Oct 18, 2014
my friend is throwing his underwear at me and now hes staring at me like jack nicholson halp
but he also gives me cheezballs
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my friend is throwing his underwear at me and now hes staring at me like jack nicholson halp
but he also gives me cheezballs
Just poppin' in for a sec to remind everyone that i'm not dead.
Things are going on as usual except i've got a job now, sort of. It's a traineeship that will hopefully lead to a job with some sort of income... It's at a huge foodstore and kids keep telling me all day that i look weird, and old people compliment my hair or ask me to help them to find things i've never heard of before, and that's a lot of fun! :>
like obviously i don't wear my usual clothing when i work, i get to wear fancy looking shit and having to pull my shirt down my pants, it's a whole new experience i tell ya!
Right now i feel like never ever again change my hairstyle.
me before going out on a 24 hour binge partying like a dead animal and spending half the night until 11 in the morning playing singstar and listening to Tom Jones and Marilyn Manson at the same time
I don't think i like to wear lipstick and full eye make-up like this the way i used to... It feels so uncomfortable for some reason. I'd much rather do more unexpected things with make-up, it's way more fun. This feels so damn... obvious and boring. But at least it's easy and i don't really have to think a lot when i do make-up like this haha.
Hooleee fucking crap, working out is finally giving results, LOOK AT ALL 'EM LEG MUSCLES HHNGGH!! Soon i'll be Xena. Yeah. Totally Xena.
Haven't uploaded av selfie in forever...
long rant about stuff that happens in my life, relationsship stuff etc....
ok so.. this is probably the first time in my life i have been able to sort things out with someone i'm in a close relationship with. I can't even describe how insanely relieved i am right now... Turns out he had misunderstood a lot of stuff about our "relationship status" or whatever, and had heavy feelings of being restricted because he had seen us as "something more than friends". Thing is, i don't do the whole girlfriend/boyfriend/partner thing, personally, i just let relationships evolve naturally and let them be what they are without giving it a certain box to fit in, and am generally carefull not to hurt someones feelings because duh i just don't go about and hide the fact that i live extremely close with someone else too, both emotionally and sexually, that would be assholey...
I think he thought i wanted a more restricted relationship than i actually wanted, and that we somehow had to "de-grade" our relationship to the "just friends" status (meaning no more cuddling, kissing, being generally physical and loving towards each other etc...), which would be weird as that would require us to not do the things we naturally do because our relationship is unique and this is just the way it has evolved into, and it's been like this for the past 1,5 years?
So i guess everything's back to normal now? And that he had just misunderstood my intentions or something... I love him, so i don't want to restrict him to just being able to love me, and he thinks the exact same thing, but i thought that was already clear but apparently it was not derp....
I'm surprised relationship issues actually can be solved by talking about them, this has like never ever happened to me before, it's amazing but i'm still paranoid as fuck and last night i had my usual dose of nightmares but i think things are fine for now... still, i'm to paranoid to let my guard down, it's hard to be happy about the good stuff in life when i'm like this, fuck my brain, it's so stupid.
And i don't know why i deleted my last post about him "dumping me", i guess i was upset and didn't want to bother with the internet for i while... some people left comments in the notes, don't worry, i read them, they were very comforting at the time <3