I’ve always kept my distance from people. I avoided touch — not because I despised it, but because I knew If someone held me, I might fall apart completely. Every bone in me would break.
But right now, in this moment, I’ve never longed for it more. I’ve never truly belonged — not a place, not to a person. But tonight, beloved, I belong to you.
The sun was sinking lower behind the trees as I watch you step into the muddy puddle. I felt the tightness of my chest, the strange weight in my hands. It was ridiculous, how nervous I was. Your lips look like a soft fruit, pink and natural. And I pray that I forget them by morning. The dawn air hitting your skin, blowing your short, soft black hair. And I hated how much I wanted to be in that softness. Not just near it, not just witnessing it, but inside it. Like if I stepped closer, the ache in me would finally rest.
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And as my hand rested over your heart, I realized — it wasn’t just your lips I craved, but the proof that you were real, that you were here, and the fact that for once, what I wanted — wanted me too.
I had told myself I didn’t need to be touched. But then your fingers brushed mine, and my whole body forgot all the fears I had stored away.
I wasn’t made to express how I feel — or maybe I just ignore my emotions because I feel everything too deeply. My tongue ties itself before I even get the chance to speak.
But for you, I will.
Because I want you to know.
You deserve to know.
— Danielle O.
Everyday, I long for you.