, you can calmly move onto the next stage.
Acceptance. It doesnāt matter that they never cared about you, because youāve learned to love yourself. Your life no longer depends on whether That One Guy will notice you anymore. Try not to make such a big deal out of the fact that itās beenā¦how many years? Youāve lost track. All your friends used to be dumbfounded that youād spent so long pining after him when it was abundantly clear nothing was ever going to happen between the two of you. It was amazing how much you rationalised and reasoned with yourself. Youād built this imaginary romance in your head. You know the type where one day he wakes up and realises that youāre what heās been missing and sweeps you off your feet? Never going to happen. Never will happen. And thatās ok. Maybe he was timid. Who cares? Maybe you were just too antisocial. Maybe you expected too much from him. Who cares? Youāve got your standards and you wonāt lower them for anyone, not even him. See all the frustration and confusion you harboured in your heart you handed over to God in prayer. Despite the revelation that he was Somebody Elseās Guy you still found yourself hoping it was all a dream. Though this is reality and itās hard to get over, but you have to for your own sake.Ā
You know what isnāt a mere fantasy? One day you will meet a guy who will realise your worth. You will not have to climb a mountain to get his attention; he will see and love and accept you just as you are. However, at this moment in time you must do that for yourself. It doesnāt matter if That One Guy never paid attention because youāve learnt to love yourself. Learning to love yourself means realising who you are in Christ. Itās knowing that chasing other people only ends in emptiness, but God always satisfies. Youāre not mad anymore. Youāre not hurt or perplexed. You donāt even feel embarrassed. Sometimes we have to go through really bad, weird, hurtful experiences to get to the point where we finally experience growth. So instead of the bad, youāre left with good. Youāre thanking That One Guy for never valuing your worth. Maybe God was sparing you from something or maybe it just wasnāt meant to be. You wish him all the best in life. You hope heās happy and fulfilled and aware of his purpose. Maybe one day heāll see this post and of course, understand that youāre talking about him. Who cares? Youāre free from all that time, effort and energy you spent trying to gain his approval. And if you ever do see those wedding pictures on social media you wonāt get upset.Ā
āCos guess what princess?
One day your time will come tooā¦Ā Ā
What are you going to do next?
If I had a penny for the amount of times Iāve been asked this question. I get that Iām black and studying English Lit is like a fish in a desert. But honestly? Iāve always loved books. Iāve always loved the arts. Whether its television or film or theatre or poetry or whatever. And Iām pretty sure Iām not the only one!
I guess itās the fact that I get tired of people assuming that I want to be a teacher. Thereās nothing wrong with that but there are OTHER things I can do with my degree besides that (er hello PR/Advertising/Publishing/Journalism). Some people may believe it too and others may not. It gets exhausting having to justify what you love to people who will not make any effort to understand. But at the same time, without your input thereās also the chance that they never will.
Based on all this, I conclude by telling people āIām not sure yetā or āIām just figuring things outā. This just makes the situation worse because now people want to try and āhelpā me work out what they reckon will be good for me to do.
Truth is, all I know is what I love and what Iām passionate about. I just havenāt necessarily figured out how make a career out of that. And yes, Iāve been praying to God about this for the longest time. Though Iām not giving up just taking my time. Life is not a sprint more like a marathon. The world will not stop just because I havenāt planned out my entire life yet. Iām taking things day by day, one step at a time. I know itāll all work out someday but there really is no rush!
So the next time someone asks me, āso what are you going to do next?ā My reply: āAnything, the skyās is the limitā
10 Things I will miss about Cambridge
1. Uni - the best and worst time of my life. Iāve grown so much over the past 3 years. Iāve laughed, Iāve cried, Iāve found myself in God. Iāve read what feels like every fiction book under the sun. Iāve fallen in love with literature and the arts and how they attempt to articulate the wonderful human experience. 2. The quiet - London is so loud! Enuff said. 3. All the people Iāve met at uni, work and church. š¢ this one gets me so emotional. During my time in Cambs Iāve learnt to open myself up to people. I admit, I can tend to keep myself to myself but my desire to know and interact with people has blossomed. 4. Ziās pizza - Best pizza ever. I dare you to challenge me on that one! 5. Parkerās Piece - Iāve only sat on the grass there a handful of times and crossed it a dozen more but it really is beautiful in the summer 6. Grand Arcade - For always selling things in stores Iāve never been able to afford. Except for Krispy Kremes, theyāre freakin lit š 7. Theatre - I wish Iād seen more plays in Cambridge, it really is a hub of creativity! 8. Library - Because books are Bae of course š 9. Student discount - Because every opportunity to save money is a necessity for every student 10. My ensuite room - Where I can just be unashamedly, extraordinarily ME!
Time is for everyone. Let's share it.
@watchyoutalkingabout
