Ahhh, your rejecting and regretting series is so good, my heart 🥺❤️ Can you do another one but with kuroo and kenma? You can ignore this request if you don’t wanna do it, I love your writing style and your blog! Stay safe and have a good day! 💞💞
Hey, bub! Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it ♥️ I hope you don't mind me doing this only for Kenma. I got carried away so it got quite longer than I intended 🤦♀️ Anyway, here's your request! I hope you like it ♥️ Have a good day, stay safe and hydrated! Mwah!
a/n: read the note on the last part.
Rejecting and Regretting 6
genre: angst to fluff
warning/s: cursing, do message me if i missed any
a/n: please do read the warnings before you proceed. warnings have been put there for a reason.
ft. timeskip!kenma kozume
title says it all
Masterlist | Updates
Kenma Kozume
When you moved in to your apartment, you never expected your neighbor to be THE Kenma Kozume
If truth be told, you've been a fan of his ever since he started streaming
You knew that he didn't know you nor would he pay attention to you so you did not bother telling him that you were a big fan - the first one to always comment when he starts streaming
Not only did you think that it may make him uncomfortable but also make him feel like you were only trying to befriend him for his reputation
One night, as you were coming back from a short trip to the grocery store, you were walking with your earphones in and nose pointed on the screen while rewatching one of his videos
What you didn't know was that Kenma was walking behind you and was actually staring as you smiled and giggled while watching
You almost squealed when a hand came on your shoulder, almost punching the person behind you
Oddly, that was the starting point of your friendship
Although Kenma was hesitant at first (duh, you almost punched him) , he slowly eased when he felt that you were genuine
You basically went from neighbors to roommates because of how often you went to his unit, just playing random games and having occasional sleepovers
It wasn't long then when you realized that your "fangirling" towards the streamer developed into something more
You realized that you were no longer looking at him as the Kodzuken of the gaming world but just Kenma Kozume
You knew that you were fucked and thus you tried hiding it, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't
So you came up with a solution - confess. You decided that you would take the leap, confess, and hope that everything would turn out well, not knowing that it was only one sided
You shifted from one foot to another as you waited for Kenma to open the door of his unit.
Earlier, you both planned another sleepover and you took the initiative to cook dinner for the two of you instead of ordering another takeout.
As you waited, you could feel your stomach grumbling as the scent of the freshly baked sushi wafted in the air.
To be honest, you weren't really a good cook but you taught yourself how to with the help of youtube and cookbooks. You weren't even planning on learning how to do it but you were getting bored of takeouts, plus, you also wanted to impress Kenma even for a bit.
When the door finally opened, you smiled widely at Kenma while showing the food you made.
"Told you to not bother knocking and just make your way inside," he muttered before taking the pan from you and letting you in.
"Unlike you, I have my manners, Kozume," you playfully said as you plopped yourself on the couch head first.
Hearing him mumbling something under his breath as he arranged the table, you propped your elbow on the couch to watch him with a small pout playing on your lips. Your eyes followed his every movement and you couldn't help but question how someone could look so perfect.
His hair was a mess in a half bun and he was wearing nothing fancy, just his old sweatpants and a hoodie. Despite that, he still managed to look like a model, specifically those who preferred the "woke up like this" look.
"Y/n, are you going to eat or not?"
You blinked your eyes when you noticed the frown plastered on Kenma's face. Immediately, you stood up and walked over to the table with a small blush on your cheeks after being caught daydreaming.
"Sorry," you said sheepishly.
Kenma's apartment was then filled with the sounds of utensils clanking and small conversations the two of you were sharing.
Even though it seemed like Kenma wasn't paying attention, you knew that he was listening. You were aware of how much he preferred listening and observing more than talking anyway. It's just that you wished that he would talk more around you.
Somewhere in your conversation, you tried hinting your feelings towards him. In fact, you think that it was pretty obvious, but it seemed like Kenma didn't notice - that or he was purposely avoiding to indulge you.
"Getting in a relationship with a fan isn't boring you know? It actually sounds exciting, to be honest."
At that, Kenma heaved a sigh which instinctively made you shut up.
His eyes were already casted on the food infront of him instead of you, eyebrows furrowed as if he was suddenly put in a bad mood. "I dont... really like this topic," Kenma said with a dismissive tone.
You felt your heart drop upon hearing that.
You've already practiced your confession several times and there was no way you'd let such words discourage you that easily. All you knew was that you had to get it out of your chest - now or never.
You placed your utensils down and looked at him straight in the eye despite him trying to avoid your gaze. "Why not, Kozume?" you asked, trying to push him to talk.
"I just don't see the point. Why would you want to date your fan? That's... weird," he simply answered, "What if they don't really like you? There's a high chance that a fan would date their idols because of popularity and fame. It's nothing but a self satisfaction."
"Hmm... I guess you do have a point," you said with a nod.
Placing your elbow on top of the table, chin resting on your palm, you pointed at yourself with your free hand which made Kenma look at you with one eyebrow raised. "Then what if it's me who wants to date you? Im a fan of yours, after all. Would you also reject me?" you asked hopefully.
Without wasting any second, Kenma answered, "Of course. Why would I date you?"
You didn't know how to react upon hearing that. You wanted to believe that he was trying to tease you but there weren't any signs of that from the tone of his voice. Moreover, he had nothing but a serious expression on his face.
"Because I like you," you answered with a low voice.
That simple phrase caused the silence to enevelope the two of you. The anticipation made your hands feel clammy to the point that you had to let go of your utensils to grip the sweatpants your were wearing.
Silently, you stared at each other as if waiting for the other person to break the silence - until Kenma did.
"Well, I don't." Standing up, Kenma took his plate and placed it on the sink, his back turned against you as he continued, "I think I'm going to stream for a bit. Make yourself comfortable."
You stared at Kenma as he made his way to his room wordlessly. "Make myself comfortable? Just who the fuck would say that after rejecting someone?" you muttered under your breath.
Knowing that it would be pointless to distract him while streaming, you started to clean the table and proceeded on washing the plates. As you were doing so, you whispered a curse when a tear suddenly slid down your cheeks.
You weren't supposed to cry. You prepared for this so you should've been able to take the rejection properly, right? He was Kenma Kozume after all. Although you became close with each other, it seemed as if he was really beyond your reach.
And now you ruined the only thing keeping you close to him - your friendship.
You decided to leave his unit after that. You felt that proceeding with the sleepover would only put a tense atmosphere between the two of you. Moreover, he did shut you out, right? Though he told you to make yourself comfortable, the way he acted said otherwise.
Maybe he only said it not to hurt your feelings.
"As if he hadn't already," you murmured, shutting and locking the door behind you.
In hopes of cheering yourself up, you decided to take a warm shower and pamper yourself to he point that skincare products basically littered your vanity when you finished and don't forget the fact that you ended up smelling like a strawberry because of your bodywash.
By the time you went to bed, you were feeling a little better... or were you?
As you laid on your bed, staring at the wall beside you while hugging a pillow close to your chest, your mind suddenly went back to what happened awhile ago.
You thought of how dismissive he seemed towards you. He wasn't always like that. Kenma had always been enthusiastic when you're around. Sometimes you would even end up watching beside him as he streams.
What changed?
Groaning, you buried your face on your pillow when you felt yourself tearing up once again. "Tomorrow will be better," you mumbled against the soft material as you slowly allowed yourself to fall asleep.
It didn't.
In fact, it got worse.
Not only was Kenma avoiding you, he was also acting as if he didn't know you - as if you didn't exist.
Earlier this morning when you were taking the trash out, you waved at him in hopes of lightening up the mood, but instead of usually greeting you, Kenma didn't even spare you a glance. He basically walked pass you without saying anything.
At first, you thought that maybe he didn't see you. Maybe his mind was elsewhere while walking. That could be possible right?
But when it continued for several more days, you realized that he was indeed avoiding you.
You felt a mixture of pain and anger. You were supposed to be the one avoiding him since it was him who rejected you but why was it the other way around? He could've atleast talked to you, let alone smile. Did he not value even just your friendship?
As the days went on, you were slowly getting tired of being the only one to put effort on rekindling your relationship. It was exhausting to keep on chasing over someone who didn't even acknowledged you.
Maybe you were just a bother to him after all.
So despite your will to keep on getting his attention, you decided to stop. If he didn't want you then so be it. You already confessed and did your best to show him that you're genuine. That's all that matters.
-
Kenma stared at your door beside his intensely, hand mid-air to turn the knob of his own unit.
It had been two weeks since he last saw you and for the third time of the day, he was yet again met with nothing but silence when he tried knocking on your door.
Where were you?
He knew that how he acted towards you was unreasonable but he didn't expected himself to wake up feeling like shit everyday without seeing you. He did this. He pushed you away. He said he didn't like you, right?
Groaning frustratedly, Kenma entered his unit, heading straight to his streaming room to cool off his head. If he couldn't see you personally, then perhaps he could at least see your name on his viewers.
He knew you always watched his stream and how you would always be the first to comment. Sometimes, you would even donate a huge amount of cash as a tip even though you always complained about being broke.
"They're not watching?" Kenma said unconsciously as he noticed how your name wasn't on the list.
That instantly caused a ruckus in his stream's comment section. Several fans kept on asking who Kodzuken was referring to and some even got the right answer since he streamed with you several times already.
But instead of saying anything, Kenma stayed silent. He focused on his game, occasionally shifting his eyes to the comment section and interacting with his fans.
His eyes, however, caught one comment. It was a link with the caption "Isn't this y/n?". Out of curiosity, Kenma decided to check it, finding out that you were indeed the person in the video.
No, it wasn't a video. It was a live stream of someone like him - a player.
And there you were, seated beside the unfamiliar person with a fluffy blanket wrapped around your body and your your head resting on their shoulder.
Who was that and why did you look too comfy?
"Sorry, guys. I'll have to end the stream now. Something important came up," Kenma said with a small wave before ending his stream.
Stalking the other streamer's socials, Kenma frowned upon noticing several pictures of you attached in their instagram. They were even posted just a few days ago which meant that you must've been spending time with them throughout the days you weren't at home.
Something stirred inside Kenma. It was an unpleasant feeling blooming inside his chest, clawing at him and making him realize one important thing.
He was in love with you.
And it was only confirmed when he remembered how nervous he was when you confessed, how scared he was when he heard the door shutting after he rejected you, and how stupid he was for only realizing it now.
"Shit," he whispered to himself as he quickly tapped on his phone, his finger hovering over your number, debating wether or not should he dial.
Suddenly, he shifted his gaze on the monitor of his pc which was still displaying the unfamiliar streamer when he noticed how you snuggled closer to their side.
Muttering anther curse, Kenma clicked on your number, his eyes focused on the montior of his laptop as he watched you picking up your phone.
"Please pick up," he pleaded when he noticed the frown on your face.
It took him a full 5 minutes and several dials to finally make you give in. He watched as you whispered something on the person beside you before making your way out of the room.
On cue, your voice suddenly met his ear.
"Kozume?"
It was still as soft as he could remember and with the fact that he finally admitted his feelings, his cheeks burned when he felt his heart racing.
Say it. Say it.
Say you like her.
"I-" pausing for a moment to rethink his words, Kenma sighed deeply before answering, "I'm sorry for being mean."
Fuck.
He was met with silence from the other side and for a moment, he got scared that you dropped the call.
It was until he heard some rustling sound that he realized you were still there and was purposely trying to stay quiet.
"Can we talk about this in person?" you said with a tiny voice.
Out of panic, Kenma nodded, forgetting that he was ralking to you over the phone and not in person. Mentally smacking himself, he answered, "Yes. I'd prefer that."
And I'd prefer if you're here instead of that caveman's room.
"Then, I'll be there in 20."
-
The moment Kenma heard someone knocking, he was quick to open the door.
His lips basically parted at the sight of you. It was only two weeks and yet why did it felt like he hadn't seen you in a month?
"Kozu-"
"I'm sorry," he cut you off, arms wrapping around you as soon as you stepped inside his apartment.
He felt how your body became stiff in his hold and without wasting any chance, he poured everything out. "I'm sorry for how I acted towards you. I treated you as if you were the last person I wanted to be with and when I didn't see you for several days, I realized how much I hurt your feelings." He took a deep breath, eyes focusing on you as he gripped your shoulders slightly. "Forgive me? I promise that I'll make it up to you."
Kenma hoped that you could notice the genuineness in his voice. He wasn't the type of person to talk too much but for you, he'd do it if it means having you forgive him and give him another chance.
"It's... alright, Kozume," you answered with a small smile.
"It's alright?" Kenma asked slowly. He knew that he should be happy that you forgave him easily but the way you said it made it seem like you were only forcing yourself.
It's like you didn't mean it.
"W-what do you mean it's alright?" he repeated.
"It means exactly what it means. I don't really see the point of holding a grudge against you, you know? You rejected me and I accepted it." Shrugging your shoulders, you walked pass him and went to sit on the couch. "I guess I just got too ahead of myself. I mean, you're Kenma Kozume, the Kodzuken of the gaming world. It would be impossible for you to like me, right? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my confession."
Kenma swallowed the lump forming inside his throat, eyes darting away from your figure as he shook his head no. "No... That's not true."
"What do yo-"
"I like you. How could you ever think that low of yourself?" he said, finally looking at you before he walking towards your direction. "It's not Kodzuken to you, y/n. Kozume - just Kozume. I don't want you to think that I'm someone all high and mighty just because people acknowledge me. I don't care about that. I want you. I want you to look at me the same way you did before. I want you to keep on clinging to me and to keep on cooking for me despite not knowing how to. I want you to like me again. I just want you.."
You felt your eyes well up with tears. After a long time of pining over someone you thought you wouldn't be able to reach, it was finally here - the moment you finally manage to hear the words you've longed to hear from him.
"D-do you mean that?" you asked with a small sob, your hand covering your face as you felt yourself being lifted and placed on Kenma's lap. "What if you're only saying that to make me feel better?"
"Of course I mean it. I was too stupid being scared of acknowledging my feelings towards you that I ended up rejecting you. I'm sorry." Gently, Kenma rubbed your back as he kept you in his arms, words of apologies continue slipping past his lips as he waited for you to stop crying.
"If I told you I still like you, would you promise not to treat me like shit again?" you asked while wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. "You were really mean to me, Kozu."
"I'd promise," Kenma answered with a nod.
Looking at him, you sniffled one more time. "Then I still like you," you said without taking your eyes off him.
You didn't fail to notice how Kenma's cheeks turned a lighter shade of red and the thought of how he got more flustered by your second confession than the fact that you were seated on his lap made you smile a little.
"Oh," Kenma uttered, as if suddenly not knowing how to react.
"You're supoosed to kiss me like those cliche movies," you said while encircling your arms around his neck.
Kenma's blushed even deeper after hearing that. Gulping, he gave a stiff nod before leaning in and finally planting his lips on yours.
His lips were soft against yours. Despite how tense he was at the beginning, he slowly managed to relax, fingers interlocking with your hair as he kept on moving his lips in synch with yours, both of your eyes closed as you savored the moment.
You felt yourself smiling in your kiss as you realized something - no longer were you just a fan but his s/o.
If you're reading this, hello.
I've decided that this will be the last part of the rejecting and regretting series. Though I had a lot of fun writing these, I'm no longer satisfied with how I'm writing them. The scenes were slowly becoming repetitive as well as the words. I'm craving for something new- something fresh that I've yet to explore. It was quite overwhelming how much people loved this series and I'm very thankful for that so I feel a little bad that this would be the last one. Don't worry, I still have some stuff brewing up that I hope you'd all enjoy.
Thank you so much for the love, support, and most importantly, for reading the series up until this last one. ♥️