#dash:jordan

[kinglyben]

jordanjinn replied to your post: people your age shouldn't be getting married

Some royalty’s creepy child marriages are not a reason for us to make the same mistakes.

There are plenty of examples you could have chosen in the middle, you know. 

[marykatehood]

@jordanjinn:

Oh but MK, you are that person and we mostly love you for it. But sorry, I claimed the title first and I’m not looking to give it up. You can just hook up with your hot archery trainee or something to take your mind off King’s Day and a certain redhead’s tongue instead. Fine, I’ll get Freddie to make a death pact with me instead. I know she’s ride or die enough.

Okay, but it’s a day in my hometown, about my family, I should get to steal it this time! And I can’t fuck the competition this close to actual competition time -- unless you think it would distract him from winning. Although Oliver’s not going to be winning anything, so I’d have to pick someone else who’s actually in the expert bracket for that to do any good, and most of them are like, close personal family friends. Hey! Who says I’m even still thinking about King’s Day and Noa? Totally, totally, so long forgotten. You guys are going to die on my parent’s anniversary? Can you wait until the next day instead? 

[jungleboyblake]

@jordanjinn:

“Excuse me, do I hear the makings of a rumor? Who exactly is your future wife? Is the Ice Queen finally thawing out?”

“Wow, you don’t know who my future wife is already? It’s like you don’t even know me at all, Jordan!”

[fredcilier]

@jordanjinn:

“Yaassss, queen! Drag them! I mean, has he really though given that they’re still sending our trash to the Isle as a food source?”

“I’m sure if you said that to him he’d feed us some shit about how all the ‘innocent children’ are here now so it’s not so bad -- but whatever, I dump whole trays of untouched cafeteria food in the trash all the time, you’re welcome, dad, for your chicken finger feasts courtesy of moi.”

[marykatehood]

jordanjinn replied to your post “�� + have you ever had a crush on king ben?”

Ew, no. SUCH NO, MARY KATE. You don't need a king to be a queen, clearly.

I know that now, but can’t a third grader have her dreams? Are you telling me you never even thought about what it would be like if Ben married you? The whole kingdom’s been wondering about his future bride practically since we were in diapers. 

[fredcilier]

Private → Freddie x Jordan

@jordanjinn:

“I feel like this is a callout post for me and it’s not even subtle, Fred.”

“Me? Make a callout post at you, the most tolerable Auradon Kid I’ve ever known? Surprisingly not intentional, I was just getting sick of hearing all the vultures in the locker room drooling over ‘your’ man,” Freddie teased, making airquotes with her fingers as she said the phrase aloud.

[oldjayblog]

Well, my fans seem to disagree. I’ve seen them writing stories about me and Harry. Apparently I can even make deranged pirate hot.

You and Harry? That's funny, Uma has him by the balls I doubt he has eyes for anyone else. You and me though? We can be something great. I'm just saying. @jordanjinn

[kinglyben]

@jordanjinn:

I mean, your pushed to the side wannabe Bieber Circa 2007 bowl-cut isn’t exactly great either. But I’m having trouble picturing you bald. Maybe I still have to wait a few years until your hairline starts receding naturally.

I have to do something to hide the dents from the crown. Kidding -- it doesn’t actually leave dents regularly, it was just the one time. I’m sure if my advisors think that the baldness is a sign of weakness, they’ll ask Fairy Godmother to do some magic on my head -- but I don’t want her making exceptions for me, I can wear like... a wig like a normal person.