His Game • spencer’s masterlist • petal’s masterlist
Pick Up The Pieces
back to chapter 7
Dark!Spencer Reid x afab!reader, kidnapping fic, no use of y/n
Chapter Warnings: angst, kidnapping, mentions of drugging, physical abuse, aggressive behaviour, manipulative behaviour, smut, coercion, riding, unprotected piv sex, biting, light praise
chapter summary; Where are you? Here, of course. With Spencer. Of course.
word count: 2.3k
The highway was so loud. Tires against the ground, spinning, grinding, it made you feel like your ears were going to bleed. The droning sound buzzed with your ears, vibrated your skin. Hadn't you left the highway?
You blink your eyes open, head pounding, neck sore. Your eyes found the green wall of the bedroom Spencer had given you. Right back where you started, with Milo curled up next to you. You couldn't ignore the twinge of relief you felt, being back here, back in this cell, back under his eyes.
You rolled from your side to your back, whimpering as you did. You sort of remembered what happened. You remembered the highway, remembered running away from in stead of toward it.
You remembered getting back to the bunker, seeing that camera, and then seeing... nothing.
You remembered the feeling in the back of your neck, and it wasn't hard to piece together what had happened. Etorphine maybe? Something like that.
You shot up to a sitting position when you heard a sniffling sound, your eyes finding Spencer's where he stood at the foot of the bed you rested on.
His eyes were puffy and red, lips chapped and bitten raw, his hair was a mess and you could tell his hands had been running through it. You could tell he'd been crying and you felt nothing but intense guilt. He didn't say anything, and neither did you. He just watched you. You sat up a little straighter.
Were you supposed to talk? you didn't know what there possibly was to say. You didn't know how to navigate this situation, and it was clear that neither did he.
You chewed your lip. "Spence-"
"Shut the fuck up." He cut you off and you closed your mouth immediately. Naturally obedient or just terrified? He wasn't sure and neither were you.
He stalked over to the side of the bed, long legs making their way toward you. You looked up at him, hands trembling with nerves, with fear and with guilt.
His large hand reached down and grabbed your jaw. His fingers digging into your skin as he angled your head to look up at him. You'd have bruises you were sure. But he was so angry, so hurt, you could see it radiating off of him. If these were the worst bruises you'd gotten today, that would be remarkably lucky.
You whimpered as his grip tightened more. He didn't speak, just staring into your eyes. You saw tears creep up over his waterline, and you watched him will them away.
He dropped his hand from your face, fists clenching at his sides before they relaxed. He got on the bed in front of you, and you wanted to inch away, but you didn't.
Sitting across from one another, he let out a shaky breath. "Why would you do that to me?" He asked, voice shaky and muddy with tears.
Your chest burned, you wanted to cry too. "I-" you started to answer, but his hand found your chin again and pushed you back, slamming the back of your head against the headboard.
You let out a sound, a weak yelp, wincing as he pressed your head painfully against the wood.
"Why the fuck would you do that?" He asked again, louder, his hand shook against your skin.
"I-" "Why would you leave me?" He wouldn't let you talk, raising his voice again, his dull nails digging into the skin of your cheeks. A tear fell from your eye onto his hand, and it only made him grip you harder.
"I-I came back-" You tried to explain yourself, but that wasn't the right choice, his hand pulled back and smacked you across the face.
You pushed yourself up right just as fast as you had fallen to the side. Your ears burned, cheek hot as his handprint appeared. "Spencer-" You started and he hit you again.
You grabbed your face in your hands as you cried, and you could hear him cry too. You waited for him to calm down, waited to calm down yourself. "I- I." You sniffed, you didn't know what to say, how to explain yourself. "I didn't- didn't want to leave you- but I needed to go home-"
"This is your home." He cut you off curtly, his lip trembling to match yours. You frowned further. He had to have known what you meant,but maybe his emotional side was taking over the genius side.
You chewed your lip. Home wasn't a house, it was your family and your job, your friends.
"Spencer.. I... I miss-"
"You miss Derek?" Spencer assumed bitterly, saying Derek's name like it was poisonous. He was definitely acting on emotion rather than logic, his jealousy and possessiveness blinding him to the reasons you felt were so obvious.
"I... miss my mom Spencer." Your voice cracked and his face softened just slightly. He knew what you were missing, he had to. His feelings were just hurt right now, and it was your fault.
He leaned back, away from you, and the slight distance both made it easier to think and harder to breathe.
His hands rubbed over his face, smoothing over worried skin, before he ran his fingers through his hair for what you could only imagine was the hundredth time.
He sighed and looked at you with glassy eyes. "I can't understand why you left angel.." He said, voice cracking and it broke your heart.
"Spencer, I came back." You insisted, and he knew it was true, he watched you go back. Still it didn't sooth him, he only grew more agitated.
He leaned forward, eyes wild and broken. "That doesn't matter, what matters is that you left." He spoke, clearly trying to come off stern and supportive, but he only looked afraid and vulnerable.
You contemplated what to say. Spencer was smart enough for you to have a good conversation, for you to explain what you felt.
Except right now it wasn't that simple, you weren't sure how capable of logical thinking Spencer was right now, not when he was so upset.
"I'm sorry... that I left you. I'm happy here, that's why I came back, you're so good to me." You started. You weren't trying to feed into his ego, but it was making him feel significantly better.
"Spencer I just need you to understand that.. I miss my family, and I miss working, and- and going for walks in the park- being able to go for walks in the park..." You spoke, stopping when he began to nod.
"I- I know it's not easy.. to be stuck here." His eyes timidly met yours. "I need you to understand that I need you here.. to keep you safe. You're mine, mine to love, and to protect, and how can I protect you if I don't keep you in one spot." He frowned and so did you.
All you could do was stare at him after? You didn't have a rebuttal, this wasn't a conversation that you knew how to have.
Slowly he moved closer, bringing a gentle hand up to your face, timidly swiping his fingertips over your damp cheek. "I'm sorry this isn't ideal." He said in a whisper.
'This isn't ideal' like you weren't a literal kidnapping victim, repeatedly drugged and beaten and stolen from anything you've ever known or loved. But you couldn't bring yourself to feel that way. You knew what condition so many kidnapping victims were kept in, and you were much better off than a lot of them were. You were blessed.
"I'm sorry that I left." you whispered back to him, eyes digging into his. For the most part, Spencer was so sweet and gentle with you. You leaned into his hand on your face. You craved the tenderness more than you realized. You needed it so bad, the bruises were worth it to earn the gentle affection.
The corner of his mouth twitched upward, almost smiling and your chest ached with relief, he wasn't so angry anymore. "I'm glad you came back." He whispered, leaning forward and kissing your forehead. "Are you really happy here?" He asked, and you nodded against his touch. "Prove it to me." He said before leaning back on his hands.
You didn't know what he meant, examining his teary eyes, lips bitten raw, twitching hands, and finally, the slight tent in his slacks. Heat rose to your cheeks as you shuffled closer to him, kissing him gently, to which he kissed you back immediately.
He helped you take your shirt off, finger tips gliding across your skin and leaving goosebumps to pebble in their wake. You took your pants off, along with your panties, as he unbuckled his belt tor you.
Pulling him out was your job. Your hand wrapping around him, long and warm. You heard a noise come from him, deep in his chest as your hand moved up and down him slowly.
You felt a rush of nervousness, but when you looked up to him, and saw that reassuring, assertive look in his eyes, your anxiety settled, and you crawled into his lap, your thighs on either side of his waist.
His lips found your forehead as you spat on your hand, bringing slick fingertips down and between your legs, swiping them between your lips to make sure you were ready to take him.
His shoulders tensed in anticipation as you gripped them, lifting yourself up, lining him up, and then very slowly sinking down.
He breathed slowly, and you matched him, deep breaths in and out as he parted you and pushed past your walls, until you let yourself move down, until your ass was flush against the inner half of his his thighs, the thatch of hair above his cock warm against your clit, and his balls, heavy under your ass.
You whimpered and he did to, at just the sound.
His hands rested on your hips, fingers digging lightly into the soft flesh there.
"G-good." He praised, sounding nearly pained as you finally began moving. Shifting up before letting gravity help you back down.
You did it again and again, before his grip tightened on your hips and he helped you move up and down, up and down. At first, you'd held back any noises you felt inclined to make, but soon you were whimpering into the crook of his neck as you slammed your ass down onto him, praying that every positive and negative feeling he'd ever forced upon you was felt in each thrust of yourself onto him.
His lips found your shoulder and you screamed as he was suddenly biting you, his teeth digging into your skin, claiming you in one more way. His hands would leave bruises on your hips, but you wouldn't be surprised if his shoulders didn't end up with bruises from your grip, scratches from your nails.
It wasn't long before your knees began to ache, but each soft groan and sigh that fell from his chapped lips kept you going, encouraging you to move faster, squeezing around him, sucking him into you like he was meant to be there, because maybe he was.
His lips dragged along the side of your face, almost kissing your skin but not quite. He placed his lips on yours eventually, swallowing the moan you let out, and moaning against your kiss in return as you picked up the pace.
He could feel himself getting closer and closer to his orgasm. You could feel his hand gliding down your stomach and between your legs, searching for and finding your clit. He was an abuser, a kidnapper, murderer, but he was not the kind of man who would cum before you did.
You nearly screamed at his fingers, fast and steady against your clit, moving in tight circles in order to pull you along with him, bring you right next to him on the edge.
You clenched around him as he twitched inside of you. "Ask first." He said, voice strained. You whimpered again louder.
"Please?"
"Please what?"
You whined, head falling back and allowing his lips to suck on your neck. Your legs shook and your chest heaved. "Please can I cum? Please?" You whined and he moaned, nodding against the side of your head before you were both cumming in unison, his fingers tearing at your sides while your body quivered over his. Each of you moaned together, in a symphony.
He rubbed your back, nimble fingers tended along your spine. You hid your teary eyes in his neck, you weren't upset, you didn't need to cry, but your body was bringing you there anyway.
You're pretty sure he could tell, whispers of 'it's okay' and "you're okay' in your ear.
Slowly, after you had both caught your breath, after a good amount of his cum had slipped out of you and down his balls, he leaned you both forward, pulling out of you and letting you lay on your back.
Your eyes closed quickly and he didn't protest. A kiss on your cheek and a loving hand in your hair."I took a leave of absence." He speaks softly. "I'm not going anywhere for a little while." He said.
It should've sounded like a threat but instead it was calming, exhilarating. He peppered kisses over your back as you rolled onto your stomach, hiding your tired smile in the pillow but he saw it anyway.
"I'm going to take a shower... but I'll be right here when you wake up angel." He whispered in your hair before getting up and walking away.
And for the first time, being apart from him didn't give you any new sense of clarity. You felt the exact same as you did, with your arms around each other and him deep inside you while you recount how much you truly love him.
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