Jul 10
this bloodymary shit has got to get off my feed it feels so contrived please go I literally rebuke you why the fuck am i getting recommended tumblr sexyman crackships from two properties that aren't even about that go away go awayyyy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Kenya
seen from T1
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Lithuania
seen from Lithuania
seen from China
this bloodymary shit has got to get off my feed it feels so contrived please go I literally rebuke you why the fuck am i getting recommended tumblr sexyman crackships from two properties that aren't even about that go away go awayyyy
i feel like no one find the Arnold Schwarzenegger mpreg movie as fascinating as I do
i would like to apologize to all my mutuals for going loco. i will not go loco again I promise. OK now whos up 4 some fanfic
ik this is odd to say because they are both good movies but I feel like the bloodymary ship is just an excuse to get two white guys together. like its happened in other crossfandom ships where a typically white man protag in a media without another decent option to ship him with (meaning another white man) gets paired with a white man from another medium, likely one that holds similar theming or came out around the same time. idk what this phenomenon is called but its defo happened more than once and I think its an example of the "y'all would fuck a fence if it were white" greater sociological instance that occurs within social media absorbance of pop culture. It should go without saying nothing particularly wrong with wanting white guys, but I think this is one of those instances where shipping fandom and distract from analysis of the media at hand. also its worth examining why there's such a need to have white (and even east Asian) men fuck each other in fandom, when instances of mlm ships occurs drastically less for visibly brown or black characters. i mean I think we know why but its worth addressing
Help i cant stop reblogging
i feel like being fake gay with the homies is a rite of passage to being real gay with the housies
am i going home or to hell and back
recently broke up with a friend that was maybe never a friend at all. it feels like she just put up with me for some reason or another. she said she communicated her boundaries but she never spoke to me about it, just ignored me when i spoke to her. then she called it disrespect when she said i took the hint but didnt abide by the silence and stop acknowledging her. i reached out to a mutual friend after a game we were plauing together because she said something in a way that felt bitter or mean. it was late so i was gonna reach out to her after, but apparently the common friend reached out first and she called me weird or creepy for reaching out at all. this all feels ableist. its like i tell people im on the spectrum and it doesnt click for them. I dont understand why she acted like she communicated when she didnt at all. We had a few conversations, and i thought we recovered and that was after ME prompting. she accused me of some things that felt skewed off her own assumption and innate dislike of me. i feel like she was annoyed by who i am from the beginning. and she is not the first person to act like this, someone i have to change for (in all the conversations i have had its been about my behavior and how i need to fix it). I feel like my autism will never let me be likeable. I feel broken
The worst part was the way she shut down conversations by going quiet or demanding silence. The way how even if i tried bringing it up she would literally say that the conversation was over and she didnt need a "rebuttal" like this was some kind of debate. It isnt a debate, and she is childish for that. the way she shut down the conversation when my turn came up was harmful and weird. she just never cared if i lived or died or how i felt.
I know i have to keep going, but i really dont want to. how strange it is to be anything at all, how strange it is to be anything at all. one time i read a meme about pet lizards where the owner said they dont love things to expect love back. i think somewhere along the way that got internalized. I dont love things to expect love back. I dont think my friends or family love me. i dont think i know what love is. i want to love myself but i dont know how. i am struggling with rejection. it feels very alone. i hope i go on someday.
how strange it is to be anything at all