#darkparts

[theresbeautyinthelittlethings]

Let me show you all the dark parts of me 🖤

[quinnradio]

#darkparts with @quinnandcantara

[certified-bibliophile]

Dim little light

Ive always thought about suicide its just been there in the back of my mind id think of new ways all the time and one day i almost did until this one person came into my life they stopped me we werent that close but they said it would matter if i were gone so i stayed that statememt alone is the reason im still here why i didnt end it in the bath that afternoon.

That person is still in my life and i dont know what i would do if they werent theyd go to hell and back for me now and its crazy to think that a random co worker would impact and change my life that way.

Its scary to knowing they have that power they can literally say you wouldnt be here if it werent for me and those words are terrifying.

Its scary that for a while they were my only happiness the only dim light i could see and knowing how much they mean to me how much i truely love them in a way i cant explain..

I dont even think they remember that conversation and through some thick i dont even have it anymore but i knownit happened..i know it occurred.

I wouldnt change it i wouldnt even dare…

Where i am now with them is unbelievable i can tell them anything i can trust them with my life in a way i never thought i could or even imagine..

But more thick has occured and theyre still here but so is another and ive accepted theres no way to get around that..

Theres no way to eliminate that and ive come to terms i will have this person in my life in any way shape or form i can in any situation possible no matter the circumstances and that…

That right there scares me no moral ive had previously matters its thrown away with this person.. and that is scary that they are that important to me that they have that power…

The only good thing about it about that light is i know it wouldnt burn me it wont go out..it wont dim itself to put me back in the dark. It wont use its light as a way of control.. it wont and it says it wont and i trust it…

Thats a lot coming from me. My ability to trust is thin its been worn down by many thicks yet its strong enough to be possible with this person and thats scary but so great..

I still have those thoughs those plans are still knocking around my mind the dark parts the light cant or just hasnt reached yet..

but i couldnt .. I can think i can imagine i can plan all i possibly want but it wouldn’t happen i couldnt do the deed commit it no matter what..

Why because of that light ..that light has lite others and will continue to light everyone it can even if it puts itself out and that i couldnt allow i couldnt take that so..

Ive learned To light them myself to greet the dark parts but make sure to put a light in ots path when it feels the slightest bit of strength..

That dim little light that co worker who said i mattered is not so dim now..

[darkpartsmusic]

Listen/download: Deep Blue (demo) by Dark Parts

[alexesposito]

[alexesposito]

Goldilocks

One day I'll tell you the truth Of the hell I put you through. I'll tell you of my defeat And why I gave up everything. But I hope one day you'll see, I hope one day you'll forgive me For my sad ugly parts, For my dark HEART. One day I'll make sure you know That you are so beautiful. Your heart is purer than gold, And whiter than snow. You are all of my love, And all of my joy. Your first breath gave me life, You are my brightest LIGHT. One day if you choose to hate me For giving up on our family, I may find myself drifting out to sea. Forgiving myself won't come easy. But I will tread, See you on land, And I'll swim back, I'll take your hand, It's not the end. WE CAN BE HAPPY AGAIN.

[alexesposito]

Tangerine

As I left your house last night, I couldn't believe I wouldn't drive by that old building In the morning. You know, the one they're tearing down. It looks a lot like me when you're around, Falling apart, Bleeding straight from the heart. So thanks for nothing that I wanted and for everything I needed. Thanks for diving into the sea to make I'm still breathing. But I never wanted you here, so it's time for you to go. It's time for me to drink up all my sorrow and to finally be alone. I want to learn to be unhappy and to just go through the motions. I want to stay up all night lifeless just to sleep before the sunrise. So kindly just fuck off because I want to die alone, I want to sleep and breathe my pain, I want to never find a home. You're breaking down my walls and my roof is caving in. You feel like the home I swore I'd never find again. You shine your sunrise heart on my sleepless tired eyes, I know it's fucking beautiful but it's making me go blind. Your eyes are too damn bright and it's fucking up my dark, You're bringing back to life my stone cold dead and dying heart. But I know that it's not true, what you say about my virtue. You're just a memory I don't want, and I'll erase you if I have to. No wait, don't go yet. Just stay, I don't know why. At least give us a chance to make up a goodbye. Or maybe meet me on the shores of Montauk When we both have different lives. And I swore I'd never fucking do this again.

[alexesposito]

Deep Blue

I dove into the sea, And hoped that you would save me. When I took a breath of water, It burned my lungs like fire. I finally opened my eyes And felt the sting of salt. But everything was clear, This isn't all my fault. When you finally came around, I thought you would pull be out. But you tied a stone to me, You just watched me sink. You left me to drown, You left me to drown. You just let me drown. In the deepest blue, I feel the deep blue. In the deepest blue, I feel deeply blue.