#dashes0fconfessions

[dashes0fconfessions]

You’re loosing me

slipping out of your fingers

slowly loosing my trust

Feeling more loved

by strangers

that fill the void you left behind

It’s your loss,

as I’m not like the others

Not ordinary like the rest

The tragedy is that

by the time you realize I’m gone,

It’ll already be too late

[dashes0fconfessions]

I will be my own Hero

If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you have to save yourself. Don't wait for a prince/princess to come and knock you off your feet. I'm my own Hero because I know how to save myself. No one else does. I know the Raw-truth. I'm sure it would be great to have someone, someone to make me fall head over heels. But I want to be independent and I also want to be able to do things on my own. I don't need someone else to be happy. I will be happy on my own, this time. I am my own Hero, this time around.

[dashes0fconfessions]

You know what? Fuck your bullshit. Obviously anything or everything with you, is a fake shell of whatever. Give me a break. I thought you were different, but you are by far such thing. You could at-least have given me some sort of explanation, but no, you just have no dignity. That's okay though I regret wasting my money on you. I hope you have a fucking nice life, with fake people like you.

[dashes0fconfessions]

I wish I could change the words from its yours, to I'm yours. In some ways I am yours, but in so many other ways I am nothing near that. I'd like to call you heartless, but I know you are far from it. I would call you bad things, but it is not going to change what happened, or how I feel. It is not going to change anything, especially not the overwhelmed feeling I feel inside. I said I wanted clarity and I got it. I have been used, used to a certain degree. I'm happy you are happy and as I said, your happiness comes first. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt at all. It actually hurts a lot. I just feel so fucking empty inside. So raw. So alone. I feel like I am tired of all of this. All those words I wrote down to you, sent you my handwritten letter, first and last love-letter I am ever going to sent. I have a curse and I don't intend on letting any other try to break it.

[dashes0fconfessions]

I wish I didn't feel how I feel. I wish you would give me a clear answer to how you feel about me. I wish we could just figure this out, but actually, it feels like you don't want to figure it out at all. It seems to me that you enjoy these manipulative games, to play with how I feel. The worst part is probably how you got me around your finger, like a puppet, doing anything you ask. It's not the ideal feeling, to say the least. Just please, make up your mind so I don't keep investing my feelings into something you might just care about out of boredom. So that I can work on moving on, instead of staying still.

[dashes0fconfessions]

I wrote a simple, Hello, instead of writing what I really felt. I'm too scared of pushing you even further away. I'm beyond scared, do you even care about that? I thought about writing "Hey, I just thought I would let you know, that I miss you" or "I'm trying real bad to give you the space that you want, but I fucking miss you C, I do." But, no. I end up sending, Hello and I am frightened for even that to push you away. I'm pathetic. I'm not supposed to feel like this. I gave up on love, I fucking gave up on love, then you have to come and set a new fire with a lighter, a fire to my heart. Even if you just played with my heart. I'm trying to give you your space, I don't want to choke you, or feel that you're not free. Not at all. It just sucks so much, that you don't care at all. It sucks that I don't know where I have you. It sucks that I put so much into this and I don't know if it was all just a game to you. && It is like the weather is on my side, because it has been raining so much the past days, I have been feeling blue. Maybe it is weather's way to say they "feel me", understand how shitty I feel.

I fucking miss you, I really do.