I don't have anyone to talk to about my general dislike of Kataang as a ship, so... I thought I'd ramble to you. XD
I actually really like when one part of a ship tends to do a bit more of the caretaking, though never all the caretaking, and I tend to like to balance that with the other partner either being generally more stable and sound or being physically stronger and more of a protector role. But one thing I never can stand in a ship is one part of the ship acting like a full on parent and the other part of the ship acting like their child, especially if it's a mlw with the woman acting in the role of mother (due to the tired 'my wife is a nagging ball and chain / I have three kids and one of them is my husband' stereotypes that I really hate.) And Katara was slotted into the role of Aang's mother figure despite what shipping moments the writers put in that feel awkward as heck. (And on that note, I really feel like laughing when people hold up those shipping moments as proof of the ship's supremacy, because it doesn't prove the ship was ever any good, it just proves that the writers might've had kataang as their baby they wanted to make end game even if it didn't feel natural.)
Kataang is one of those ships that I think makes sense that it happened, but I cannot see them making their relationship work for very long. Aang developing feelings for Katara and Katara developing feelings for him when they're some of the only people they see consistently for a long stretch of time while they go through a lot of trauma makes perfect sense. But then what makes sense at least to me is them starting to argue, struggling in their relationship, spreading it to their friend group some accidentally, and eventually cut things off mutually and decide to just be friends. That's my shit! Katara means a lot to Aang and vice versa, but I don't think that would change at all without a romance element and would actually just make their foundation as friends and as family that much stronger.
okay so this is like 2 weeks old forgive me but yeah; i agree with a lot of this.
a lot of people who have issues with k@taang tend not to have issues with the tropes in the ship, like a caring partner with a childish partner or w/e, but the way it’s applied in ka despite their canon development being portrayed as something romantic is ... weird.
katara is a maternal person, we’ve seen her react motherly & almost smother those around her — mainly toph — because it’s partly a trauma response & partly the role she was forced to mold into post her mother’s death & her father going off to war. this itself isn’t a bad thing, a lot of katara’s ships have her being maternal & caring towards her partner because that’s who she is!! she’s a caring person. but with a.ang, it’s less a functional choice she’s made in the relationship where she has the option to turn it off when it becomes too much, but more something she has to do because the relationship won’t let her grow out of it.
just look at some examples in the show. a.ang runs off to play with others while katara is concerned about them getting food & surviving. katara is consistently looking out for the group while a.ang is often off doing his own things & a lot of the time, not doing the one thing he’s supposed to do, master the elements.
hell; a.ang consistently goes into the avatar state & katara is consistently made the emotional band aid to prevent him from going too far & killing people in it, something that is never resolved in the show or even in the comics. in ember island players, he tells katara that he had to actively resist going into the avatar state just because a version of her on stage — an actively sexualized, demeaning, offensive version of her btw — made out with zuko & he didn’t like that. he doesn’t even care to ask if she was okay when her friends were laughing at her for rightfully being upset about this & then later on, he forces a kiss on her & then acts like a wounded puppy when yet again, katara is rightfully upset.
this also doesn’t change by the time we get to tlok. katara is now the healing housewife who does nothing when her husband actively isolates himself from his two non - airbending children to focus on the sole airbender; which was incredibly harmful & disgusting. this a.ang doesn’t even have the “excuse” that a lot of atla - era a.ang stands give him about his age, him “only being twelve.” well he’s in his 30s by that time so clearly nothing has changed. knowing what we know about katara in atla; how she’s headstrong, how she stands up to her loved ones if they’re doing something wrong, how she’s compassionate & cares & loves with her whole heart — does her standing by when a.ang is actively harming two of her children sound like something she would do? no.
but that’s what she was written to do because the writers fundamentally put her character behind the ship they wanted her to be in, a ship that they’ve had incredibly toxic & misogynistic ideals about, including a.ang being the “nice guy” that had to win her from all those “gross dudebros” that dumb girls apparently always fall for.
i really wish that even if they had to become a couple in atla, their marriage or whatever wouldn’t have survived into tlok. not because i ship zutara or i “hate a.ang” but because i love katara, i see a lot of myself in her & she deserved better than a relationship that would consistently treat her as arm candy, something to be won & would fundamentally change her character to someone who just stands by passively as a “caretaker”, rather than acts as a “lover.”