Ode to dad
More than a year ago I wanted to reach out to you, I wanted to buy you a cup of coffee and simply talk to you.
I wanted to see the woman I had become inspite of you.
But something stopped me, something is always stopping me from doing the things I feel inside.
It can either be the old scars you left me with, or my common sense acting out. My brain protecting my heart from getting hurt again once again by you, not knowing if this is it... “this is when you will completely shatter my heart”.
Something stopped me, because I realized, I only wanted to see you to get how i felt off of my chest, I wanted to tell you about all the times you stood me up when I was just a little girl, I wanted to tell you about the times I fought against mom just because “I was daddy´s little girl,” but “Daddy” was never around.
i wanted to tell you about all the poor choices I took, because I was damaged, and you made me that way.
I wanted you to see how broken I was... Because I needed someone to come and save me.
In the end, I never told you how I felt, I didn´t shove it in your face either. But all of this things were left unsaid... and here I am writing you an “Ode to dad.”
Even tho you were never there, you are still and will always be my dad... I will forever be “Daddy´s little girl” on the inside.
And you will have forever a piece of my broken heart. I wish I could say it´s put back together, but it turns out, only the one that breaks it can put it back into place.
And we... just never had the chance.
